Overwhelmed

Post Reply New Topic

My son was diagnosed with asperger's a few years back. I've been recently studying it and realized that I may also have this. Reading the symptoms and other peoples stories was almost shocking as it described me to a T. Of course this is only my observations of myself, so may not be accurate.

I've always known something was wrong with me. I was diagnosed as bipolar years ago, but I discontinued the medication after two years, as it didn't help, and only made a huge mess of my life. I've avoided the mental health field ever since. I never felt like I fit in, and have never really fit in anywhere. Friends last usually as long as my latest obsession keeps me in a club or interest group.

My biggest problem that I've been struggling to address for the last couple years is that my marriage deteriorated and I am now divorced. My ex-wife is basically a non-functioning addict and is not present in my kids life, other then a phone call here and there. I have full custody of my two boys, and my daughter is in a care home (severe cp). The hard to admit truth is I often feel I don't have the tools at hand to raise my kids as whole people.

For two years I have been their sole caregiver. I struggle with being there for them. While I am always physically present, I don't seem to be able to be emotionally present. I also struggle with finding a balance between doing my projects and meeting their needs. Knowing my 13 year old has aspergers and has special needs adds to my worries that I'm not able to give him what he needs. To make matters worse, my family lives in a different city and while my dad is able to help me out on an emergency basis, no one offers me help of any sort. Her family lives in the city but are also not in the kid's lives.

I don't have any close friends, and can't really seem to make any. I have a lot of acquaintances and can hold conversations quite well with them, but if I don't call people, they never call me. It's so frustrating trying to develop a social life without knowing how, while being unavailable most of the time because of the children. I have dated a couple girls, but at some point I kinda lose interest and stop calling them.

I have a good job as a database developer, and work for a health services provider. I have been there for many years and the people know me and accept me for who I am. Money isn't an issue that I should need to worry about, but I always do, as I really suck at managing it, and usually resort to not spending, you know, just to make sure I have it when I need it.

I used to spend a lot of time in online bbs and forums. It took a lot of the pressure of socializing off, but I seem to shy away from even that now. It's still too easy to say stupid stuff and my flameproof underwear seems to have worn thin.

I welcome any tips and advice and look forward to meeting people that are in the same situation. Maybe I can even be of some help to someone else.

Hello, Kaen.

You know, there's nothing wrong with you (at least, not where Asperger's is related).

You just have a difference whose exact nature you did not know.

Had you known the nature of this difference, things would not have happened in the same way. They may have been hard, maybe, but other people (and yourself) could have found better ways to manage it.

I hope you (and I, 'cause I'm new here, too) find some good friends here, who will support you and spend some good time with you, as well.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.
This place has helped me more than anything in my life.

My marriage fell apart last year.
That's always awful, no matter how it goes.

Where are you? I'm in New Jersey.
Support groups can be helpful.
If you are near a major city, you might find one.

Thanks for replying Tahitiii and Icecypher. I'm in Saskatchewan Canada. I'm not sure of resources in the community yet. The city I live in isn't very big. My son has a special aid at school that works with him, and it was actually her that facilitated the diagnosis, as he was originally diagnosed bipolar also.

I'm a little scared to go to anyone with my problems. I have sole custody of my children and I'm scared that this information can and will be used against me. Although at this point I don't think my ex is interested in caring for the children.

I'm going to poke around and try to find some resources. I'd like to hear from anyone that is a parent with aspergers. I feel that I need help coping with all that is going on. I'm managing my life, but feel like i'm on autopilot. Everything goes good until there is a bump, and then it feels like it all falls back apart.

Hello, and welcome to the Wrong Planet community, kaen.

hi there ,
im pete from the uk . if it makes you feel any better i feel exactly the same as you , ive always known that im different from most people but could never put a finger on it , then 3 years ago my son (mini me) was born , me and my now ex partner started to notice that something wasn't right , after a lot of stress we got the answers we were looking 4 . now my son has been dignosed ASD probably aspergers , during one of his speech therapy sessions , i asked his therapist what is the likley outcome when he becomes an adult , she started naming different people with asperger syndrome and the efects it has on them in adulthood ie bill gates ,as she explained i had a eureka moment , she basicaly explained me and the way i beahave , im new to the site and would apreciate any help from anyone . please excuse my typing and spelling im also dyslexic

Hi pete. Thanks for responding. I still doubt my abilities to raise my kids well rounded, but reading this site has eased my anxieties somewhat. There is some real useful stuff in here. This new self awareness has really shown me my weak areas and given me ideas on how to work on them.

Welcome to WP!

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome