mra1200 wrote:
Score: 37
Wow, you're higher than me!
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ADD (no H) DX came in 2001.
Well, please don't take me as a jackass but... purely "technically", ADD no longer exists. It's all ADHD now (crazy, no? I agree). No worries; your Dx was in 2001 when ADD still existed. No harm, no foul. Update the schema and move forward.
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MMPI came back invalid that same year, during a point in my life where everything fell apart and I couldn't function for a couple years. Why I didn't kill myself then is beyond me.
I'm sorry to hear that, man. Memphis Multiphasic Meh, it should be called. I know it backwards and forwards. I've personally scored hundreds of MMPIs in particular (amongst other "pigeonholing" tests) back in the days of vinyl overlays (rather than computers). If the MMPI comes back "invalid" it means you failed the "F" scale. I don't really want to go into that further. Especially if this made you want to off yourself! All I can say is I'm sorry about that and that tests are tests and are only guidelines. They are not indicative of
YOU as a person!
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1991 is when I found out about how much my mother drank when she was pregnant with me.
You seem pretty sharp now though! Maybe I'm way off base, but it sounds like you were strong enough to overcome that part! Sorry if I sound like I'm belittling; I really just don't know the details.
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Guess it seemed like a good thing to share when i was in rehab, why she thought I was having a drinking problem in high school.
Och! Crap, man, you've hit one of the guys who can certainly relate to you about a drinking issue. Alcoholism is no joke. I struggle with it today, even. I don't pity you; I relate to you, my brother.
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Took some psychological testing in middle school (mid 80's) that said two things that stuck out at me. One was a severe inability to understand cause/effect relationship sequences. The other was that there was a fear of sociopathic behavior in me.
Oh gawd... no, no, no, man. Psych tests,
especially 80's psych tests are all geared towards certain things with certain agendas. This was the era of pop psychology and Duran Duran. (actually, I miss Duran Duran...) But anyhow, discount that crap totally. You don't ring sociopathic to me and you might just be mistaking your general AS ennui as sociopathy and spuriously blaming yourself for something you are not! So what if you don't have feelings for your "fellow man". This is not at all unusual amongst us to have difficulty in making a "connection" there.
If it really bugs you, find out what you are
NOW as opposed to 20 years ago. There is a lot more knowledge out there and a lot more information.
And please hang around. I feel some kind of connection to you. Don't blame yourself. Don't blame your mom. Your test scores make it pretty likely that you've found your home and your people. This is who... no, this is
what you are. And it ain't too bad a group to belong to!