Northern California newb

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Joined: 1 Nov 2008
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 2

20 Sep 2009, 6:55 pm

Hello, all.

I'm Jennie, mom to one (soon-ish to be two). I've held an account for some time, but never jumped in. Lately I've been struggling more with social-problem-driven self esteem issues, and luckily remembered this safe haven.

I've never been officially diagnosed, and in fact didn't know a thing about AS until a bit over a year ago. I read about the ways in which in manifests in different people, and it just all... clicked. Audibly. Eye contact. Problems reading body language. Grasping at conversational threads. Lack of empathy. Trouble with voice modulation. Clumsiness. Very easily overstimulated. Intolerance of change in plans or routine. I took a few informal spectrum tests -- never near NT.

So I was shocked, to say the least. But after years of deep-down believing myself to be an irreversibly damaged (bad, even? crazy?) person, reinforced by misunderstanding, frustrated, misguidedly pushy parents and teachers, it was incredibly lightening to have what was in all likelihood The Answer.

My husband is, if not exactly unsupportive, then maybe unaccepting. Discussing it seems to make him uncomfortable. The fact that I don't in the slightest enjoy group social gatherings or the loud bars where he plays with his band really irks him, and he thinks that by goading me into going often enough, I'll "learn." Uh, dear? I've been trying that for 38 years now!

I'm very glad to have the chance of some sympathetic ears (eyes?) here.

Cheers,
Jennie