The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

Post Reply New Topic

Oh, they used to be like that and lil' girls still is. I have my decorating ritual, too, one that I had to have when I was young and I just can't seem to shake. There has to be Bing Crosby crooning and hot chocolate with spices and marshmallows, we have pizza for dinner and make a few decorations, but I guess it isn't "cool" anymore. They'll miss it when they move out.

I know what Mandarin oranges are, thanks. I sort of figured you must. Wasn't sure how much cold medicine you had taken, though.

I find it more useful to think that if I know nothing about someone, they deserve a minimum level of respect. They can lose it, they can earn more, but they start out with a minimum that depends more on my ability to offer respect than anything else.

So we measure it by our own reactions, what is useful to us? It is something you give, not what is deserved? Nothing is owed, and as gifts, not needed. Your opinion is just that.


I saw nothing in Sapphix' posting that equated ASD with a lack of pandering to the implied social needs of others or any of the other things you list. There are lots of other types of emotional problems. Excessive jealousy, dependence on always being the centre of attention, a need for power over others. These are all emotional problems which, as far as I know, have no connection with ASD, and no connection with your list.

ASD implies a lack of social and emotional communication. Jealousy, dependance on social attention, and a need to feel power over others, are strong NT traits, we are defined by not having them. We are mind blind, unable to read minds, and generally oblivious to social games. Using emotional manipulation to run social games is very NT. The blind do not play tennis.


Even if you want to ignore the shades of gray that do exist, remember that there may be more than one dimension. There are other choices besides being either manipulative or honest, other ways to harm either oneself or others. For example, you can go away from good in the direction of manipulative or, at a right angle to that, in the direction of being aggressive.

And none of that fits in the black and white thinking of AS. It is NT to claim to be doing good, while being both manipuative and agressive. It is those social skills we lack, which define us. There is no gray thinking, it is a wolf in sheep's clothing. It is black in hiding, the dark side. A half truth is a lie, and AS is known for speaking plain. It is, or it isn't. Good is good, evil negotiates.

If I have understood you correctly (which may not be the case) you defend against an attack that doesn't exist.

Evil exists, twisting, turning, seeking to overcome. What attack? Who attacked what? AS you know, I missed it. Explaing why facial expression, body language, implied meaning, and emotional appeals, do not work, is not due to an attack, it is just defining AS.


I don't understand you here. Do you deny the existence of emotions, do you deny that some emotions are universal (except for severe pathologies), do you deny that there are universal patterns to emotional responses?

Oh my. I just accidently "outed" my AS status at work to both my bosses in an email in response to an inquiry about my interest in participating in a disability awareness program. I guess we'll get to see how this falls out now, huh? {wincing}

I'm with Inventor, broadly.

Such emotion as I have, if that's what it is, I possess. It does not possess me.

I have no subconscious.

That makes most people smirk, when I say it. I am incapably of lying. I speak the truth. I cannot do "white lies", avoiding saying what I believe is the truth. When I'm wrong, I admit it.

I have also made the simple choice - to do good. That needs no qualification, to my mind.

And maybe it will work out for the best, Nan! You are great at your job, have received recognition to that effect.... I'm sure it will be just fine.

Like my boss said, it's easier to know I don't get her humorous? sarcasm than to think I just didn't like her.

I'm with Inventor, broadly.

Such emotion as I have, if that's what it is, I possess. It does not possess me.

I have no subconscious.

That makes most people smirk, when I say it. I am incapably of lying. I speak the truth. I cannot do "white lies", avoiding saying what I believe is the truth. When I'm wrong, I admit it.

I have also made the simple choice - to do good. That needs no qualification, to my mind.

Yes, I do. In so far as they are universal, nothing is, they have different meanings in different cultures, they are a form of pre language, with variation, showing your teeth in one place means friendly, in another it is agressive.

Anyone who does not agree must have a severe pathology?

I said no more than be true to yourselves, welcome new people, help mothers and children, and be accepting of other Cultures of One.

Hmmm, might get to work from home more. I get SO much more done this way. (Including shooting myself in the foot, proverbially.)

In the black and white thinking of AS, we have the choice between doing good, doing nothing, or doing evil.

Blessed...I LOVE your new avatar.(I feel so guilty for eating his cookies...how could I!)

Nan...I hope you do get tot work from home.That is my dream job.On my week off I did nothing but research(for health and jobs stuff)and was discouraged by how few jobs there are to do from home(most are scams)so to be able to have the stability of a "real job" and be able to work from home would be so ideal.

As far as asking someone with As to "share" information about AS with co-workers...isn't that a bit like asking the deaf worker to join the choir.Sounds prety scary to me......maybe write a "memo"?

Blessed...I LOVE your new avatar.(I feel so guilty for eating his cookies...how could I?

I don't think I trust myself to work at home. I just don't have the determination to force myself to work when I am in the place where I do NOT work . I go TO work and while I am at work I practice those habits that don't get me sacked, and when I go home I am unencumbered by anyones expectations but my own. On most days, that is enough.

But I found out this week that my supervisor finally let her manager know, and I get smiles and a hearty 'hello' from him consistantly now. I got a flash of insight from him just the other day, like I had differentiated into a desired oddity that he could claim as was so enlightened he could get 'reasonable accomodations ' and bring him beaming approval from the far more enlightened bosses in Portland and Seattle. It could be worse, I suppose many things worse than being regarded as the office cat.

Merle