Puzzle Pieces Just Fit Themselves Together

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Hello,

Less then forty-eight hours ago, puzzle pieces that have been flitting about in my mind for years suddenly floated down and fit themselves together spelling Aspergers Syndrome for my ex-husband. And it is totally responsible for the "ex-ness" of him. Had I known those many years ago that he really did love me, but had to express it differently, I never would have left. My head is spinning with all the big and little bits of recognition of signs and symptoms he displayed all his life. Who knew? Today, he's in a hospital bed in the dining room of the house where we raised the kids, the same kids who are now his end-of-life caregivers. He's dying of pancreatic cancer. Yesterday, I asked the kids (they're in their thirties) to excuse us for a few minutes because I had a thing to say to their dad. He was able to turn his head toward me, and almost focus on my face, just above his. I spoke, asked and gave forgiveness, and told him I'd learned some things over the years, and now knew he'd done the best he could, and really had loved me. I told him if I'd known that, I never would have left, and I was so sorry things turned out the way they did. One tear appeared at the corner of his eye. So, I asked for a kiss, and got a little pucker - the best he could do, and we had made our peace. In the near future, I'll fill the kids in, his parents, and his brother and sister, none of whom show similar signs. And they will also come to know him better, and love him more.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

that is one of the most moving stories
I have heard here.

Thank you so much.

Chris

Well, better late than never, and at least he got to know something valuable while making peace. Only thing now is to move on, knowing full well what you learned and to make the best of it. The story you tell is much like that of my uncle (who sadly died, for the most part alone because of his unknown AS condition). It's sad when you come across much needed information posthumously, but knowing is still better than ignorance.

Welcome greetings, DonnaMyst, to the WP community.

It is good that you were able to tell him before it was absolutely too late. Many people don't get that gift.

Your introduction is like no other......unforgettable. You are warmly greeted by the Wrong Planet, and on behalf of your husband. Welcome, DonnaMyst.

I have been teased for being a cyborg (I even look somewhat like '7 of 9') - understood.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome. Bud, my ex, passed away peacefully yesterday morning from pancreatic cancer. He was 62 years old. Our two oldest children, his caregivers, were holding his hands, my brother had arrived to bring yummy pork, and the hospice nurse was singing softly in the background. Limited no longer by Asperger's or anything, he's home!