"Hi, I'm new!" (EDIT: Includes Questions )

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I'm so tempted to leave this post as "Hi, I'm the new guy. I have Aspergers Syndrome" etc. as I am new to the whole idea of discussing Aspergers Syndrome-related topics on a forum but, for my sake, I'll make an effort. Hello, everyone! I'm Etular (Real name kept anonymous)! I've been diagnosed for about 4 years now, and life has been incredibly difficult since then (arguably, though, it has been somewhat easier). I have a passionate interest in Computing and, being in my Early Teen/Mid Teen years, I have chose the risky option of trying to learn the C# Scripting language from a 1000 page book. Other books I have read (and attempted to read) are the Three Kingdoms novel about Ancient Chinese history and Niccolo Machiavelli's "The Prince" (Attempted to read, but even my complex mind has it's limits).

Overall, I'm a very shy but polite person (even at school, I open doors open for everyone...) with superb grades, never disobedient but, strangely enough, have very few friends... I am, to be quite blunt, quite a hideous-looking individual with an arrogant side (which is never shown at school), however, and am not afraid no express my opinion. On the otherhand, I am never violent towards anyone (unless they have angered me to the point where I lose my refined guise/personality) - and that is where my weakness mostly lies (Other than social communication, ofcourse). Most people who know me (Mostly family) also know me as an individual who is brutally honest, even at the most inappropriate of times, and is proud of it - but would never disobey a rule or law. I think the thing that drew me here is the fact that I spend so much time observing and pondering over everything that is happening around me and, yet, I feel as if I can do nothing as the world just passes me by... Quite honestly, I need guidance. As for why, I'll explain below.

My situation stands (Secondary School-wise) as me being a very shy, polite person. Due to these qualities, I was previously mocked by most people. The school's Special Needs department stepped in and pretty much fixed all that. Since then, I seem to have attracted a following of rather unfaithful "friends" that I feel I cannot trust. I had a chance to change that and befriend another group of people, but made the wrong choice as I was convinced to stay with the current group. I constantly look back on that choice with great sadness. Anyway, to continue, I'm too obedient and too polite to be assertive and put forward my own view, I often find myself ignored or talked to in a basic attitude by "friends" who think AS is some form of MR, due to a scenario that happened about a year back I have been removed from PE - and my health is failing quickly, I stutter alot socially, I have no "best" friend (And no-one considers me theirs) and, most importantly, my over-protective parents pretty much prohibit me from going outside (well, they do it in such a way so that I fear the outdoors. While all my friends are "hanging out", I am on the computer wondering why I can't do the same - then imagine that, if I went outside, a group of yobs might come alot and smash my face in). My parents don't realise what effect this is actually having. I have a night light out of fear of the likes of Yobs breaking in, I fear yobs as a whole etc. Even if a group of three or so young children are walking alone, I would cross the road (Or walk very quickly past them) specifically to avoid groups of people. So, in a way, I am overly paranoid. The one thing I hate most is when friends say "Oh, me and such-and-such went to such-and-such yesterday. It was great" etc. because I know I can't. I seriously want to change that, but I don't know how.

Too long; Didn't read:

If you want to know about me: Read First and Second Paragraph.

If you want to read about/help me with my problems: Read Third Paragraph (Please, for my sake, read the Third Paragraph. I could really use some answers...).

Last edited by Etular on 21 Jan 2010, 3:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Welcome to the planet homie!! I know where your coming from. i used to be just like you man until I finally discovered how to be angry and violent. Im assuming a Yob is some kind of European slang for criminals?

Thanks.



Yob = Chav = "Gangsta" type person that will specifically go out of their way to bother others. They often speak with a specific accent saying phrases like "(Are) Yer startin'?!" and "Awez!".

If you want, check out Urban Dictionary's results for the word "Chav" or "Yob".

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, Etular!

Don't worry about being a chav... or gangster...

Oh well, I only think you're too cool, you may feel helpless... so do I. Perhaps you may need a few friends...

Don't worry, you'll eventually find a few friends here. Good luck!

Thank you all, but...

Meh, I may have confused a few people here. I am in no way a "chav", nor do I hang around with them. Infact, I'm pretty much scared to death of any groups (including small groups of young children) because I instantly think chavs are associated with groups. What I'm trying to say above is that this fear, along with overly protective parents and the Special Needs department in my school being very powerful, it has literally crippled my social life and made my image the most hated yet least self-conscious person in school. The truth is, I am incredibly self-conscious - I'm just so shy I never get a chance to show it. My problem? i merely feel like I can do nothing but sit back and let the world go by me...

Physically, I'm chubby. Socially, I'm terrible, Mentally - I'm one of the most academically smart people in the top set in the public school that I go to. So, I more or less am asking for help socially and physically. I hear about how everyone "goes downtown", "goes to a park" or "goes to a scenic area by a lake" with their friends - and yet, I'm not allowed to step a foot outside of my house after school hours. I'm fully jealous, yet I do see the reasoning. I need help overcoming that reasoning.

Welcome to WP!

Hello Etular, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Not to worry, my parents lock me inside their house as I am also unable... and surprisingly, I accept it.

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

Don't be scared. Perhaps your parents are too scared of your safety. Why not just surf the Net instead? Your parents must have their own reasons...

Welcome to Wrong Planet Etular!
So, your parents won't let you set foot outside aside from school? And even if they did you would be too scared, is that right? Because of the fear they've instilled in you? Have you tried talking to your parents about this? Sit them down and tell them you need them to listen to you, that you understand they are concerned for your safety but going to such extreme lenghts as banning you from leaving the house is not the answer and is going to screw you up for life. Even if you don't think they'll listen, people can surprise you, you don't always know how people will react. Make notes of everything you want to say and make them listen to you and discuss it with you.
Maybe you could see a psychologist too and talk about your agoraphobia, and about your parents. Just talking about your situation may help. I assume you're already on anxiety medication?
I really hope you situation gets better. Good luck.

Thank you, and Thanks to everyone else who has previously welcomed me.



Fully correct. Not to blame them (as I am relatively sure they are trying to give me "what's best for me"), but their thoughts on what would happen if I were to go down-town (not to mention the wickedness I have seen in my Neighbourhood - such as people who are openly hostile to everyone but their select groups) have scared me so much (because, in my mind, it could be somewhat likely - what makes down-town different from what my Neighbourhood is like? How do I know I won't get beaten half-to-death by teenage thugs?) that I fear to step even a few feet outside my front gate - as if I had the option to do so...



Not yet, but I plan to. Most times I have brought something similar up they have just said "No" and disregarded everything else I say as illogical, rubbish or, in rare cases, logical - yet makes no difference. I'm almost certain that they know what fear they've instilled in me, as often when I speak to them about such matters involving the outdoors they say "Okay then, you go out. See what I care." Knowing full well that I will not be able to step outside that garden gate due to fear.



I used to previously go to a Psychologist a few years ago, but that was ended eventually due to me refusing to make an attempt to get rid of my phobia of the dark. Ofcourse, what I wouldn't tell the psychologist is that that phobia was, also, drawn on by a fear of my neighbourhood/people/public places (I felt somewhat safer with a night-light than without, due to the mere thought of a group of vandals breaking in). At the moment, I have no psychological help (Other than the schools "Special Needs" department) or any form of "anxiety medication" (I haven't been diagnosed with a Phobia and keep denying that what I have is a serious phobia - instead viewing it as a minor disturbance (despite the many ways it restricts my social health, physical health and areas I am allowed to visit) ). Rather surprisingly, the only few streets I know are those that my school is located at, my home is located at and one or two friend's houses are located.

I hope my situation can eventually improve too, thank you.