31 and just self diagnosed, but some bits don't fit...?

Post Reply New Topic

Hi,

I'm Will. I just finished reading "look me in the eye" by John Elder Robertson. I was overwhelmed with happiness that there are people just like me in the world and that he, like me, has found that you can learn the softer skills in life - like looking people in the eye, chit-chat, remembering peoples names etc... I read the part at the back of the paperback that sent me to the OASIS site for Aspergers, I took the test for my Autism Quotient and scored 36. 16 was the average score for the test group, and 80% of those who scored over 32 were diagnosed with AS or Autism.

So yay! I have a name for what I am.

I don't like it when people say things like "A couple of points" and then only give one. It drives me nuts when people talk in circles without going anywhere. I am constantly distracted by noises, and if travelling in a noisy car / streetcar / subway I'm practically unable to do anything but sit in a stuper feeling anxious. I'm intelligent and a programmer, and will happily, and with relish, dive into a complex project that will keep me up for 2 days straight until it is done. Never cared about my appearence, never followed trends. I remember my mum saying dismissively that I had no sense of style. Is this all part of AS?

But some things don't fit, and I'm not sure what that means - one thing that didn't ring true, was that I'm not clumsy. I'd go as far to say I'm pretty graceful, and movement, and the way I move has always been a source of joy for me. I like running down steps two/three at a time, I like doing two things at once, like pouring a glass of wine, and going through the cupboard with my free hand while cooking. I love snowboarding and rock climbing and sliding down banisters. The latter, in public, is of course is frowned upon for a 31 year old for some reason, but I still do it. Anyone else like sliding down banisters?

The other thing that doesn't quite ring true was empathy and being able to read people. But this has two parts to it. The first is that for most of my life I couldn't read people at all well, and I think a lot of that had to do with not looking people in the eye. The second part is that, when I realized that I needed to start doing that to fit in, I suddenly found that I could accurately predict whether they were being truthful, hurtful, sarcastic - I could go as far as reading how they had been damaged in their life, predict divorces in their past etc...
The only thing is that I have to remember to use that skill. Naturally I wont use it, but when I decide to use it, it is fairly laser like, has anyone else seen this / learnt this?

Nice to meet you all, I'll call you my family.

Will

Welcome to WP!

Welcome greetings to the Wrong Planet neighborhood, fellow-traveler Will.

Hi cousin Will - welcome home!

Lots of traits "can" be indicators of AS, but they don't "have" to be - and their lack doesn't rule out an AS diagnosis. As the saying goes - "If you've seen one person with AS, you've seen one person with AS." There's a lot of variation on this here spectrum.

Hi Will! It's Chawie.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome Home!

Merle

Hello fellow GTA'er. I am jealous you can slide down banisters. It's something I've always wanted to do but my arse finds itself on the pavement instead of the banister. Sigh.

Methos?

Well, whether you're Methos or not, welcome!

Welcome.

You look pretty good in your photo for someone who says he does not care about his appearance.

Hi Will (et al)

I'm in my 50's and just been diagnosed with AS. I took an online AQ test while I was waiting for my assessment to occur (I had to wait for several months to get an appointment). I'm not trying to get into a competition but I got a 47 (out of 50) which pretty much concurred with the formal test that I did as part of the assessment. By the way, my wife scored a 3 (out of 50). So, between us we are totally AS. *lol*

There is quite a variation in overall behaviours for those on the spectrum. So, I don't think anyone will be able to tick all the boxes. I love the fact that you still feel free enough to slide down banisters without caring what people think.

One thing that seems to link most of us together is that we don't seem to have a lot of real friends (if you discount close family) that we could call on in a crisis. I know that I don't.

I also admire that you can deal with eye contact. I seem to fall into staring when I attempt that which can be unnerving for the person at the other end. So, generally, I avoid eye contact.

You say you are self-diagnosed. Have you considered getting a diagnosis? On that point, there seem to be quite a few in here that say they are undiagnosed. Anyone care to comment as to why people don't want things settled one way or the other? Are the undiagnosed scared that it may be something else?

Anyway, hi to all in here. It seems I may have found somewhere outside my family to talk to others in a similar position. Of course, this sort of medium is just made for people like us.

I'm not clumsy, never have been. I think there's different tribes to autism.

I only discovered that I might have aspergers two days ago. Though I had slowly come to realise over 31 years that I was very different and certain things that other people could do I struggled with.
In terms of diagnosis, I don't feel compelled to. I'm fairly functional and am working on improving all the parts of me that need it for me to accomplish my goals.

What would you say the benefits were? Could be there are things I haven't thought of.

Hi Will and welcome.

Last year, the doctor told me that I have NVLD but stopped short of giving me a full-blown AS diagnosis. She said I have features of AS but since I'm functioning well, it's not AS. I guess the secret to my 'functioning well' is that I work in an industry where I'm very comfortable in and where social and professional rules are quite defined, which helped me plenty in "learning" social codes and the like. I work for a newspaper, and in the news industry, love of trivia and facts, being a news junkie, lack of social life (to better follow the news), obsessive reading are all prized virtues. Characters are also welcome in the news media.

So because of all these things, my Aspie traits are not exactly seen as totally weird or disruptive and so I function well. (Some ppl would say that I'm a bit off-kilter, yes). I also have to say that some of my Aspie traits work for me and some don't and there are times when I have to compensate, for say, lack of desire to talk to people and socialize. If I work in another field, I suppose it wouldn't be as peachy for me and I might have gotten an AS diagnosis.

As to the benefits, well like I mentioned, I guess it depends on what you do, as in my case.

But if you ask my friends, they'd tell that I sometimes say the funniest things (intentional or not) and they credit it for my having NVLD/AS.

Nobody fits everything on the diagnostic criteria. I wouldn't doubt you had aspergers from your description and the fact you display hypertelorism

Goes to wiki hypertelorism...