36 - Just Married and Diagnosed Aspergers, Agoraphobia, OCD

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Hi to everyone

A quick profile of me.

I joined this site last year but only had my official diagnoses this year. I'm 36.
I was a street skater and Super-8 expert for years and now I'm a freelance cinematographer and designer.
I also enjoy writing scripts and directing films as well as photography and illustration.

I love architecture, comics, collecting toys, movies, fine art, music and theatre. However I have an extremely dark sense of humor which really helps when I feel down.

I love nearly all types of music from Justin Timberlake to Jane's Addiction to Gil Scot-Heron and so on.

And I got married last year which was wonderful.

Now cutting to the chase.

Well I'm really freaked out that I have Aspergers. It makes so much sense but I've spent 35 years not knowing and feeling extremely stressed at times. My wife was the one that noticed it - like the fact that I wouldn't hug her, sitting on the opposite side of the sofa from her (just like in the film 'Adam') and being completely socially inept saying exactly what I thought to people as opposed to lying.

I'm glad I know why I hate people touching me or loud noises, crowds, tight clothing and the list goes on.

But in a very positive way I think it has given me a more unique take on life with my creative side. Now I'm post diagnoses I can see the heavy influence of my Aspergers Syndrome and how I see the world when I make films.

Now I know I have AS I am trying to be much more aware of my actions - but even recently when my wife was crying about something I just stood there staring at her rather than hugging her - I really don't understand why my brain locks up like this - I feel like a total dick at times.

Its funny because I have always related more to TV characters like Sheldon in The Big Bang Theory (though I have read that some Aspies dislike these representations) But he makes me laugh because I see elements of me in him - especially the cutting remarks and logical thought processes that seem more akin to robots than humams

Any I would love to chat to fellow Aspies

Best wishes

OWL

I formed the impression somewhere along the line, that people didn't want me touching them, when a lot of times a big hug is probably what they wanted... and because I wasn't putting out, they thought I was just "odd". Perhaps it was those "rude" and "insensitive" things I say at times when I was never intending to be either. I feel I have to be given permission to touch another person... and vis versa, I don't like people putting their hands on me. However, an embrace isn't contagious. Maybe knowing the A.S. symptoms will help you to step out of your misconceptions about what people around you may really want.
When I was a teenager I read in a psychology book that people who fail to make eye contact, may be lying. So I worked really hard on that (I knew I was exceptionally shy, and marked it off as shyness and fear)... I didn't want people thinking I was a liar.

There's help to learn coping strategies. Wish you the best.

Pleased to meet you, Owl. Welcome to the Wrong Planet.

Thanks for your reply AspieForty. I too remind myself about eye contact but I have to be reminded not to stare at people either.

I've found that copying the way other people act can help me - but it feels so strange when I know I'm consciously reminding myself to smile in social situations - I sometimes find it funny to myself when I suddenly remember I must smile. So I go from a blank face to a smile

Hi JetLag

Thank you for your welcome

Owl

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

Hello!! Good to have you here.

Hello Owl, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

Agoraphobia! I fear sweaters too
Welcome to WP

I think that is "Angoraphobia!"

Welcome.

OMG...Owl...DUDE!! !!

We are almost like KINDRED SOULS here! I see so much of your traits in myself! I have no diagnosis, but more and more, the similarities are being brought to my attention. Any moreso and I will question the need for a "professional" opinion.

Owl wrote:

THAT'S ME!

Even when I have tried to be the opposite, I always revert to my normal state of preferring distance. I do not like people trying to hug me - the exception being if I'm at a Twelve Step meeting. I've had to tell myself that this is our version of the secret handshake and just go along with it. But I won't hug a co-worker or a stranger or even a relative if I can get away with it.

Owl wrote:


BEEN there...DONE that!

It's like...umm okay...NOW whadoIdo????

I just old somebody about this remarkable similarity we have and SHE thought it sounded awfully familiar.

Welcome Owl!

I relate to Sheldon too! Love his 'quirkiness'!

I have always had problems with socialization and have had to push myself to interact with people. I had not been 'officially' diagnosed AS, but have most of the traits. Had to learn how to focus, and imitate gestures...still suck at it!

And my brother is ASD... he doesn't like to interact at all! No hugging, no scratchy clothes, no loud sounds... but that's OK, he's still my bro, and I love and support him!

He had a really hard time in school, but did go thru college, and now works at a tire / auto repair shop. He is doing great! I tell him how proud I am of him, and sometimes with get a smile or grin out of him... that's all I need!

He recently got his Inspection license, so he can pass / fail cars that come in for their yearly inspection. He loves it, b/c of the precision and attention to detail that is required... AS people are great at this type of job!

So...you have AS, but knowing this you will be able to cope better in stressful situations. Try new things that are outside your comfort zone...you may find a new hobby or friend.

Bazinga! - Sheldon