Hey. A little (ps. make it a big one..) introduction as to why I'm here...
I stumbled upon this place while looking for information about Aspergers. When i found out about it, it felt kind of like reading a description of myself. I have four siblings, two NTs (that's what i should call them if they don't have Autism or Aspergers, right) on my mother's side and two with autism on my father's side. After asking around it turned out my grandmother's (on my father's side) brother had autism and that my father's cousin has Aspergers. So i "got it in my blood", so to speak. No offense.
I used to see a therapist because i had problems working and socializing with other children in elementary school. I also got bullied a lot because i was... different, kind of? Throughout my childhood and teenage life I've never felt the need to be sociable with other children. I've done things I've wanted to do on my own and I've let few things get in that way. School has been... well, a hassle at times and a breeze at other times. Maths and science has been especially hard for me. I've pretty much coasted through everything else without the need to study or even paying attention in class. In English courses I've even rated better than all of my teachers save one (though I've rationalized that swedish english teachers are subpar by default).
Also as I've grown up I have always felt disconnected to other children in my age group. Sometimes I thought it was that I felt superior to them because I have above-average IQ or because I'm otherwise "better" than them in games or school performances (especially since I've never had to actually work for my grades), but I've always felt that superiority wasn't the real issue since I've envied some things about these "inferior" people, especially their ability to work socially. Some of my friends who have about equal IQ have a lot better social skills than me.
Oh, and i write a lot. I mean, a lot. It started after i began to read fictional books... i believe my first was The Belgariad by Eddings when I was eight years old. I can write for hours on end... resource material, character portraits, country statistics and stuff... When i don't write stuff, i read a lot. Alternatively i listen to audio books or watch movies. When I'm not doing any of the previously mentioned I play video games. My first console was a SNES with Super Mario World. I tend to get extremely absorbed in whatever thing i'm doing. So multitasking isn't my kind of thing.
After I read about Aspergers I thought the problem might be that I didn't understand these kids... and it made sense. Many of my friends go out on weekends and drink. Nothing wrong about that, not really. I personally hate it, but that's because I don't understand why they do it. To me, it's illogical. In fact, much about the way my peers behave seems illogical even though it's probably the social norm.
I don't have very good social skills of my own, but I mimic the social skills of my friends so I can get by on a day to day basis. Personally I have no idea at all how to begin a conversation and talk to someone. To say the obvious, that hasn't worked out well for any prospecting love affairs... it's not that i don't have the courage, I just don't know what to do. It's as if someone would ask me to speak Chinese.
Well I'm gonna try to not drag on. What I'm trying to say, basically, is that I didn't know what the heck was wrong with me until i stumbled upon Aspergers. It seems to be the answer i've been looking for all of my life, and even then I'm unsure if I have it since I haven't had a professional diagnosis. I understand some people actually want to have Aspergers as if it was some kind of club, but I'm not delusional enough to assume or pretend I'm sick (excuse my choice of words, no offense meant) just to get friends or... social benefits. W/e it may be.
I'm here because I think I might have Aspergers. I'm here because I think that's what have been causing all the trouble in my life.
So... Hi, i guess. Nice to be here.
30 Sep 2009, 1:57 pm
Welcome to WP. Jump into the fun. 
