Hello, I am Elizabeth.

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Joined: 8 Jul 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 17

09 Jul 2010, 5:54 am

I do not know if I have aspergers or not... I just know that since a year and a half ago when I met my good friend who has aspergers I've been fascinated with learning about it. I feel like I relate a lot to certain symptoms I have read about, and also to my friend... The thing is not all the symptoms really match me.
I feel I've been really weird my entire life. When I was a little kid I used to recite, "If people call me weird, I'd say 'Thank you!'", like it was something to be proud of. I feel like "normal" people are more "weird" than "weird" people, and I find myself being able to make friends and get along and understand the abnormal crowd of people.
I have really bad social anxiety. When I don't know someone, or even if I know them but I just really respect them or if they are older than me, I totally choke up. My mind goes completely blank and I can't say anything, and everything I do say I just hate.
Then, when I open up, it's like I can't stop talking. I talk so much, and then feel embarrassed afterwords and worry if I said something too weird. Sometimes I blame my non-stop talking on the fact that I am a Gemini... Geminis love talking... You see, I'm obsessed with Astrology. I know so much about it, and when I start talking about it it's like I just want to lecture the person by me about it forever... I feel weird about that.
I've always felt like I live in my own head, in my own world, like the outside reality is so distant. I used to have a really hard time feeling like I connected to anybody when I was younger.
I have a lot of anxiety and I am depressed.... maybe these aren't really positive things to be talking about in an introduction, but I think I should include them since it has such an impact on my life and personality. I also feel like I might have talked too much about irrelevant stuff, but I feel like I don't get much of a chance to voice my insecurities and talk about how I feel different than other people... so I hope all my ranting is okay. XD

I took two different online tests to determine if I have aspergers or not. I scored pretty high on both and both said I probably do... but I could tell that the tests were BS to some degree and definately not professional... so I still don't know...

Anyways, I am 19 years old... I'm trying to go to college, even though I am so lazy and hate doing any kind of work. I am obsessed with music. I have 12,000+ tracks in my library and I am always searching for new music. It's seriously my most favorite thing in the world. I am really close to my family and my friends... I love cats and most animals. I consider myself to be intelligent, even though it's hard for me to get across my understandings about things. And yeaaaah.

The end!! !