20 year old with aspergers syndrome

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Hello everyone,

I'm glad I found a website for people with aspergers. My name is Sam. It took me a while to type this all out but heres my story... and thanks for reading it. I'm giving it all i got tonite.

I believe i have aspergers syndrome, my mother thought i had aspergers as a child. I had all the signs. head banging, social problems, imaginary action figures, i would get fixated on something, i used to cut out paper things from magazines and used to create scenes and create my own explosions in my head. As I got older my mom and people noticed with me that I would change in the middle of a conversation like suddenly I wouldn't be interested or I would get very tired or irritated and just gaze into air but yet felt present but really wasn't and am not. I still do that to this day when I interact with people.

When I interact for people for a long period of time I tend to lose track of the conversation and feel completely lost.
I always felt different, but yet like i always denied it because i seem very normal, i'm handsome, i have good morals...
I was bullied alot when i was a kid and tormented. For years I have had very weird quirks where I would play with my pecs and do it unconsciously and i would rock back and forth in bed. Even at the age of 20 years old I still rock back and forth to put myself to bed and I say to myself right after I do it "okay this is the last time ill do this!" and yet i do it again the next night. I cannot help it. With certain things in life I feel like I just get an incredible urge to focus on something its weird.

I missed alot of social cues when I was a kid and still do to this day, but am getting better at it. I have not had a girlfriend yet, but have been trying to reach out to girls. I have a hard time holding a continuous conversation with someone and I often beat myself up when I get home when I have an awkward moment by either overeating or just terrorizing myself in the mirror with self-hate. Whenever people talked to me alot they thought iw as being ignorant when really i wasn't trying to be
i had a hard time looking at people in the eye, still do. It helps me concentrate more when I look away. Kids always said i was weird.

I am a funny guy. I read tony attwood's text or am still reading it but i put it aside and i identified with alot of the things he was talking about. oh by the way, also i get very tired from social experiences and have a very very hard time in large crowds, i played video games like addicted to them alot. I see like weird things alot. i pick up on weird sounds alot.

Im a recovering drug addict and alcoholic with 18 months and 14 days sober. I'm also a compulsive eater but am not overweight but consider myself overweight.I started using when I was 15 years old because I thought i was morally deficient and I had and still do have a thinking problem. Guess I gotta act my way into better thinking. I can be a con artist at times so dont let me con you . I am still an addict haha. Although i be honest to the best of my ability now. i was dx'd with bipolar disorder which i created to get meds. i might have adhd because i have always had problems with reading comprehension and interpreting thigns in the classroom, have always struggled in group discussions. My therapist told me to check it out the add thing.I also have generalized anxiety disorder but it has gotten alot better by goign to meetings and praying and meditating and exercising and breathing and doing my stepwork.

I grew up in a household where my parents were drug addicts and I went through alot of hell with them for 18 years of my life and i put them through hell too in my active addiction. They are dry addicts now.

I am a student at the University of Illinois at Chicago double majoring in Psychology and criminal justice and have a gpa of 3.4.

I do not have a diagnosis of aspergers syndrome and my therapist said to me "boy you really want the label dont you? Can't you just accept your current situation as it is today" Which she is completely right. to be grateful for what i have and live in this very moment. Cant change the past, cant change the future so mine as well accept the current situation as it is and allow my higher power's will into my life.

I come to you all looking for guidance on my aspergers. Is there any actual chemical or brain dysfunction going on with aspergers do any of you know? I heard there is white matter in the brain but is that just a rumor? I want to get better with social issues and i want to get into a meaningful relationship where I know how to talk to girls and guys too. I need someone to help me learn tools.

Thanks again I really appreciate this

Sincerely

Sam

Welcome to WP!

Welcome Home, Sam!

Come on in and kick your shoes off, get comfortable and read and post to your heart's content.

Merle

sweet

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Let me assure you that your experience iskind of common. But if I have only a sentence to write, I would just comment that our misfortunes in life are just simply obstacles in life. What doesn't kill us make us stronger...

Good luck!

Hello Sam, welcome,

Interesting, I also studied psychology; I got my Master's and I am now finishing my PhD. Good luck with your studies!

It is not clear yet what exactly is going on in the brain in autism and Asperger's. But here's a link to an article that might interest you, on recent findings on autism in the brain:
Science Daily - More Evidence That Autism Is a Brain 'Connectivity' Disorder

Enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

welcome to one of the world (or planets) most exclusive crowds we can pay to get into clubs but hey how many can say I was diagnosed into it no other way in or out

Welcome, sir!

I'm new as well so I don't know if I have the right to welcome you, but welcome to WP!

Welcome mikkyh as well! Enjoy posting and have fun!

Welcome to WP!