Hi, I'm new and looking for some advice.

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Hi, I’m new and I’m looking for some advice. Apologies in advance for the long post:

I’ve always known that I was ‘different’ to my peers, but until a few weeks ago I had never heard of Asperger’s syndrome. That changed when I read a newspaper article about the computer hacker Gary McKinnon, which included a list of symptoms and character traits associated with the condition.

It all sounded remarkably similar to my own situation. This sparked my curiosity and I began to research further, reading from a variety of sources including this website and I’m now fairly sure that I’m an undiagnosed Aspie.

Since my teenage years I’ve always struggled to make and maintain friendships with other people. At school I hung around with a group of kids who, although I got on well enough with them, I didn’t seem share the same bond with them as the others had with each other. I was the black sheep of the group who was tolerated rather than liked and was rarely invited to social gathering or parties. Even now at the age of 22 I don’t really have any close friends and I’ve never had a proper girlfriend.

I was bullied a lot at school and even now I still tend to be the butt of the office jokes, although this is good natured rather than malicious.

I’m awful in social situations and I never know what to say or how to act. On the rare occasions my colleagues convince me to venture out for the evenings I always find myself propping up the bar while everyone else is off enjoying themselves. I try to join in with the dancing and drunken banter but it just seems so false, like I just don’t belong there.

In addition to my poor social skills I’m incredibly clumsy. I’m always bumping into things and tripping over stuff.

When I speak I tend to use big words and speak in a more formal manner than others. I often say things without thinking and I’ve been known to upset of offend people in this way without meaning to. I also have a habit of speaking for too along about certain subjects oblivious to the annoyance or boredom of others. People also complain because I take too much of what I hear literally and I’m often told I need to ‘lighten up’.

My other Aspie-like traits are that I’m very sensitive to noise and temperature. If I’m reading in my bedroom and my sister in the room next door puts on some music, even though it’s barely audible, I find it so distracting I have to stop. Also the temperature range at which I feel comfortable is very narrow, with extreme hot or cold temperatures causing a lot of annoyance.

With regard to obsessions, while I don’t have a single great obsession, I do get obsessive over seemingly random topics. It usually begins with something I’ve read or seen on TV which sparks an interest. This interest then evolves into a thirst for knowledge that lasts several weeks before it passes.

I tend to be good at problem solving and I analyze everything. When I’m watching a TV show I’m always questioning the character’s actions and picking holes in the plot. It’s now at the stage where people do not want to watch things with me because I ‘ruin it’ for them.

I’m also not remotely interested in most of the things ‘normal’ people obsess over. For example I’m not on any social networking sites, I have no desire to sunbathe or ‘top up my tan’ and I couldn’t care less what I’m wearing or what my hair looks like.

I could list a lot more but your all probably bored of reading by now.

So does this sound like AS? If anyone will know it’s the people on this site.

Also, is it worth seeking a formal diagnosis? It may help to explain my ‘odd’ behaviour to others, but I do not want to be stigmatised. For those who were diagnosed as an adult, was it a weight off your shoulders or another burden?

For the record I’m not desperate to seek a diagnosis, but it would be nice to remove the doubt. I’ve accepted who I am and I’m certainly not looking to be cured. I’ve always said to people who question my behaviour that I’d rather by ‘unique’ than ‘normal’.

Many thanks for taking the time to read this and I appreciate any replies.

You certainly sound like an Aspie, given your symptoms. If a diagnosis is available to you, I'd say go for it, just so there's no doubt and to maybe learn some coping skills that you haven't thought of before. Be warned though: Not all psychiatrists and psychologists are equally able to offer an informed analysis as to whether you have it or not. Some don't even fully understand what Aspergers IS. So you may have to shop around a bit. Ask questions to be sure the one you're talking to is informed and qualified to tell you if you have it or not BEFORE you write any checks out.

Welcome!

I'm just an NT mother of a couple of sons on the spectrum, but what you describe sounds very much like everyone on WrongPlanet.

I'm curious what others would say, but at your stage of life, I think understanding Asperger's and suspecting that you probably have it would be more than enough information. The diagnosis itself would just verify everything, but it wouldn't change anything. I could be wrong, though.

Knowing what you know now, though, would allow you to look into things more in depth, and read, and find out more about the whole situation.

To WrongPlanet!! !

I too have a very high "klutz factor" and had a very large vocabulary despite the fact I was speaking
rather late compared to other kids....

For more about me hit my blog button....

Welcome aboard, cadet!

You may hear a lot of naysaying about whether a self-diagnosed Aspie should seek official diagnosis, but typically, the older you are when you discover your ASD, the more relieved you'll probably be to discover that that feeling of oddness and alienation that may have plagued you all your life wasn't your fault.

Most important, depending on what country you live in, an official diagnosis can qualify you for various types of public assistance, like (in the US) SSI disability. At your age that may not seem like a big deal now, but depending on how AS affects your ability to fit into the workplace, it may be of critical importance as you get older.

Welcome to WP!

I would get a diagnosis just to have the knowledge & the load "off your shoulders" (as in "do I have or not?" be gone). Make sure you find a good psychiatrist (not a rip off) ask if they have ever worked w/ & or diagnosed people on the spectrum b4. Check if they have only done kids, etc. Whether you disclose the info at work, to family & friends or others is entirely up to you. But I would suggest any partners or people you live with now or in the future be informed so you don't shock them if you ever (hopefully you will never have any extreme symptoms) have some sort of meltdown. It would also help anyone you live w/, etc. understand your distance in relationships.

Welcome greetings to the WP neighborhood, fellow-traveler Artkitten. Yes, for me, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders with the diagnosis.

Welcome to WP!

Knowledge is good.

Thanks for the replies and the warm welcome guys.

I'll certainly be looking into how to get a diagnosis.