Where to start, it's hard when you want to put an entire life history in a single post, like so many whole thoughts tumbling around in a blender but intact; I digress, I'll try to cover the last few days. I have a neighbor that has a child growing up with fully diagnosed (13) and realized Aspergers. I've known both of their sons (the younger one is not NT but no diagnosis he however has Mobius to make things even more complex) and to a lesser degree the family for almost 3 years now but with very little overall interaction; I've been going through a lot of mental readjustment recently after having been laid off for a year and now employed again for almost a year during which my mother passed away from cancer that hit really hard at the end.
Needless to say although I will anyways, my entire concept of reality has been shuffled around a bit. Through a simple Facebook interaction with the mother of the AS diagnosed son, I found she was looking more into the details of AS and seeing the comments and doing a little lookup myself realized how many of the typical features someone with AS has that I have, although being 32, I've never exhibited symptoms serious enough to warrant the questioning of basic psychological functioning to that point. My overall social development is however at the point where it can be seriously said to not exist. Work as a lot to do with this epiphany as I've been forced to deal with dozens of people, I wonder how much of this is truly 'abnormal' rather than delayed social teaching.
I've never been 'normal' as I've perceived it's existence, could probably write a book about my life, but it didn't occur to me until that moment with the Facebook post that I might actually share some of the same traits as someone with Aspergers, said sons mother also mentioned she noticed I had some Aspie traits at that point, looking all this up has brought me to this point. I took the "Aspie Quiz" and was shocked by the results that I'm in the 70%+ range for Aspie traits and 30%- range for NT traits. I don't strive to be NT or Aspie just trying to fit it all in with reality and my psyche.
I had my wife take this test just for a personal sanity check, and she scored classic NT. I'm not trying to use this test to diagnose anything and don't feel that a proper medical/psychiatric evaluation is needed at this point, though it might help set my mind at ease to say that I was officially diagnosed, and that has pervaded my thoughts as well. The last week has been unreal as far as reading some posts here (very few actually there's a lot to absorb) My mind is still literally rearing from trying to fit this information into my daily routines while re-filtering my entire life's experience based on it.
This is my first post, I find my nickname nearly perfect for a handful of reasons, but I'm welcoming comments and input from this weird and wondrous community. It's a mark to the seriousness of what I'm thinking to state that for me to ask for opinions of this nature on something this personal, is unfounded in my life. I'm hoping that will be appreciated and my post as a whole will be seen for what it was meant as.
Hi, how ya doin, here I am, what'cha think?
By the way, anyone here can call me Jake.
28 Jul 2010, 7:31 pm
