Hello. I am a new member

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I am so happy to have found this little spot on the web and thank you for letting join.

I am an older single mom of a 14 year old Aspie kid. He is my heartand soul and I love him to pieces. I can not imagine my life without him.

He is now a teen and I am now starting menapauce and yes, we have are issues at times. I am hoping for some advice on how to deal with this as we are both all over the place some times.

he tells me that I do not understand him and he is most likely right on the money. I tend to be a babbler and kinda all over the place at times. I am trying to learn to speak slower and more directly to him.

Isaiah was diagnosed about a year ago, but I have know there was something different since he was very little. and I was right. "They" should really learn to listen to us moms cuz we know.

I have a few health issues also and Isaiah helps me to the best of his abilities. He really is a great kid

He can become violent at times when frustrated, although he tries his best to maintain, it still comes out once in a while and he has hurt me. He then feels very sad and guilty and will do anything for me. He loves me as much as I love him and I know it.

He is extremly messy and this makes me crazy. I swear he is worse now than when he was three years old.
He has senory issues, compulive behaviour, sometimes he is 40 and then other times he like a little boy.
He has clothing isses
He has hygiene issues
He has food isses and I could go on. I am not going to because it probably sounds like I am a very negative person but I really am not. sorry
I just get very very overwhelmed at times and without a partner to share the load with can make it difficult sometimes.

Barb from Ontario

Well, welcome to Wrongplanet.

Greetings and welcome to WP!

Okay, about your son's violence, that's the most serious part. And that has to be him. You are not responsible for someone else's violence. Your son needs to talk with a teacher or a coach, you can arrange this, but you can't get in the middle of what they're saying. And probably it would be better if it was a male teacher or coach.

I am Aspar. My mother probably has Asperger's, she definitely marches to her own drummer. And myself, I'm either on the spectrum or close.

When I was a teenager, esp. when things weren't going well between her and Dad, my mother tried to be my best friend and that wasn't healthy.

And so, I'd really encourage you to try and be a bridge person for your son, and not a cloister person.

At age 14, my guess would be that for about a year he's been trying to break free and do his own thing, which is largely healthy afterall.

You can model social interaction and community events for him. For example, if you confidently and matter-of-factly attend civic groups looking for a couple which are right for you, he might get the idea, hey, this is just something which adults do. And as far as directly giving verbal advice, yeah, just like every parent, you can do that, and realistically he might follow some of it. And that's probably as much as you can hope for.

Welcome to the WP community, Barb.

Welcome to WP, Barb!

Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WrongPlanet.

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I hope you can find some advice on what you need(probably in the parents section of this forum).

Welcome!

This is a interesting introduction that I've seen for a pretty good while and it must of been difficult being a single mother actually raising an autistic child, so I definitely give you some credit for that.

But you did say that he gets violent, do you know any reason you think might be causing him stress? The chances are that he wants to be like everybody else but can't seem to and remember, if you see anybody who are non verbal, the chances are, some of them (probably most) will definitely understand what you are saying.

Welcome to WrongPlanet and you will hopefully find your answers here.

You can start of by posting in the parents forum, your answers are in there.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Thank you all for the welcome.. I think i found the perfect place to get advice and have the occasional frustration vent

Welcome to WP, babzz (Barb)!