Trying too hard.

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Hello, I am here for the first time posting today. I am sometimes uncertain about if I am depressed or not because people always treat me like I am. I guess I am somewhat sad because my whole life I have been isolated (more like periods of trying to make friends, having them find out I am a fake and becoming more and more isolated as I get older).

I am 30, female and I only found out last year that I had AS and am still waiting on official diagnosis. I am still trying to work out how I am going to salvage what's left of my 4 year relationship, try to get a job for more than 9 months and finish graduate school (there is only 8 people in the program so there is nowhere to hide). I can only fake being normal for so long before eveyone hates me. It is too stressful to constantly try to maintain that. That's why I am trying to connect with some people who might understand.

Welcome to WrongPlanet. I'm pretty sure most of us can relate to your feelings. I know I can. Glad to have you here with us!

Hey Noodle,

I've been exactly where you're at. It's really hard on you to make sense of things and to fit in like yourself. I lost my ability to fake it when I became overwhelmed with my kids. I'm now on medication and I have to say it has made a world of difference. I know I'm different, but I can say I like me. I think that's where people pick up the depressed vibe. I don't think I was depressed, just really confused.

Knowledge of AS helped alot, know your differences and don't apologize for them. My son has more strengths than weaknesses because of Autism, some people have more weaknesses, but we're all there. My take is everyone is on the spectrum....everyone, some are just further along. I like thinking there are more people like me. I don't feel lonely. Look for support groups in your area, I tried that but couldn't find any in my neighborhood. I might start something but I think I need more help from NTs right now than other ASs. This place has been great, hang around here and you'll find all kinds of support and help.

Good Luck

Jetgirl

oh poor noodle

i have been there too, though not with the graduate program, omg you are juggling a lot of things.

(hugs)