I am fuzzy, aged 33(i finally learned to keep it straight in my head). In the last month or so, I have been exploring the possibility that I may be borderline aspergers.
My situation is complicated by the fact that I am suffering hearing loss, but this mitigates busy public places, as it effectively shrinks my sensory world.
Another somewhat unique factor is that my mom answered each and every "why?" question that my siblings and myself asked. I dont believe we were the type to ask why repeatedly just for amusement. I was a quiet kid. It helped me learn the responses that are considered polite.
I had(have) very strong interests, but they didnt seem to reach the peak of obsession that some autists experience. My interests were lightly moderated by my mom.
Mom fell for the sales pitch of a door to door salesman, and bought the full set of world encylopedia, and instantly regretted it. Luckily, she got her moneys worth, or rather, I did! In it, I discovered many wonderful things, including phychology, which fascinated me. I believe that helped me learn a good deal about behavior. It also clouded me to the fact that i didnt understand a lot of cues, and probably clouded that for other people too.
For me, response to cues and behavior to others has always been mechanical. Someone will look at me and I will select a response, flip a switch, so to speak, and act out the action. In some ways I have gotten pretty good at it. I thought i was good at it, anyway. It always left me wondering why people still looked at me wierd.
A lot of you talk about going to bars and clubs to learn social skills. At about age 22, i started going to local clubs(i had just moved to a new town). For about six years, a friend and myself attended friday and saturday like church! Like i said, I am quiet and polite spoken, so I didnt get in any trouble. Mostly I'd sit and listen to the music. The act of dancing is painful to me. I made a good deal of casual friends. Nothing too deep, just like I like it. The staff all liked me, and I became a regular.
It helped that I dont drink much. Social pressures and social behavior have little effect on me.
A little more than 4 years ago, I had bought the cigarette machine in my favourite cub. It had been owned by a friend of mine, who operated a rose selling business in local bars. She was getting out of the club life, and I had always bugged her to sell it to me. That was the start of an adventure of its own. I'll tell it another time.
Because of this, I was sitting at the end of the bar on a quiet night, and the head bartender asked me if i wanted a job. I didnt get it. They didnt need a bartender.... She said no, "as a doorman, a bouncer!".
I told her that I didnt know how to fight...
"Its not about that", she told me. "You are quiet, dependable, people like you, you dont cause trouble. you are not going to be drunk or high on the job...I think you'd be good at it."
I needed a job. Like many of you I have had poor luck finding employment. The cigarette machine wasnt enough to live on... so I said yes, with trepidation. In four years, I learned a lot about behavior, like how to flirt... how to shape peoples behavior/actions....I still dont know how to fight!
I am here now at wrongplanet, and later I will tell you all what I learned....if you reply to my post!
02 Apr 2006, 6:57 pm
Hope you are well, nice interesting topic you got here. You're not the only one who can't fight, I can't either, I haven't got the power to hit someone, well tell a lie, I've hit Scott on the face once which he asked for and I felt bad afterwards. 
