The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Quoting Nan:

They saw no value in your possessions and valuables (values), tossed them and replaced them with their own. Oy is right.

I had no real problems with my sister-in-law until she did that. Even though she took it upon herself to interfere with my relationship with her younger brother, my husband all these years. I was sixteen, he was eighteen, both of our families were extremely dysfunctional, home was not a good place for either of us to be and we were smart enough to understand that, though at the time we hadn't formed that knowledge into a conscious concept. We just instinctively knew we would each be better off getting out of our environment. So, I got pregnant, in the middle of my junior year of high school, he had dropped out in the 7th grade to work because he had to. I'll just let it at that. I didn't want to tell my parents until I finished the school year, because I knew it would be impossible to do that if they knew. He told his brother, his brother told his sister and his sister told his mom and they wanted to "share" this information with my parents. My sister in law instigated this and drove her mother to my parents' home for a "show down". Fortunately, my mom wasn't home and my Dad was preoccupied with his "bottle" so I was able to persuade his mom, that I would be telling them in good time and to please back off. My sister-in-law didn't like me because she was best friends with my husband's "ex-girlfriend" and I was the reason she was his ex. The girlfriend was a beautiful girl, I didn't know her, only of her, after my husband and I got involved. She had a heart condition, and shortly after my husband and I became an item, she died during surgery. It was really a tragic situation for all of us. Can't believe I held up so well during that time.

((((sigh))) I want to step through the screen and into that rain, CC!! That looks like Heaven to me. And I would love to see where the road leads! ((((sigh))))

Nice rain, indeed, cosmiccat. The "7.82.net" sent me off on a traipse that got to:
And, via guesswork, to things like this (far longer than you think!)

PS. I guess the sites are in Japanese... or is it Chinese?

Don't reach for the salt box. Other cultures need to be very careful of what they admire in words. It's also ingrained enough in the culture, it's second nature to them. Mistakes aren't made. It even goes so far as dreams in some. If one of the group were to dream of something of import, the others would do their very best to satisfy it. One noted example was it actually put a "tribe" in dire straights to accomplish it. But it was important to do so, as they feel a huge sense of community and if they didn't it would cause all harm. Community is a very poor choice of words.

Just walking in the door was very excepted here for "friends". It was actually an insult if you were to go to the house and say not to the barn during working hours. When you walked in you gave a "singing" hello, everybody had their own greeting. The singing part just let's the voice carry further. I suspect there was probably a time frame when this was more acceptable, as far as day and night go, but there were calling hours too. The habit was around along time, but it has since tended to go away. I can't observe it anymore. I still think it's an insult if family or friends actually knock on the door, I just don't hold it against them, not their fault they're still youngsters and weren't raised right. However I don't blame them either, some have a hard time with nudity and other little house hold games. Nope some just weren't raised right. A knock on the door will freak me out, someone just walking in, will just get my head to raise up a little. The dogs seem to sense it this way too. Guess it might boil down to upbringing.

Thanks, but antibiotics are the better get well soon.
She's already better, just hoping we don't have to add steroids to the mix. We'll know in another 2 days, maybe sooner.
She's a tough ol gal. She has to be, she lives with me. Hell I wouldn't.

Oh my.

Proud of you. Couldn't get but an icon out of you before. Remember I was going to call you "Speaks Little" if you kept it up. A bit might be lost in the translation. To hear someone say that would be like giving them an Indian name, it has that kind of ring to it here.


And the wise one, Speaks Little said:
"I also ask for silence when we are speaking (often I do some example of trying to speak when there is noice: I point out a kid and tell him/her to try to say something while the others talk all together, they think it's funny."

I never heard that one, most excellent.

As a 12 year old babysitter,I learned that the quickest way to get a kid to stop crying was to start crying myself.First their shocked look and then they forget their tears.Odd,but it worked.

Yep. Or do something totally off the wall. If it's outrageous enough, they'll start laughing in the middle of it.

My neighbors and my remaining housemate are very quiet, what "burns my bun" are all these jokers with mega-powered
sub woofers in their cars that rock the house every time they pass by.

ok, in Ashland, OR, USA (about 16 miles from me) we have a Halloween Parade that can't be beat! People dress in fabulous costumes my fav was the guy in the painted cardboard cereal box with all the knives and butcher cleavers sticking out of it ( he was a cereal killer) anyway,they close down the streets in the afternoon so the kids can join in and everyone walks down the main street. No one stands on the sides of the street to 'watch' the parade, everyone is in it and the whole town joins in, walking down to the big Lythia Park where everyone tokes up and has a beer. .
well, maybe not. . but the restaurants are all open and there are many many street venues.
The Halloween lights are up and the ghosts are on the lampposts. . .
Halloween is considered an all embracing holiday. . no one is left out, it is anything you want it to be. Even the straightlaced Christians can join in with a Fall Harvest Party that they have as part of the parade. Everyone comes. . .

Merle

... and I thought it was bad when I was moving into an apartment for college and my mom who was never going to be there insisted that I had to have my chairs arranged a certain way. I told her I want the tv "there" because that was where the cable connection was and I didn't want a glare so the chairs and couch should go on the wall across from there. She insisted that I should put one of the chairs in the path of the main door and facing the sliding glass door. Why would I want to walk around a chair when I got home and face the sun instead of the tv? To facilitate conversation between guests I would never have? Every time I put the chairs where I wanted she would go behind me and move them. I was so mad and she was being so rude that my friend who was helping me move actually told her off. I was shocked. (there were some more pieces of furniture involved but I can't remember all the details because I was so mad at the time)

Of course, Nan, your experience takes that cake. At least I was able to put things how I wanted once everyone left. I don't know how or if I could have handled what happened to you. Once my mom moved an unsealed (it could have been altered with a stiff breath) pastel drawing I had done and I pretty much had a breakdown.

Just for clarification, the grain of salt comment was not because I didn't believe the culture could be like or didn't believe my cousin but because I didn't trust myself enough to get all details correct. She told me about it a few years ago and I don't trust my memory. Somethings i can remember in detail and many other things I forget in seconds. I guess I phrased it in a way that suggested that I didn't trust her but thats not what I meant. Sorry.

Oh, yeah. I hear ya (and them!). We've got our own boombox boy, who we can set our watches by. He gets home every day about 6:45pm. What's scary is that he's got his windows rolled up and I can still hear him pull into the parking lot from the back of my place. Bet he has no hearing whatsoever in another year.

I do remember the last conversation I had with my mother about all that (my father couldn't be bothered to come to the phone. He was reading the newspaper and was not to be interrupted). In it was something like "you know, they had to get your father out of a meeting to tell him about you" said in tones of "how inconsiderate you are!" I didn't ask for them to have been called, and there I was - inconsiderate enough to have the doctors saying I was unconscious and wasn't going to make it, so my parents had to be inconvenienced by driving to the hospital to sign paperwork in the middle of a weekday. I still think I made the right decision by severing all contact with them. Especially once I had a kid of my own. They are completely toxic. NO way I was ever going to allow them at her.

I'm so sorry about your pastel! People do not think, they just do not think what they are doing so often. I've said this to many moms I've met, when they've commented on my relationship with my daughter over the years. My daughter is a person. When she was a toddler she was a person, a teen=a person, and now as a young adult, a person. I treat people with respect. I see people treating their children worse than others treat their dogs. I'm constantly amazed. Then I think of how my parents were with me and my siblings. And though I haven't always known what to do, I am pretty damned sure about what NOT to do from having lived with them

I mean, children are people, too!