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My name is Andrew and Im a 31 year old man with High Functioning autism. Originally I thought I had Aspergers Syndrome because many of my behaviors are like AS but I was diagnosed with Classic Autism at 23 at UCLA because of speech delay as a young child.

Education and School

Elementary school and High School was torture for me. I couldn’t connect with the kids and didn’t know why. I ate alone and walked alone during breaks and lunch breaks. I wasn’t very good at sports either. I felt very bad about this and depressed and often though about killing myself.

I’ve had cruel teachers who thought I was stupid but it wasn’t the case. I wasn’t a very good student and I was quiet. The students to would often call me ret*d because I was bad fine motor abilities and of my bad grades. I tested above average in all of the intelligence tests.

Things even got harder when I started noticing girls. I was shy and rarely ever spoke with the girls I found attracted. I was often accused of being gay and was often called a “fag”.
I didn’t really like revealing myself to be heavily into girls because I was scared the kids might call me a stalker or a pervert. So I often to the disguised myself as being “Asexual”. I never talked about my sexual interests. Sometimes I wish I could tell the girls at school that I was attracted to them.

At 16 I passed a High School Equivalency Exam and received a certificate so I could leave High School early and go on to Junior College. At 19 I transferred to Long Beach State and received a diploma in Anthropology.

I haven’t pursued a career in Anthropology but instead I am in the Information Technology field because of my love of computers.

Employment

I have a long employment history but haven’t really gotten along very well with the people at work. I have often been the victim of office politics where I would get the least challenging assignments, although I could do better than these, and was often layed off first before anyone else. I have been layed off for about a year and a half since my last real job.


Diagnoses


I didn’t know I was really on the autistic spectrum until I was 23. Up until that point I thought that autistics were either mentally ret*d or have special powers like memorizing entire phone books. I don’t fit into any of these classifications. I have an above average IQ and don’t have savant abilities. Hollywood seems to champion the savants and mentally challenged but never just the average high functioning autistic or “Aspies”.

I found out about AS and HFA through the internet. Many of the same things I went through these people went through. So after 20 or so years of going to counseling I found the answer to my problems and not the psychologists I went to. Psychologists are overrated they just sit there and listen and not offer solutions.

So after making this discovery I went to get diagnosed at UCLA.


Women

I think about women all the time. I have never had a girlfriend, nor have I ever been on a date, or even have a romantic kiss with a girl. My skills with communicating to women that I am attracted to are terrible. It is always been this way. I also get very nervous and shaky and have a bad time initiating eye contact with pretty women who I don’t know. When I am at a public place and I see a woman passing by I get nervous and my whole body stiffens which causes me to walk funny. It is embarrassing because I look stupid that way. I am scared I will die and never have a romantic relationship with a woman.

Social Life

I have had a very empty social life. It is hard for me to meet people and I don’t really know what to say in a conversation. My mind draws blanks when I hear people in groups talking about stuff. I tend to be very quiet and keep to myself. I get a lot of heat for being quiet by people and wish they would leave me alone and accept me for who I am. I still wish though I could talk to people because it would make my life more enjoyable.

Conclusion

Well, thats me in a nutshell. Hopefully some of you can relate to the crap I’ve gone through in life.

Im Ghosthunter, and I am HFA too!
I will return in a minute!! !

Welcome to WrongPlanet. I am one of the
HFA'rs here. I joined and I hope you
enjoy your stay here. Most of the folks
are Asperger's, and misclanteous mixes
that will sometimes awe you , and othertimes
Grrr! you.


I am wordy as you are, and can say meanings
can get lost in too many words in a post,
so my advice is to watch how they edit, talk
and eventually they will warm to you(Hmm?).

I have found some good people her and some
that won't give you the time of day. They
will find you, be patient. I found this site,
(if you look at my past posts) very-
very-good. I have decoded much stuff from
within myself, and from your writings you
will too!. I gave some darker samples, and
trust me you will enjoy your time here.

For now I will let you think about what I said,
because I can overwhelm people with my
analyical brain. Enjoy

The part about walking and eating alone in school sounds like me as well as the part about being called a fag. But I got good grades.

My case of...whatever I have...is not very sever really, so I've learned to deal with it.

Hi Andrew, I can relate to many points from your introduction, though not to all, of course. I list these similarities below. I think I am a mild case of AS, but I haven't been diagnosed.

1. I was very withdrawn at school. I couldn't connect with other kids, but thought that it was normal (I did not understand concepts of friendships or hanging out). I was teased and bullied, often beaten up, epecially in the elementary school. No one called me ret*d though, because I was a very good student.

2. I never was good at sports, and was teased because of this as well. I especially hated team games.

3. In high school I had a buddy who was gay, and he thought that I was too. Not being a gay, I wasn't interested in a relationship with him, and this ended our acquaintance. During high school years girls weren't really on my mind, and on occasion I openly expressed my bewilderment over an attraction to the opposite sex , so I guess this explains my buddy's mistake.

4. Computers are the only entities on this world that I understand easily. I have a degree in computer science and work as a programmer.

5. I left my previous (and first) job, because social atmosphere around me got too dense. My employer valued my skills and didn't want to let me go, but I just had enough of the situation where even newly-hired employees were avoiding me.

6. I can't memorize entire phone books, nor even my own phone number.

7. I never had a girlfried, nor even attempted to date, before I turned 33. One day I admitted to myself the hard truth that I would live my life alone. Six days later my dear Hilary has found me.

8. My social life is mostly nonexistent. Imagine talking to a live person once a month. Now, of course, I spend a lot of time with Hilary. During last year I also learned how to communicate with people online.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, Andrew!

Welcome to WP, Andrew!