Hello from a struggling parent

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I'm a mostly, (probably not entirely) NT parent of a 9yo child who was just diagnosed with PDD-NOS - although the majority of his symptoms (symptoms? Don't like that word, nor quirks, which both sound negative) are in line with Asperger's. I am guessing that my own negative experiences in school - now being mirrored by my son - have to do with social skill deficits I (mostly) have overcome as an adult.

Struggling a lot because he is extremely friendly and seems NT when he first meets people, and his...for lack of a better word, symptoms...seem to wax and wane in intensity (at least the social issues, outbursts, violence, stimming(?) etc. - fortunately for us his astuteness, precocious vocabulary, curiosity, and wild imagination seem to stick with him always. He's a neat kid.) Am lucky to have a supportive husband and to have been comfortable with asking for help, but am only just now getting it from our school and from counselors. I still can't shake the feeling that other parents and family assume the negative behaviors - some of which are quite serious - are due to bad parenting - and I can't blame them, as he really is a charming young man most of the time, and it is quite a shock to see the change that can overcome him.

Am terribly grateful for a place where I can hear what Aspies have to say as well as other parents who have experience. I'm reading a lot, but it is most helpful to hear from those who know firsthand.

Thank you all; I look forward to getting to know you.

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Welcome to a world still misunderstood by the majority. Having been raised by NT-ish parent's (my mother is nuts in a good way, and I swear my father is definitely AS/PDD), you can do only so much . . . but not everything is going to be your fault. A lot of his shortcomings will be due to stress (something he hears, smells, or sees usually), and we have no way to filter out a lot of background "static" that the majority seems to do without thinking. Just ask him if something is too bright or too loud (sensory issues are quite common), and his behavior is likely him trying to compensate (or at least relieve the stress of it). In the meantime, welcome, and be sure to check out the parental support threads .

Greetings and welcome to the WP community, momsparky.

Welcome to WP!

I can tell you now, keep at it. It might seem hard, but we Aspie's are worth it!

Welcome to WP!

Thank you all - and no worries, I can see the whole picture and know well that my son is amazing, and "worth it" as you say! I just want to make sure that he's getting what he needs to navigate the world as an adult, without going completely out of my mind myself - I appreciate that you've got parent support here, and that the adult AS members pop in and give feedback there as well.

Hmm. Raising a child without going mad. Is that possible?