When I joined

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chesapeaker,

I may have confused the issue by saying that I know aspies who are better than NT's. What I mean by that is that I know a lot who are more welcoming than a lot of "perfect" NTs have been to me. I don't mean to suggest that aspies are somehow superior to NTs (or vice versa).

We're all people right?

I can understand how you must be feeling particularly after 14 years of marriage ending in divorce. Was it truly awful all the way? Surely there must have been some good at the beginning at least?

Divorce is a horrid thing which can bring out the worst in people. Your husband may have been feeling vindictive rather than simply behaving as an aspie. It's possible.

I've been married for 10 years now, my wife is an NT. It hasn't been smooth all the way but I like to think that we consider eachother's needs. I'm a lot more emotionally responsive to her than I used to be but I still make mistakes.

There are aspies from all levels here on WP. Some are diagnosed and some are not. Some are emotionally acclimatized and some are not. We're not all the same and I expect that you'd find similar sorts of aggression and bad behaviour on other forums. No, I'm not offering an excuse. I just hope that if you take anything away from WP it's that all people, including aspies, are different.

Well, thank you for making things clearer. I am glad you are responsive to your wife. Of course, there were many things I loved about my ex and there were some good very good times.





I have a great life now as I did before I married him. I don't need this craziness(this forum) in my life. I'm not sorry I came here. I learned quite a lot. I learned what I needed to help myself. But, I don't need to be an emotional punching bag anymore, even on a forum. Like being married to my ex, most of the AS's here don't think what I have to say is worthwhile listening to. There are lots of people outside of here who do think what I have to say is very important and interesting and treat me with respect .

Just a footnote. One of my very good friends that I train dogs with worked with AS children for 10 yrs until going professional dog trainer a year ago. He is a clinical psychologist educated at the U of Minnesota. One of the nicest people and excellent kind dog trainer. In fact when we met a year ago, anecdotes about my ex AS and my friend's AS counseling profession is how we got into a lengthly discussion and became friends. Minnesota is very proactive with Autism & AS etc. My friend says that working with kids early on really helps them but that training their parents to help them is even more important. That sounds like a simple, obvious remedy, but until recent years, there was no help like this.

I do appreciate your kindness in replying to me in an empathetic, intelligent, courteous manner.

What is PDD-NOS??? Sorry, I'm not into psych stuff, much. Hope you get good help and understanding.

[quote="chesapeaker"][quote="Tim_Tex"]When I joined, there were only 114 members (I am #115)



I wish you all the best things in life and good luck if you decide to not be here. Things change.

chesapeaker,

It sounds like WP is no longer providing any benefit to you, so I guess you're probably right to leave. I'm glad you're happy with your life now, though I'm sad at the cost.

I sometimes see aspies using their condition as a shield for bad behaviour. Aspies can improve but like everyone else, they need to work at it. A good role model also helps.

Thanks also for your comments on the forum. Sometimes we lose the fact that we're a support community.

Very very interesting youtube site. thank you.

I'm a bit of a newcomer here. Not really sure whether or not I have Asperger's. Looking at myself, and the relationships I have with others I feel it's worth finding out for certain.

Most days I get by ok. Just another of the huddled masses yearning to get by unnoticed. Trouble is, I'm not as much like themas I'd like to be. I've always been sort of a "Stranger in a Strange Land", and I don't have a passport. My relationships tend to be brief & end badly, and the subtleties of dealing with others are kind of like picking up a second language.

With my family & close friends, this has never been a problem. The workplace is another story.
Just about anything I say or do is documented, analyzed for subtext, misconstrued, and used against me. I'd really like to know, among other things if others here have experienced this sort of situation & how they dealt with it.

Nice to meet you, shadowboxer.

Shadow Boxer, it sounds like you're describing my life and the lives of many on here. For my first twenty years or so, I thought I was speaking perfect English. Turns out I was leaving out all the complicated social messages that were expected. It's at least comforting when you realize you're not the only one.

I'm chesapeaker's ex-husband's wife, and I guarantee you that she was lying and slandering him and that he is not at all what she claimed. He's not even fully AS, only has a couple of aspects of it. My teenage son is a full-blown aspie, so I know what I'm talking about. She used what she THOUGHT was his "condition" to totally excuse any of her own causative behavior. He's no angel, of course, but she was no saint, either.

Shadowboxer - I grok.

PDD-NOS: Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified
Often a diagnostic catch-all for those whose symptoms are identified but do not conform to the criteria for a more specific diagnosis.


M.

westernwild,

Every story has at least two sides and some people are more suitable for eachother than others.

I'm sorry that chesapeaker got what I believe to be the wrong impression of Aspies but I'm glad that she feels happy with her life now. I don't think she was likely to change her feelings about aspies, so WP was obviously not the right place for her. She's better off without our negative comments and, I suspect, we're all probably better off without her negativity here too.

Obviously you're more suited to your husband than chesapeaker was and that's good too. It means that you're all where you belong.

Indeed everything has 2 sides (often even more though but that's besides the point)
And as the saying goes: "You never get a second chance for a first impression"
So it is most unfortunate if you get the wrong picture of someone (one can then ask if it is possible to get an accurate full picture of someone)
But I'm thinking WP is a good place for me.
At least enough reading material to keep me occupied for quite a while

I think it's great that kids with Aspergers can find out right away what's going on with them and that they're not alone. Way to go, Wrong Planet, for all your support!

Perfect guess, it's mid 08 and the number is 21K.