ummmmmmm . . . hi

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not quite sure what to say.

ok - I'm an old fart - 49.

there was no such thing as asperger's when i was a kid. if it had been around, i'm quite sure i would have been diagnosed with it waaaaaaaaaaay back. instead, i've been asking "WTF is wrong with me?" for about 37 years without an answer.

then, after making an offhand remark about some character on a tv show probably having asperger's, i decided to google it and find out if it "fit" him or not. it didn't, BTW.

but, oh my god! if i wrote down every weird thing i do and named it "asperger's" the description could not fit me more exactly.

i'm not sure if i'll try to get a formal diagnosis or not - i'm not sure if there would be any real advantages to that, or not, at this point.

but i'm pretty sure i have an answer.

after thirty seven years, I FINALLY have an answer!


so, anyway . . . . hi!

Hi and welcome to WP, I've seen plenty of members who can relate to your situation...so you're definitely in good company!

Welcome from this slightly younger old fart.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Hi ya there! Welcomefulness! Greetings! Salutations! Etc!

Hello Another_1. I absolutely agree with SnowWhite88. In fact you story is similar to mine and we are of a similar age - I have just turned 47.

Two doctors have said that I have AS, but I am going ahead with a more formal expert examinations: its called ADOS.

Months ago I was resistant to speaking about Asperger's, but I am now embracing it!

Would you mind telling me where in the world you live? You might also find it helpful to link up with WP people via Facebook.

clovis - Oh, I'm in the big city! Columbia, South Carolina (ummmm . . .the big city comment was sarcasm, BTW. It's the state capital, but big it ain't - thank god! i hated atlanta!)

I first heard about AS on a sitcom, too - Ted Danson spent an entire episode of Becker laughing at the phrase 'Ass Burgers'. It was ugly and demeaning, and I had no idea what it was until 5 years later, when someone sent me an email link to an article on AS with the header: 'Read This, It Sounds Like You." Yes it did.

I was 45 when I read that, 49 when diagnosed 2 years ago, but for me that DX was a lifeline - my work history had always been unstable, but my career had finally crumbled out from under me. If I hadn't identified my disability, I'd probably have ended up a homeless suicide. In fact, a former coworker of mine whom I'm certain was also Aspergian did take his life last year after being unemployed for two years. I can't help but think if I could have found him in time and told him my own story, I might have saved his life.

Wow. That was a buzzkill, eh?

Hey, is that nick from Pink Floyd's Breathe?



groovy.

Hi again, Another_1.

I get the impression that people here on WP view their own formal diagnosis as a good thing, but clearly we are all individuals with widely different experiences of medical services etc.

You should at least have completed Simon Baron-Cohen's 'AQ test' - have you done this yet?

I also think you need a good relationship with your doctor. I am very protective of my privacy but I recently come to appreciate I need to trust people more (I think that's a typical AS symptom).

I live in the UK, and don't I know how much you might know about our entirely free medical services (NHS) . For me that's been a blessing too. I know from seeing your Presidents attempted health reforms that the US system is different and that this may present problems.

Clovis - people here on WP view their own formal diagnosis as a good thing,

I have seen that on several of the forums I've been reading. I understand why some people are . . . .protective? of their diagnosis. It has, apparently, become "popular" to claim asperger's as an excuse for poor behaviour. People who legitimately have it have every right to be updet when some pretender makes a claim to something which is . . . um, difficult . . . to deal with on a daily basis.

Re: the AQ test. Yes (among others) I scored a 38.

On the test which gives a "spiderweb" graph, i was 168/200 "aspie", 20/200 "NT".

My "Emotional IQ" came out as:
Self-report Component
Subscale IQ score = 55
Subscale percentile = 0.13


Autistic/BAP
You scored 124 aloof, 120 rigid and 107 pragmatic


My "Systemizing and Empathizing Quotient Test" gave:
Respondent Average EQ Average SQ Brain Type
Males 39.0 61.2 Systemizing
Females 48.0 51.7 Empathizing
Your Score 8 83 Extreme Systemizing

You tell me which of these (if any) is worth taking into account. *shrug*

The only test result I have is the AQ test in which I scored 34. But I have no idea about the others tests. From what I have been told so far both your and my scores are well above the marginal score of 16, so that would appear to be the clearest indication you have AS.

The very fact that AS is sometimes seen as fashionable and a desirable thing to have is, I guess, part of the reason people do indeed use it as an excuse for poor behavior. At work it is also the source of some prejudice against me - I am on sick leave as a consequence of the police taking against me and not understanding me.

I understand that no test is as good as formal diagnosis by a trained professional - in my case that's a three hour test and discussion with a doctor, and the doctor will also speak to a close friend to gain an objective view.

One big caveat here is that I am just beginning my 'journey of discovery' I know very little and have much to learn, so forgive me if anything I have said appears stupid or just plain wrong!

clovis: I understand that no test is as good as formal diagnosis by a trained professional - in my case that's a three hour test and discussion with a doctor, and the doctor will also speak to a close friend to gain an objective view.

Agreed. And that is why, unless I DO decide to "formalize" the diagnosis, I am telling the people (actually, only 2. My brother and my boyfriend) I am discussing this with that "I think I may have this," rather than "Hey, I HAVE this."

As to" . . . speak with a close friend," um, yeah. OK. good luck with that one. I only know 2 people in columbia - and I've been here for, uh, 6 years, i think? I guess my bf could do it, but we've only known each other for about 2.5 years. hmmmmmm. Is it odd that he's been my bf for that long, and I'm not sure if he's "close" enough to answer? As for my brother - well, we talk on the phone at least once a month or so.


Willard: Wow. That was a buzzkill, eh?
Hey, at least you're here to post about it, right?

Hey, is that nick from Pink Floyd's Breathe?
no, not that creative. I was gonna go with "ohgodnotanotherselfdiagnosedaspie" , but it was too long.

I'm in the United States. For me, there's no reason to pursue a formal diagnosis because I have no intention of claiming any public benefits. I'm sooooooo lucky to be completely self-sufficient, let me just put that out there. I've been to support groups (mostly out of curiosity, I don't get any actual "support" from knowing other people are like me) and it truly is a spectrum. I'm 42, known I've been different from the moment I can remember a sentient thought. I've been hyper-aware of my surroundings always, and it's fascinating to see one of my children go through the same thing (though her symptoms seem watered-down at the moment, is that a thing?).

Mostly, I see it as a way to understand myself. I never need external validation, so what good would a diagnosis do me? Having had the comorbidities of depression and anxiety my entire life, without any lasting effective treatment, I really no longer trust the mental health industry. If this self-diagnosis starts to fail me in its paradigm, then I will move on. But this fits me to a 'T'. I was shocked to discover such a thing.

Hi Another_1,

I see that MV is happy to live without a formal diagnosis, and fortunately seems to have enough self confidence to manage her own life. Possibly then, even though not needing 'support' MV still has a supportive family structure?

My problems are largely situation based, so when I am with my girlfriend I am generally happy but find it difficult to cope when alone and that means I rarely go out of my house. I know that cannot continue and I am fed up with getting into trouble with the police - especially as there's no suggestion I've committed any form of offence.

I am working on the basis that the earlier diagnosis by the psychiatrist is sufficient to enable me to say that I definitely have AS , but the further test should, I believe help understand my condition better.

As to friends or family members: it is sometimes useful to canvas the views of other people as they will see things about you that might be unusual but about which you are not conscience. I have only known my girlfriend for about 18 months and she notices that the way I shop or react to mismatching tableware is 'unusual'. And at work people for a long time know have indicated that I am noticeable "eccentric".

I could not understand why I was different and while realizing I was, thought that I was the only 'normal' person. What I still don't know is to what extent these differences can be explained by AS and how then to deal with the problems that result from being different.

As MV as indicated having a formal diagnosis can (in theory) be a benefit when seeking benefits and, at least here in the UK, provides additional employment rights. That's important to me as it means my job remains secure, even though I am on sick leave for the second time this year.

I see from the home page of WP that there is a link to something called 'RDOS'. I am not sure if this is the same as the ADOS test I mentioned earlier, but found this link when searching for more information:

(you will need to remove the spaces as WP wno't let me post links for the moment)

rdos[dot] net/ eng/ Aspie-quiz.php

Hello another_1, welcome, enjoy your stay on the Wrong Planet!