New.....parent of 8 YO with PDD NOS

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Hi Everyone! I'm so thankful to have found this group! I'm the mom to a wonderful, beautiful and challenging 8 YO girl. We are still working on an exact diagnosis - so far the only "official" ones are PDD, General Anxiety disorder and ADHD. Several potential diagnoses have been thrown at us including Asperger's and bi-polar disorder.

In short (hah!), my daughter is very smart with a quirky sense of humor. She is also prone to emotional outbursts when things don't go as she expects, has a great need to be in control of situations, has a difficult time in making/keeping friends, and does not tolerate chaotic environments (lunch room, gymn class) and unstructured time well. She also has issues with not being empathetic, not respecting authority figures and not feeling remorse for her actions. For example, she will yell at another student for doing something "incorrectly" until the child starts crying and will then state "well, it's her fault for not doing it right and being too sensitive. She needs to toughen up. Her action caused my reaction." She also has a tendancy to be unable to see the "grey" in a situation - it's either black or white. I've often described her as having "cat-like" behavior. Everything is on her terms or not at all for the most part - and it's been this way since she was was very young.

She has advanced reading/reading comprehension and lingustic skills - she uses many, many words that are far beyond her years. She starting talking when she was 9 months old, potty trained early, and progressed normally with the exception of emotional issues. She just seems to lack the ability to cope with things that "normal" (whatever that is!) children would manage rather easily. She has issues writing, however, due to some fine motor issues (she has what the OT calls a quadrapod grip), and issues with being able to consistently punctuate and capitalize letters (eg following common rules - maybe due to the impulsiveness?).

She also has an EI designation at school, due to the emotional outbursts (she has a tendancy to shout/yell first, and then begin running around the classrooms in circles). In the general ed setting, this causes a lot of distress as they are not sure how she will react when she is angry, which causes them to clear the room and try to segregate her from the rest of the students - which doesn't work well. The last straw happened a few weeks ago when the principal tried to restrain her to keep her from rejoining the other students - which resulted in the principal being bitten by my daughter. Now they are pushing for a placement in a segregated EI room in a different school. All while they (the school system) steadfastly maintain that she does not have Autism, as she is too verbal and makes eye contact and has the ability to be "sarcastic".

So, the info here has started to open my eyes - I have long maintained that I think she has Asperger's (but what do I know, I'm the mom, and my non-sanctioned opinions don't mean much). I have a sister who has many "autistic" characteristics, although she was never given an official diagnosis as such (she is 38 now).

It's just been so frustrating to try and get her the help that she needs. We have been seeing psychiatrists since she was 3. It's also very heart breaking to see people distinguish her by her "bad" behaviors - and be unable to see all the unique talents and qualities that she has. And, as a parent, it hurts to see her meet new friends only to have them back away due to her outbursts.
The psychiatrist keeps pushing meds. The therapist makes me feel like I have Ted Bundy on my hands with all the talk of how "concerning" it is that my daughter takes no responsibility for her outbursts, lacks empathy and doesn't feel guilt over hurting others feelings and/or physically hurting them via hitting (only the principal has been bitten thus far). It's all so overwhelming at times - the therapist has suggested that I am a "problem solver/fixer" and need to have patience and that some things take time to fix, if they can even be fixed at all. I am accepting of the fact that my daughter isn't typical, and I'm OK with that - I love her for who she is. What I'm not accepting of is that we've been working on this for 5 years now and we don't have what I consider to be an accurate diagnosis.
Thanks for listening to me vent!

Hi,

She does sound a lot more like an Aspie than PDD-NOS since she didn't have any developmental delays in the language department. It sounds like she does have major behavioral issues and unless she can get those things under control she would probably belong in a behavioral room despite her academic abilities. If she's upsetting other children the way you describe on fairly regular basis she is is impeding the other children's ability to learn so the only reasonable thing would be to place her where her behavior can be dealt with better.

A lot of what your describing sounds like more than Asperger's or any ASD. Her violent behavior sounds very concerning and unfair to her classmates. If I understand your descriptions of what she's doing at school it must be very hard for the other children to learn well when she is around. The schools obligation to those children is as important is their obligation to your daughter so they must move her. As you get the diagnoses figured out there are therapies and medications that can help and you could see a lot of improvement. With puberty fast approaching this is very important as those hormone changes can make mood disorders and anxiety disorders much worse. It's good that you are getting things sorted out now.

Welcome to the Wrong Planet community, gardengirl414.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

To WrongPlanet!! !

I'd go to someone who is well-versed in specifically diagnosing autism spectrum disorders in children. If she hasn't been given this, one great test that I was given is called the ADOS and there are questionnaires that you fill out specific to Asperger's. Ask the psychologist specifically about these tests. You might have more clout with that.

Best wishes and I hope you get better answers soon!