Hello dwellers of wrongplanet.
My status as a person with ASD is very uncertain. I've been seeing many different doctors for most of my life, and have been diagnosed with Asperger's on multiple instances. Despite the initial heap of near conclusive symptoms, the psychiatrists have independently confirmed behaviors that appear to be highly inconsistent with Asperger's or other ASDs under long term observation. In addition, most of the treatments that have been attempted to support aspects in which I am deficient compared to a neurotypical have not been successful.
Up until three years ago, I was a very much a person who seemed to pay no mind to things that were not relevant to his own internal world. It was at this point that my understanding of my surroundings and the people around me had hit critical mass and I was capable of making progress. With this new skill also came the absolutely crushing realization of things I have not previously understood. For most of my life I was punished for reasons I did not understand, and being able to reevaluate memories of all the embarrassing, useless, and immoral things I have done or been a part of drove me to attempt suicide.
Things have vastly improved for me. I can seamlessly integrate with neurotypicals in most social settings provided I avoid my weaknesses. Previously, the implications and ambiguity of my condition combined with naivety has blinded me with denial. I am attempting to come to terms with why I have extreme difficulty with some tasks that should be simple to a human being of my age, for I can no longer afford to not treat it as a threat to my well-being.
I am currently 19 years old, and a computer science student.
Normally I would not be so arrogant as to pollute the internet with information about an unimportant person's life, but I think I can forgive myself for making that imposition only once.
06 Jul 2009, 12:12 pm
