Hi there. I'm new, I'm 42 and trying to find my way. Help!

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Hi. I am not sure where to begin. I never seemed to fit in, which presents a problem because I've always desperately wanted to. I love to socialize, and yet even at my age I seem to have a hard time fitting in. I don't seem to relate to many people, and the ones I want to get to know, I seem to scare off. My son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's, and I'm wondering it I may have some of the hallmarks as well. I don't really care about diagnosis so much as understanding my strengths and weaknesses so that I can work with them rather than fighting them like I've been trying to do. Even if I'm not an Aspie, maybe I can relate to ones with similar issues.

I've been reading about certain features of Asperger's such as "stims" and compulisve behaviors people keep referring to. When I was a kid, I would rock back and forth, repeatedly bumping my head against the back of the seat in the car or upholstered chairs if the back was high enough. I would do this for long periods of time, as I found it comforting. I stopped when I was 12 when my step-mother made her displeasure known and I was ashamed and embarrassed. Another thing I liked to do was to rub my feet in circles on the carpet while rocking in a chair. Now, I tend to find myself thinking compulsive thoughts like "I hate my life." Up until a few years ago, my "mantras" tended to be more positive, but they seem to have gone negative in the past few year. I've found I whisper it when the thought comes to my mind. Maybe this is OCD or something - I don't know. Another thing I do is get songs stuck in my mind, which I know is normal. However, sometimes I can't get them unstuck for days or weeks at a time. Recently, I came across an unusual name that I can't stop thinking about.

As a child, I was very happy - jumping out of my skin, in fact. I was also pretty hyper active, and loved to rough-house. However, while my older sister always had a best friend, I never had any close friends. I would play parallel with other kids, but I never had any close friendships until I was in my 20's, and they were mostly single mothers like I was. I had some people who were quasi-friends tell me that I could be cool and that I only came around when I wanted something, so I guess I came across as selfish. Maybe I was. I've noticed since puberty that I tend to say the wrong thing, and I've been working on curbing it, but that may be part of what turns people off. Also, I may scare people off by being desperate to fit in. I've felt for the longest time that something is wrong with me, but I was never able to put my finger on it>

Welcome to WP!

thank you tim!

Welcome Boudicca! Welcome home!

Merle

It's a name I came across in an HR context, so it's probably not ethical for me to say what it is. Suffice it to say, it's at least as funny sounding, and has a similar ring as Rumplestiltskin.

Fitting in is over-rated. You don't have to have AS to not be able to manage it, though it does sound as if you could be to me.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hello Boudicca, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

Thank you everyone! It's very nice meeting all of you!

Welcome abroad!



What part of the USA are you from?

Mike