New Aspie family

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Hi, I'm very glad I found this forum. Haven't looked around too much yet but I'm sure it'll be very informative. I think I have Asperger's, didn't realize it for a long time, because my family's just like me, so I always thought it's normal. ( I thought it's normal to have fights between family members every single day, too.)

I was surprised when my son was diagnosed last year. I thought "That's not normal? But he's pretty much like me." Then my brother got diagnosed. I'm sure my dad is the source. He's an eccentric scientist who doesn't like people. My husband is probably borderline. Everybody's got high IQ.

I keep pondering about getting a diagnosis but was afraid my doctor would not take it seriously. I know there's no cure and I'm not even hoping for any therapy. I just hope I can get a bit respect I deserved. Currently my parents don't treat me the same way they treat my brother. They expect a lot more from me, ask me to help my brother because he's got mental illness, while I'm "normal". They give him money every month to supplement his income and buy him all sorts of stuff. I not only get nothing, they dumped my old grandma (dad's mother) to me because I can afford to support her. Never mind that I hate taking care of people, especially very old people. I have a lot of issues myself and a special need child. Grandma and I never got along too well. They don't understand that I worked very hard to just barely maintain a normal life, they don't care how much their demands stress me out. I'm tempted to go and get the same label and tell them to stop bugging me so much. Would that be a wrong reason to get a diagnosis? I do think I have it.

Welcome to WP!

Hello v-pod. It's great how you use the power of positive thinking!

Sounds like my family. Only they treat my brother that way because he's the only male. My "label" of AS hasn't made them treat me differently. It has made my mom (who is def NOT an Aspie) respect me a tad more.

My dad almost certainly is the source as well. He is very stereotypical. He doesn't like many people, and would prefer to geek out with his anime or J-Pop or fishing obsession than hang out with them My dad and I are A LOT a like so when I met my now-husband and he explained to me what AS was I had the same reaction, "That's not normal?" Over the years my hubby became more convinced I also had AS, but I didn't fel the need to get Dx because I was happy and a Dx wasn't going to really make a diff. But then we had our son and I have been DROWNING due to my terrible multi-tasking ability and practically nil organizational skills. Not to mention the constant attachment that comes with kids (although I totally LOVE my son, the never getting time to myself is thrashing me by the end of the day). So I decided to go to a neuropsych. I was Dx pretty easily: I have many of the major signs and I have what seems to be a family connection (although my dad isn't Dx).

I wanted to find out 100% why I am the way I am, good and bad, so I could hopefully be a better mom and just generally a more functional person. And It seems to have helped a bit (although it will take much more time for me to learn about it. it's only been a couple weeks). I would get Dx for THAT reason, I wouldn't expect it to change how others treated me, at least not in a good way. My mom's 1st reaction was, "You're just lazy. You did fine in school. There's nothing wrong with you besides laziness". Then once she read up on it she was like, "OH, so THAT'S why you have always been that way". So it was a bit vindicating, but at the end of the day it didn't change much. they still coddle my bro and let him get away with all kinds of crazy stuff.

So basically, I would only get Dx if it's going to help you be a better person or have a better life. I know some here may think you seem a tad "complainy" but I too understand how it is for a sibling to get special treatment (although mine doesn't seem to have a disorder or anything) and it is incredibly insulting and painful. You pretty much just have to get over it. Just be glad it's because maybe your bro really DOES need help. And learn to say no to your family. You don't HAVE to take on everyone else's problems because you've been a survior and taken care of yourself. My hubby gets the same treatment from HIS family. They are all very irresponsible people except for him. So because he makes OK money they act like he is rich (not at all).eventually he had to just say no unless it was an emergency. I always try to remember the saying that you can't change others- only yourself. You can't control how others act only yourself.

So, if a Dx would make you feel like it would help you understand your way of thinking and that in turn would help you out- then I would get Dx

Welcome greetings to the WP forums, y-pod.

Hello, welcome to Wrong Planet!

To WrongPlanet!! !

You've been holding things together, and it sounds like any more will be the straw that broke the camel's back... and you obviously have a hard time saying "No" but really inside, you're tired of being taken advantage of... hmmmm, could be Aspergers Syndrome, and I'd suggest counseling, just for sake of avoiding a nervous breakdown. Sounds like everyone is dumping their load on you to carry. You've got to take care of yourself and stand up for yourself.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

Hello y-pod, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

Welcome to WP y-pod!