03 Mar 2010, 9:52 pm
Hi! My name is Gen (or Gigi if you want) and I'm new. I'm a stay at home mom and therefore will have to keep it short 
The gist is:
-married to a wonderful (Aspie) man, we met online about 6 years ago. We have a sweet little boy, 4 months old
-my husband is convinced I have Asperger's as well, although I have never been diagnosed
-I joined to connect with others dealing with the same issues as us and also to get some info for myself. After learning what it was a few years ago, I did feel that it explained a lot about how I am. I never felt the need before recently to get diagnosed since I had a nice routine and was dealing pretty well, an "orgainzed mess" I guess 
However, lately our lives have changed dramatically and I find myself scrambling ALL THE TIME. My routines and rituals have gone out of the window since becoming a parent. I am at once totally, completely happy with my son but unhappy with how I am so unorganized and bad at "multi-tasking". You see parents juggling cooking, phone convos, crying kids, dirty dishes, snacks, etc all the same time. Well, I was never good at that ALONE now I HAVE to do at least SOME to get by and it's not happening. And sure it's stressful for anyone, but for me it's impossible. I end up burning dinner (or myself!) or starting the dishes but not finishing them. I try to get advice from others, like my mom, on how they do it and honestly it doesn't help. My mother seems to think it has something to do with motivation. Well, I am awake from just about dawn to 2 am most days doing all kinds of stuff for my son- obviously I am not lazy. I just can't seem to do that AND make dinner or feed myself, do chores, and all the other stuff many people seem to be able to do at once.
-Another problem is that we moved about 3 hours away from my family and the ONE friend I do have. I love our home and area, but making friends has always been extremely difficult for me. Most people do not understand why I converse the way I do (too blunt, awkward pauses, going on and on about stuff they really do not care about, totally clueless about "small talk"). Many see me as rude, spacey/unintelligent, or even snobby because of these things. Because of this I avoid meeting new people. In fact I dread it because it is so tiring. I used to meet people in forced situations, such as work or school, but being a stay at home mom now I am not thrust into these situations anymore. Sometimes I used to force myself into situations to try and make myself meet new people, but it usually ended up being so stressful I would flake out eventually (or totally embarrass myself). So, if I DID meet some friend-like material they would write me off as not dependable or weird. The one friend I have managed to keep after all these years is truly special. She has patience and kindness that I think most people lack. She seems to understand when I "disappear" for awhile that I am not ignoring her, but that I just need space. But she is 4 hours away now and has 3 kids of her own, so we do not talk much and hardly see each other. And, as far as getting advice re: parenting from her 1) our styles totally clash and 2) she muti-tasks like crazy. Telling me to "multi-task" doesn't really help me I understand that is what is needed but do not "get" how to implement it...
Sorry, went on a little long there Hope I didn't bore or confuse anyone. Anyway I would love to meet others with similar issues, especially moms with good advice for someone like me I would also appreciate any advice that could help me in finding a doctor in my area 9I live near Oceanside, Ca) that actually understands Asperger's and can diagnose it. Thanks
03 Mar 2010, 10:18 pm
03 Mar 2010, 10:35 pm
03 Mar 2010, 10:41 pm
03 Mar 2010, 11:29 pm
Cool, thanks
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,979
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love
04 Mar 2010, 1:39 am
Welcome to WrongPlanet.
04 Mar 2010, 6:34 am
04 Mar 2010, 11:24 am
