28 Oct 2007, 9:41 am
28 Oct 2007, 9:41 am
28 Oct 2007, 10:14 am
what's cognitive therapy?
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
28 Oct 2007, 10:18 am
richie
Supporting Member
Joined: 9 Jan 2007
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,142
Location: Lake Whoop-Dee-Doo, Pennsylvania
28 Oct 2007, 10:22 am
what's cognitive therapy?
"what's cognitive therapy?"
Here's one place to start looking:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_therapy
28 Oct 2007, 11:19 am
thanks for the birthday picture Lemon....Me loves bunnies
My mom did remember my birthday.A $50.oo check and the following card.......
For you,Daughter
A tiny bit if life advice on your birthday
(inside)
silly is good(it never was when I was growing up)
selfish is not(uh oh,I here another lecture on how selfish I am coming up)
Never forget the blessings you've got(ie...stop whining)
Smiles are contagious(not to worry...I was inoculated against this years ago)
Laughter's a gift(one I never received from my family...they never got "my humor")
Deeds done for others
gives your spirits a lift("Denise...stop reading and go get me a Coke,then do the laundry and set the table)...I didnt feel very "lifted"
Caring is classy(Oh,I thought having your towels folded properly and NO knitted poodle toilet paper covers was classy?)
Friendships a jewel(I think she knows this is not something I excel at 
)
Life is a journey(I have my towel,just waiting for the spaceship)
and love is your fuel(no wonder I'm so tired)
I think my reaction to the card is proof positive in the "hyper-sensitivity" of aspergers...I didnt feel gratitude,just felt like I was getting another lecture about how bad I am.I mean...if she thought I was fulfilling any of the "advice" offered would she feel a need to send me this "reminder".
I wish those of you going in for a DX,a good experience and a DXer who can look beyond the current stereotypes of how AS presents in adult females...they just don't have the research to understand this yet(and I dont see them "bothering" to do any).
I hope more women coming forward for DX will help break some of these stereotypes.
When I went for my DX....it was very difficult because he wanted me to answer the questions...not as who I am now,but who I have been through out my whole life-span.....it's hard to recall "yourself" through out your life X every question....I kept getting lost in memories and having a hard time getting back to the room I was in(hard to explain).I brought in a 20 page summary of the RDOS test......each question I answered with how it did or did not apply to me.(I dont think that All the 8 traits apply to me but he disagreed...said I had all 8.)
If you also "freeze" when asked ambiguous questions...I would suggest that you break down the 8 criteria in the DX and give examples of how if fits or does not fit your specific memories through out life.....write it out for them with your personal memories and any input from family/school reports that you have available(not easy for us after all these years...family members have ther own memory distortions,something I think that DXers need to keep in mind when they require your parents input in memory of your childhood....their "psychies" have their own personal agenda in recalling things a certain way...specificaly one that releaves them of any guilt or blame(that's just basic human preservation at work).
I wish you both luck in finding someone who is no insane(not so easy to find in the mental health professionals).
28 Oct 2007, 11:34 am
28 Oct 2007, 11:44 am
Krex, may I suggest a couple of exercises that may help? I'm not saying you have to do these, or that they'll work for everybody, but they've helped me...
When I get anxious about what people think, I put it into the longest perspective I can. Modern cosmological theory holds that in another eight billion years, our Sun will exhaust its hydrogen fuel, and expand briefly into a red giant star. Its circumference will extend to somewhere between the orbits of Earth and Mars, placing this planet well within the photosphere. When that unhappy day comes, will anyone know or care what happened here today?
For stress, a visualization exercise:
You're in a mountain meadow. The wind gently ruffles the grass. A creek burbles through the meadow, spreading into a small pond. The waters of the pond are deep and clear - so very clear, in fact, that you can plainly make out the expression on the face of the person whose head you're holding under the water.
There now - don't you feel better? 
28 Oct 2007, 11:56 am
44 and can't decide what to be "if" I grow-up.I have a closet full of "grown-up clothes",so I am halfway there(I just cant wear them because they hurt).
Also researched "work at home" and small business options.Seems you have to be orginized and net-work even to do this.I am so screwed.Chasing my tail.I always get this far(research)and get over whelmed and start looking for janitor jobs in the want adds.I did see some interesteing "dog walking" companies but they require driving and taling to strangers....You can see why the social workers I have had who try and help me find a job end up tearing our their hair.Every suggestion they give ends with some "phobia/anxiety/self doubt" that prohibits me from considering their "options".Haven't caught that tail yet.
Oh, you just wrote about the reasons I am having so much trouble. I used to spend time crying because I don't know how to be a grown-up.
I don't cry about it anymore but I do wonder when I'm going to be one like all the other grown-ups I know. Chasing your tail is the best way I've heard it described! 
28 Oct 2007, 12:10 pm
richie
Supporting Member
Joined: 9 Jan 2007
Age: 66
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,142
Location: Lake Whoop-Dee-Doo, Pennsylvania
28 Oct 2007, 12:22 pm
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
28 Oct 2007, 1:27 pm
My mom did remember my birthday.A $50.oo check and the following card.......
For you,Daughter
A tiny bit if life advice on your birthday
(inside)
silly is good(it never was when I was growing up)
selfish is not(uh oh,I here another lecture on how selfish I am coming up)
Never forget the blessings you've got(ie...stop whining)
Smiles are contagious(not to worry...I was inoculated against this years ago)
Laughter's a gift(one I never received from my family...they never got "my humor")
Deeds done for others
gives your spirits a lift("Denise...stop reading and go get me a Coke,then do the laundry and set the table)...I didnt feel very "lifted"
Caring is classy(Oh,I thought having your towels folded properly and NO knitted poodle toilet paper covers was classy?)
Friendships a jewel(I think she knows this is not something I excel at
)Life is a journey(I have my towel,just waiting for the spaceship)
and love is your fuel(no wonder I'm so tired)
I think my reaction to the card is proof positive in the "hyper-sensitivity" of aspergers...I didnt feel gratitude,just felt like I was getting another lecture about how bad I am.I mean...if she thought I was fulfilling any of the "advice" offered would she feel a need to send me this "reminder".
oh, Krex, I have a few of the same sort of cards sent to me by bewildered parents. I detest "Hallmark" sort of cards for the syrupy sweetness and I read into them way far more than what the people that selected them ever did. The people that sent them have passed on, but the cards still remain among my souvineers. . and it is my fervernt hope that before I pass I can get enough congnitive therapy to read the cards in the spirit in which they were intended, if only to realize I was right in the first place, and it was all veiled dissapointment and subliminal rebuke.
I hope more women coming forward for DX will help break some of these stereotypes.
When I went for my DX....it was very difficult because he wanted me to answer the questions...not as who I am now,but who I have been through out my whole life-span.....it's hard to recall "yourself" through out your life X every question....I kept getting lost in memories and having a hard time getting back to the room I was in(hard to explain).I brought in a 20 page summary of the RDOS test......each question I answered with how it did or did not apply to me.(I dont think that All the 8 traits apply to me but he disagreed...said I had all 8.)
If you also "freeze" when asked ambiguous questions...I would suggest that you break down the 8 criteria in the DX and give examples of how if fits or does not fit your specific memories through out life.....write it out for them with your personal memories and any input from family/school reports that you have available(not easy for us after all these years...family members have ther own memory distortions,something I think that DXers need to keep in mind when they require your parents input in memory of your childhood....their "psychies" have their own personal agenda in recalling things a certain way...specificaly one that releaves them of any guilt or blame(that's just basic human preservation at work).
I wish you both luck in finding someone who is no insane(not so easy to find in the mental health professionals).
Thank you, Krex, I will try to remember that. Also, all my family has passed away, so they will be getting MY OWN inturpretation of how I thought my parents personal agenda was. As Christina Crawford so aptly pointed out in her autobiography "Mommy Dearest" those who live get the last word. (!)
Merle
28 Oct 2007, 1:43 pm
only if you are from the Southern States in the US. and it would be 'hey y'all'
or Hidy, ya'll.
It was me that was going to see a clinical social worker on Thursday. I am going to be 'observed' so if I have to defend myself for my job through the workers with disabilities act I have some clinical 'diagnosis' data that might establish my defense should some 'clean sweep' manager get a wild hair up their butt to fire me.
smart move, Merle.
Merle
who qualified highly to get my part time job but they didn't have any part time shifts for me, so I won't have the $$ to move to Portland in January. I am now focusing my energies to get a fuel efficient vehicle. I had to park my current one on Friday as it bled out all it's transmission fluid ( so red and glistening. . what a metaphor and a simile! I know I can kick her into gear with supplimental fluid for a while to get me to work and to the laundromat, but other than that, my darling convertable is finally toast.
Awwww, that's always so sad when they bleed out and die like that.
My last dead car basically wouldn't turn off and the key would not come out of the ignition. The only way to shut 'er down was to pull the wire off the battery. Got another car really fast. But had one drop a tranny sometime before that one. Never a nice thing. I can recommend Mazda Proteges. I'm on my second one now, the last one went about 150,000 miles before I sold it. Only problems were that it went through two radiators in 10 years. No other problems at all. The Mazda GLC I had before that went 250,000 miles before I sold it. Used to go through U-Joints every 75,000 miles, and a couple of radiators, but nothing else major went wrong. Don't think they still make those - wish they did, I'd get one next. Used cars from car rental places, like Hertz, saves one a ton o bucks.... Good luck!Last edited by Nan on 28 Oct 2007, 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
28 Oct 2007, 1:46 pm
44 and can't decide what to be "if" I grow-up.I have a closet full of "grown-up clothes",so I am halfway there(I just cant wear them because they hurt).
Also researched "work at home" and small business options.Seems you have to be orginized and net-work even to do this.I am so screwed.Chasing my tail.I always get this far(research)and get over whelmed and start looking for janitor jobs in the want adds.I did see some interesteing "dog walking" companies but they require driving and taling to strangers....You can see why the social workers I have had who try and help me find a job end up tearing our their hair.Every suggestion they give ends with some "phobia/anxiety/self doubt" that prohibits me from considering their "options".Haven't caught that tail yet.
Oh, you just wrote about the reasons I am having so much trouble. I used to spend time crying because I don't know how to be a grown-up.
I don't cry about it anymore but I do wonder when I'm going to be one like all the other grown-ups I know. Chasing your tail is the best way I've heard it described! I have no freaking intention of ever growing up. I'm just faking it for a little longer so I can sell my condo and move and then I'm reverting ASAP.
28 Oct 2007, 2:24 pm
44 and can't decide what to be "if" I grow-up.I have a closet full of "grown-up clothes",so I am halfway there(I just cant wear them because they hurt).
Also researched "work at home" and small business options.Seems you have to be orginized and net-work even to do this.I am so screwed.Chasing my tail.I always get this far(research)and get over whelmed and start looking for janitor jobs in the want adds.I did see some interesteing "dog walking" companies but they require driving and taling to strangers....You can see why the social workers I have had who try and help me find a job end up tearing our their hair.Every suggestion they give ends with some "phobia/anxiety/self doubt" that prohibits me from considering their "options".Haven't caught that tail yet.
Oh, you just wrote about the reasons I am having so much trouble. I used to spend time crying because I don't know how to be a grown-up.
I don't cry about it anymore but I do wonder when I'm going to be one like all the other grown-ups I know. Chasing your tail is the best way I've heard it described! I have no freaking intention of ever growing up. I'm just faking it for a little longer so I can sell my condo and move and then I'm reverting ASAP.
Oh, okay! So if I just hang on for a few more years, I won't have to revert back because I'm already there, and very good at it, I might add!
28 Oct 2007, 2:25 pm
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