Hello I am new

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Hello I don't know if I am supposed to start a new thread or reply to one. I hope that here it is ok to get things like that wrong anyway.

I have just found this site and I am reading it and crying because it seems so familiar to me. I am not diagnosed with autism or aspergers but I don't know why not. I think it is because I am clever so I can pretend I understand people and that sort of thing. I am like a child inside though, I am always scared and I never really understand what I am supposed to do. I am always getting it wrong. I can't remember all the rules because they don't have the same meaning for me that they have for other people. I have always thought that I have asperger's. Of course I may be totally wrong. I hope people here will not judge me and think I'm a tourist. i can assure you i am sincere, perhaps mistaken or an idiot but definitely sincere.

I volunteer at a computer fixing place and today a boy came in who is diagnosed with aspergers. His dad was so kind and accepting and he brought the boy to see us so that he could have a nice time learning about computers which he is very interested in.

I was very jealous because when I was little nobody did that for me. I was very sad for years and years as a child and i lived in a fantasy world.

I got very upset from seeing this boy even though I am happy that he is looked after like that. I came home and I was looking on the internet for help on another problem I have which is that I cannot stand being a woman and having a woman's body. And the link brought me here so i thought I would join.

I went to the doctor once and told him I thought i had aspergers and he looked in a little medical dictionary and then looked at me out of one eye and said "I don't think you have got that". Another time though, I went for counselling for depression and she was convinced I did have aspergers. But then I told my dad and he was extremely angry and then said i was being ridiculous. So I decided not to think about it any more and not research the subject further.

But now i feel like i need to investigate it. i am 30 and in a relationship and have an interest now (computers) and an almost-reasonable job and I still feel so wrong inside most of the time. I drink alcohol to alleviate it but ultimately that makes things worse. Maybe it is aspergers or something else or just me being too indulgent in myself or whatever. So i hope it's ok if I hang out here and i'm sorry in advance if I muck things up and offend anybody. Anyway there it is that's my introduction - i decided just to say it like it is and not pretend.

Thank you very much for reading it

You may see that in other posts in the future i sound very different and more coherent. that's what it is like for me, sometimes i feel like this and my communication is broken, sometimes i am eloquent

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to Wrongplanet.

Thank you everyone

What can i say but be welcome here my dear!
Whether you have Aspergers or not, be welcome! Feel welcome!

A normal Dr isn't qualified to say whether or not you have AS. That is up to the professionals in this field. Seek them out and try and gain their opinion instead.
Just be prepared for it to take some time. Aspergers isn't easy to diagnose as an adult. It took a little over a year for my diagnosis to be realised.
It's okay to be afraid! But you can do it! Don't let anyone's opinion about searching for answers stop you.
I too have been afraid. When i was little i was the same. Nobody did that for me either. I was treated rather cruelly! I spent much of my life in a world of fantasy too! My childhood wasn't all that pleasant. My father at least has been a good man and a good friend. But he is the only one.
So far i have found acceptance here. I'm gaining some friends through this site. I think you will too!
Just so you know, you are a person. Just like anyone else. You deserve to be happy! I wish for happiness to be with you! ....Always!

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hello anomie, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!