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Hi everyone, I've been lurking here for a while, so, I should probably introduce myself...

I always knew something I was somehow different from others. As a kid I was always interested in technical things, disassembling whatever I could lay my hands on, and "repairing" it. With time, I actually could repair something. I developed interest in computers and programming, ended up with software engineering degree, and now I work as programmer. I never understood people motives and feelings, often blunted offensive things, asking why all the time, and couldn't understand why I offended them and why they don't like me. In school I usually stood aside and watched in confusion why other children run in circles, or minding my own business which included standing in the middle of the hall and watching in the ceiling. So, I often got picked on and bullied. Luckily, I was quite big, so they often got back what they deserved. I couldn't take BS from other children or teachers, and school system in general, so I was usually in constant conflict. I had few other "outcast" friends, who were much more interesting to hang on then "popular" ones. Also being good with computers usually pulled me from troubles and I had some respect from people.

After school things got much better, but I continued to have problems with people at work, and socializing in general. It seemed I was weirdo even between geeks. I did suspect Asperger syndrome for few times, but always dismissed it as statistically non probable. But when I finally accepted that I just can't get to same wavelength with other people, whatever I try, I solved Baron Cohen AQ test and rdos aspie-quiz, and ended up 39 AQ and 157 rdos. So probably I am.

Also I think quite differently then most people, have quite good problem solving ability and completely different perception. I see and hear details other don't, but often get confused and overloaded in noisy environment, so then I don't perceive anything. Also, I don't have good sense for time, and am quite disorganized.

In last few years I started to gradually lose interest in everything, somehow I ended up disappointed in whole world and myself, and lost perspective. Probably just couldn't handle accumulated anxiety acquired from constant "impedance mismatch". In one attempt, I tried to become more "human", and almost went literally insane. More I realized how (most) people actually are, more I hated them and myself for not ever being able to fit in genuinely... So it seems I still have to accept this...

So, nice to meet you all.

Welcome to WrongPlanet!

Thanks for sharing your story.

Welcome to WP

Welcome to the WP forums, skylined.

Welcome home, skylined.

Merle

Hello skylined,

Welcome To

I tried that, and went Out of sanity.

..or even Want to

This right here now is the big one, there are days when every move you make, every breath or every heartbeat, requires this acceptance, but it gets easier every day. You can find some neat people around these parts who share the same interest. Thanks for your story, reminds me of me.

Welcome to WrongPlanet, and welcome to my time warp.

Hello skylined, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!

To WrongPlanet!! !