Am I in the spectrum? Someone please help?

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I never thought of of my incessent picking at my face, arms, anywhere could be stimming. but I've always done it, and even when I become aware of it, I can't seem to stop. I line up the items on the table before me, neatly and balanced in order of size, usually. I require symetry. I have severe tantrums, born of sheer frustration, pull my hair, punch myself. attempted suicide several times. I'm being treated for bi-polar disorder, I guess because I often get really 'buzzed' and creative and have... "delusions" of spiritual connectedness (yeh, whatever they reckon!) and feel 'special', and get caught up in one 'eureka moment' after the other. I consider myself intelligent, and love to learn. But my social paranoias and anxieties are well covered up by my quick wit humour and good communication skills. If i get caught picking at my face, I switch to picking at my nails and cuticles. Music fills me with all sorts of wonderfully clear images, though they are more symbolic of the movements of the instruments than like "movies". But my day and night dreams are often brilliant epics or graphic horror movies, depending on.... well, I'm not really sure. Music is not linear, but spacial in every way, multi dimensional. I am good at english and love to play with words. I am hopeless at maths but love to play with, and find patterns in, numbers. I like prime numbers best. I also get night terrors, and my poor husband gets hit and kicked and sworn at while I'm STILL ASLEEP! As a child I was a loner, self-conscious of everything must mostly my spotty picked-at face, read a lot, and entertained myself with great imaginings, but masterbated from the age of about four years. some say "thats impossible" I can say for a fact they are wrong. Others say I must have been abused, but I remember the fisrt time, and I WAS ALONE FOR SURE! In my teens and twenties I was VERY promiscuios and took any kind of drug or drink on offer at the time. So, what do you think? Am I autistic, bi-polar, both, none, or just a sad little basket case? I have ALWAYS felt a strong connection to God and special to him. As an an adult, I am a Christian, though I spent many years examining the occult for what ever truths it might hold.

Last edited by jillsky on 20 Jan 2010, 11:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome to WP!

Social paranoias and anxiety does NOT equal autism. You also say your communication is perfect, which is another strike against that possibility. I would say probably not to autism, but you would have to see a specialist for that. You do sound bipolar either way though.

Social anxieties are among the most common symptoms of AS.

My communication is perfect, and I'm autistic as hell, in what way does that mean anything? Grandin says there's an entire classification of Aspers whose pathology specifically centers around words and language. Another bent toward math & music, then those who 'think in pictures' and some crossover between categories.

Still, many of the behaviors mentioned have little or nothing to do with autism, but do indicate clear dysfunction. Sounds as though the bipolar diagnosis is a good place to start, but there seems to be more going on than just that. However jillsky, if you're seeing a professional already, I don't know how you expect to get a clearer diagnosis from speculating amateurs.

Social anxiety does not equal autism either one. Some people that come here seem to be under the impression that having social anxiety = social problems in the context of autism, which is not true.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Social anxiety also does not rule out autism. The two are not mutually exclusive. Saying "if you have SA, then you do not have AS" doesn't make sense.

Hello jillsky, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

To WrongPlanet!! !