I started a personal blog on this site..... I want it to be about my journey since my diagnosis. How the more I find out about aspi, the more I get to identify with something or someone besides myself.
A little background
The world has been pretty frustrating for me. I would develop mantras like "its hard to be a smart girl, in a dumb world."But that was not it. There are lots of intelligent people out there. What I did not understand was why would people get so emotional over things.
When my parents divorced, I did not feel the pain that the rest of my family seem to. I understood the reason for the separation, and logically it was the best choice for those involved.
Most of the time i have been frustrated, angry, and bewildered by the emotions and choices of others. As well as by their perceptions of me. I have been labeled stuck up, (cuz i am pretty?) rude, insensitive, narcissistic, weird, (even when hangin with "fringe" groups). Its strange when the outcasts shun you.
I tried drugs, alcohol, and sex, to fit in. that did not work well. I tried retreating. There again no success. I did not understand why people were repulsed from me, like a magnetic field that kept everyone and everything out. All I wanted was to connect on some level.
Frustrated and confused I stumbled forth. failing at just about everything I tried. Knowing now it is/was because I am unable to understand the nuances that others take for granted.
My journey starts here. With this new knowledge.