I am a 14 year old male of Indian descent who has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome since the age of 13. I find it very difficult to read body language, or engage in social interactions for more than a few minutes. Even though I am technically a teenager, I prefer to stay in the company of either very young kids, or old folks. I have been cyber bullied, bullied in real life, and tormented. I stick out apart from the rest of people, in my personality and in my physique, as I am quite lanky, and nothing in me resembles the trait- stocky at all. I have often ventured to forums where I can share my input on events and information. These forums have sometimes been quite extreme in the opinions that are featured in them. Anything, ranging from a forum about cartoons and cartoon discussion solely, mens' rights, animals' rights, and everything betwixt. I recently left a forum about mens' rights and was given a rude farewell, so much that I decided never to side with mens' rights activists again. The events have shattered my life, and have sent me into a deep, bottomless chasm of depression. I don't think I'll ever recover from the hateful ADHD comments I recieved when I announced I was leaving from that forum in a subtle, indirect way. I don't like reading books all that much, but have recently been captivated by Charles Dickens, a classic author who is famous for his flexibility in the English language. It is from his books that I try to expand my vocabulary, beyond the realms of an ordinary person. Alas, my English language skills have lacked for the past few years as I am pressured to keep a slim, easy vocabulary, especially around my peers. I used to despise my expansive vocabulary and writing skills, but now I hold on to them like an island with fresh springs of water, lost in the salty, poisonous oceans. I long to be unique again, I long to have that deep, brooding, mysterious personality about me. I long for people to notice only the tip of the iceberg, and wonder about the rest of the ice, forever lost under water. My relationship with other autistic kids who had a more severe form of autism, was not very pleasant at first. I was kicked, scratched, bitten, and followed by some of them. I soon realized though, that when I was diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum, that I shared a special connection with these kids. I admired their courage, their ability to be more nice and kind then the average neurotypical, and I wonder sometimes, why can't everyone in the world be taught to be as nice as them? I have had negative experiences with neurotypicals, until this year, when people realized my Aspergers Syndrome. I find that neurotypicals should share a mutual relationship with autistic people. We should both learn from each other, as autistic people have a lot to teach to neurotypicals, and vice versa. As I finish up this post, I will most likely be posting in the kids' sections from now on, because although I am a teenager, I have the mentality of a kid.
30 Jul 2009, 8:51 am
