The Dino-Aspie Ex-Café (for Those 40+... or feeling creaky)

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Oh, no. That sucks. But, you've got to be optimistic, for his sake especially, and for your own. Besides, Medicine is advancing so rapidly, and so much improved, that he may not have to go through what you went through. Please, don't go that "horrible, horrible mother" route. If he must have this thing, at least he will be blessed with a mother who can help him get through it and keep it at bay or in remission until a cure comes along. Be good to yourself. The best medicine for both of you.

(Notice that I am ot really here! I'm too busy)

Blessed, Oregon Becky just wrote a similar post in General Autism

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt58955.html

Blessed, you are not a horrible, horrible mother. A horrible, horrible mother would have denied that her child's genes could possibly be imperfect, and not gotten him treatment for his Crohn's, making him suffer with it until he could get away and get it diagnosed.

Sadly, I've known people like this - it's one of the reasons my wife's severe depression went untreated until after she developed comorbid Anxiety Disorder and PTSD (so now, when something traumatic happens, she gets anxious, it starts replaying in PTSD-land, and that depresses her...). Her mother was convinced that all psychiatric disorders were matters of "demonic influence", and if she and her daughter just prayed hard enough, the demons would leave her. That left H feeling guilty for years about not being able to pray away her depressive episodes. (I've made some headway on convincing her that it's not her fault, it is treatable, and it can no more be "prayed away" than can her diabetes.)

You are an excellent mother who is getting her son the treatment he needs, in order to avoid some small part of the pain and suffering you had to endure. It's not your fault, nor his; sometimes, sadly, fecal matter just occurs.

I came upon this by chance when I googled neurotypical:

Outrageously Funny and Brilliant

I thought I had heard or made up all of the gastrointestinal jokes that could be written or made up but that is a new one, Deacon.

My brother was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis 4 years ago, and is finding that, like me, he is not responding to the meds that they use. In a span of 8 years, I had 12 surgeries and was hospitalized for what added up to almost a year. I finally had my large intestine and 3 feet of my small intestine removed. I still suffer the other effects of the Crohn's but have basically been in remission since. It is very hard to imagine one of your own children going through all of that.

CC, you are right. The two heavyduty meds that they use now weren't available for the general population when I was younger. One was being used on a clinical trial basis and the other wasn't being tested yet. He is so young and so full of life. He is an athlete were I was content to sit and knit or do needlework. I don't want to see it ruin that for him.

I will have a good cry when my kids' friends leave and I will deal with it and smile when he needs me to. That's all I can do.

Morning_after, I'm really not all that sweet..... really.

Last edited by blessedmom on 04 Mar 2008, 9:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

My boys thought this was a hoot! They're still laughing.

Quoting BlessedMom:

This, of course, is what all sweet people say.

Well, hopefully it wouldn't be a case of "Coyote Love"....
Just "Geriatric Love"

Last edited by Nan on 04 Mar 2008, 10:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well, righty-OH then! I'm not very sweet either! :shark-toothed grin:


How true, how true indeed!


After some recent experiences of my own, I've concluded that candour and honesty are not highly-valued commodities in these times, whereas solicitude toward others' feelings is. Therefore, as certain as God made Granny Smith apples, I'll be doing my utmost to smile through my clenched teeth and say nothing at all.

... Well, at least I'm used to that.

And finally, and in all seriousness: That's bad news about Soccerdude, Lauri. Having a mother who knows what he's going through is exactly what he needs to have. Best wishes to both of you.

Lauri - He's young. And you're probably taking it harder than he's taking it. Because you know it, you remember your own dealings with it, and because you're his mother. Because you are aware, he is that much ahead of the game. He'll be alright. You had no more control over his developing this than you did in deciding the color of his eyes or his hair.

All you can do is play 'em as they're dealt. And you'll do it well. So will he.

Lauie,

Don't feel guilty. It's not lot you rubbed your hands together and had evil thoughts .... oooh .... how can I torture my offspring .... I'll dash off to the lab and have this child genetically engineered to have Crohn's Disease.

Deacon Blues, this reminds me of a story when I was in the midst of a major depressive episode.

I'd had an extremely bad night - major anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I called a friend to drive me to the GP.

Now, I love this friend dearly but she attends a very strange church (into talking in tongues, rolling around on the floor overcome by the Lord etc).

My friend came over early, and while we were waiting until it was time to go to the appointment, she clutched my hand dramatically and said, 'Oh lord, drive out the demons that have caused this depression .... send your angels to lift up Helen etc etc'

I actually got the giggles. Here I had been comtemplating suicide, and her prayer was so ridiculous I thought it was hilarious.

Fortunately my friend was so busy praying she didn't notice, and I manage to compose myself in time.

Helen

Thank you, Smelena. That made me laugh, too! Does your friend realize she has anti-depressant properties??

isn't it funny how some people seem to think that depression is nothing more than the devil playing tricks on you.

Your story made me think of a street ministry that I used to be involved in. One night I was told that I treat the girls that I'm attracted to different from everyone else.



I asked "What makes you think that I'm attracted to them?"

"oh, it's obvious that you're attracted to them, Sam"

And then I think I asked them who I was attracted to, and they NAMED EVERY GIRL ON THE TEAM .

Now, I loved my friends there as friends, but never as friends I was attracted to.

And Lauri, I think the fact that you are so concerned with your child and his illness speaks volumes about you. I can actually see from your posts that the idea of you being a bad mother is very unlikely. You're too concerned with him to be a bad mother.

All you can do is love him and care for him. There is no way you could have prevented him from getting any sicknesses or anything.

Part of me wished I could give you a hug when I saw that, though. The fact that someone so close to you is going through this made me want to cry a little.

But I'm sure that medicine has advanced since you were his age, and will continue to advance so that he doesn't have to struggle like you did.

While I was busy being a thread hog on Sunday, Nan was hiding and thinking we didn't notice her 2 YEAR WP ANNIVERSARY! !! !! !

congradulations, Nan!!


*looks around*



Who's Nan?

Nan is my very tall, very "say it like it is" friend and the person who is going to kick me in the butt if I don't go to bed like she said I should an hour ago.

G'night!! !