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Hello all this is actually going to be my first attempt at being a part of an online community so I figured I would start at the beginning and tell anyone who wants to listen a little about myself. I'm 26 living just outside Phoenix, Arizona and I've been unofficially diagnosed with aspergers. A friends wife has actually become one of the few certified people in the state for autism diagnosis and she and I have had some unique conversations (unique because she actually understands the situation and few people give me that feeling of comfort and understanding. In any case I'm still not officially diagnosed as I see no benefit to paying to be officially recognized as an aspie.

I always felt I was a little different and always understood social situations from a mechanical standpoint. I'm definitely not a natural socializer and although I'm very smart (toot toot!) and can conceptualize very well, social anxiety has built up to extreme levels and I no longer feel much desire to try and fit into the NT scene (in other words faking like I want to make small talk). I sometimes get very withdrawn from "typical" functions and often prefer to be by myself. I'm not very big on eye contact and I will often force myself to do it (which will come off as staring to a lot of people) but if I'm talking on the phone I'll do a much better job and can even lead the conversation!

I've been through one failed marriage with a neurotypical girl and although she was very pretty, she never connected with me on an intellectual level and we slowly drifted apart. I still care about her and I always felt that my acceptance of her allowed me to care about her too much. Being an aspie I'm sure there were times where I appeared weak because I wasn't sure how to handle a situation, but I could always come up with a solution by combining all the details however, in a fast paced emotional social context you don't always have the time for analysis. This would result in awkward moments where it would appear to a NT that I was saying something without saying it but really I was just being overwhelmed and misinterpreted. Eventually she did some things behind my back and I was forced to protect myself by divorcing her. Toughest time of my life!

I can do numbers and patterns like nobody's business. Most of my friends play instruments and I always felt like I was in a class all on my own. I have a very well trained musical ear ( no lessons been playing guitar for 10+ years, anything fast with a melody I can usually figure out within minutes) and I can play other instruments as well. Sometimes I feel like music is one of the only things that makes sense (or makes sense consistently I'm not sure which) and it has been my lifesaver countless times. I also enjoy video games and skateboarding. I'm not a natural at skateboarding so don't roll your eyes at an aspie doing something coordinated. I've been skating for about 6+ years and I'm still not consistent at landing a single trick, but I love it!

Anyways I could go on but I know I'll get lost in my points and digressions. I'm actually really enjoying writing this as I've never commited to something like this but I know I can find people here to connect with. I don't have a lot of real friends but I have some (at least my band mates) and I would love to feel more connection with people who understand Autism/Aspergers. Well thanks for listening hope to see you all in the forums!

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Welcome!

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hello SuspectedAlien, welcome,

You have a funny avatar!

Enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!