Hi. I'm trying to find out what's wrong with me

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I don't know if I have Asperger's or not.

I am 50 years old and have had trouble socially my whole life.
As a kid I was bullied from kindergaten through high school, and always considered wierd, "odd", and "different".

I have always been very clumsy and was terrible at any kind of "ball" games.
Not bragging, but my IQ is in the gifted range which is probably why, I at least have been able to have a successful career.

I am uncomfortable in social situation, hate parties and don't have a clue as to how to make "small talk" with people or just "hang out" like normal people do. And I seem to only be able to talk about the things that I have passionate interest in(mathematics, birdwatching, and certain TV shows).

When I was younger I couldn't make eye contact with people(this has improved over the years). I also have been able to be successfully married to my wife for 18 years, and my marriage is fine and my wife is the one person that I know for sure actually likes me.

I don't know how many or if I really have any friends. It's hard for me to tell, and I basically assume that most people I know don't like me and then I am not disappointed that way. I can be around people when I need to work with them to accomplish a task but can't seem to be able to just "hang" out and socialise with people.

I don't know if I have aspergers or if I have social anxiety disorder and adhd?

We sound like twins.

You sure sound like an Aspie. And there's nothing "wrong" with you. I know sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but everybody has their problems and shortcomings. As long as you're happy, that's all that matters, right?

Greetings, fellow-traveler notsureifiam, and welcome to the Wrong Planet community.

I think I probably am an aspie. I haven't been formally diagnosed and don't even know if I want to be.

I try to focus on the positive things in my life. Depsite the problems I have socially, I am relatively sucessful and have been happily married for 18 years. My wife really loves me and puts up with my "quirks" (though she will mildly scold me from time to time when she thinks my behaviour is too odd like when I go on and on talking about one of my interests that other people may find boring.

I am coming to terms with my uncomfortableness socially and accept that I am never going to be a "popular" person in any setting or probably may never feel comfortable just "kicking back" and "hanging out" with other people or making "small talk".

To WrongPlanet!! !

My life was a lot like that too. Lots of potential, but none of it realised. Lots of minor discrimination, which I did my best to ignore.

Lots of running away and starting again.

Then, at 52, along came aspergers to help explain things. The only sad part is that none of it helps very much.

Try to read the threads in General Autism Discussion. They are very useful. And in the end even if you find out you don't have Asperger's, you will still understand yourself more.

Welcome home.

Finding WrongPlanet was a total integrative epiphany for me. A lot of us invented tricks to work around our peculiar brain wiring, and either didn't fully realize how different we were, or else we did but we fooled other people pretty well.

Understanding what's really going on in our brains can help us resolve our problems in completely different ways.

Don't get caught up in the labels. If the insights work for you, go with it.

What you describe sounds like a lot that I can relate to, and my first thought from the title is that it's imprecise to refer to the condition as something wrong, rather it's just different. For myself, I think I fit the criterea, but my thought is - what's the value in diagnosis at this point? All it would do for me is give me a label, which I already may find that I think I fit and can use the info to try learning new ways of adapting my differences anyway.

I'm running behind this morning and need to be running ahead! Wish I had time to say more...