Not quite your 'typical' Aspie (if there is such a thing)

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Hello all, the wife recently discovered this place. Like many of you I'm sure, I am a displaced Aspie. Unlike many Aspies, I feel that I have slotted relatively normally into society. I am viewed as eccentric, and can be perceived as rude or arrogant (no surprise there ), but as a neurotypical. I am undiagnosed, and have only been aware of Asperger's itself for a year or so. As soon as I heard about and read it, the wife and I knew it was for sure. I've had a history of being obsessive, and like many Aspies I was misdiagnosed with OCD - ironically there are probably far more Aspies out there than OCD victims. I constantly moaned to myself and her that I couldn't relate to OCDers - not surprising considering the degree of non-Aspie based obsessions they have (IMO Aspie obsessions are more rationally based), and I have no compulsions. There are of course all of the other Aspie things I have; social awkwardness/eccentricity, preoccupation with numbers, patterns, logic, etc., a narrow focus of intense interests, clumsiness and poor co-ordination. In short, I am a lover of perfection and order. I adore things in all of their perfect form - books, video game boxes, CD cases and CDs - keeping things pristine. Everything in the house should have a place... you need something, you know where to find it, and everything looks nice and neat, although I like 'artistic' positioning; my house is not militarised like it 'lacks soul'. It is all of this that lead to the misdiagnosis.

So, you're obviously all DYING to know about me, I can tell. ^_^ I'm 23, married but we are both polyamorists (please don't jump to conclusions about this, it is not 'swinging' and sex is low on the priority list), 2 kids, 7 ferrets (no, they don't smell - they've all been neutered/spayed) and a pet skunk (neither does she, they're always de-scented and only naturally only make it as a defence)!

I'm a weights trainer (pics here of my progress if anyone's interested though they're quite old now and I'm bigger up top and smaller on the waist since then - actually, updated leg shot here and a sideways one here), into philosophy big time and am finally going to uni this September, although I've read a lot outside education. I seriously like a stomp to some funky disco house or kickin' trance, into gaming: Metroid & Zelda freak, I like sci-fi like Star Trek and Stargate, Battlestar Galactica, etc. big time. Love fantasy too, I'm just about Terry Pratchett's (of Discworld fame) biggest fan. I'm quite spiritual too - a natural pantheist actually, and am very much a holistic person - and loathe religion and its social effects. I'm a pretty unconventional thinker and have some VERY unconventional views on the way society is run and it's attitude towards sexuality on all fronts - some of you guys might enjoy these websites:
www.logicalreality.com
www.tperkins.com
I'm a real advocate of environmental issues, Third World Debt and Fair Trade too.

I also enjoy random humour, think Bo-Selecta or Burnt Face Man and you've got it. That's quite a neuroypical trait I have, along with my love of clubbing, but please don't let those make you think that I am not AS, I am adamant, and I have no love of 'general' socialising and am often quite solitary. Clubbing is infrequent, I just enjoy it when I do.

I feel that I have adapted to an extent to the neurotypical world - not enough sadly, which means that try as I might, I constantly slip up, as I did so very much recently on a message board that I did enjoy frequenting, but in the end I gave up (as much as I enjoyed it), despite my having a postcount above 600 posts. I loved the focus on random humour there but I just didn't understand when irony and sarcasm were being used as often as they were - I would be serious when it wasn't warranted and vice versa - you'd think that in text it'd be easier to understand, but in real life at least you have a tone of voice to go by, but with this there was just an expectation to just 'get it' because the NT mind set is a certain way which can identify it.

We are currently battling for a diagnosis, we feel that it will aid in university and that the NHS will take me more seriously rather than insisting on 'exposure' therapy (which is known to adversely affect Aspies), coupled with the fact that Aspie obsessions are not the same as OCD ones, nor do they have the same root. However, the NHS seem extremely reluctant to refer me, and would rather fill me full of anti depressants which are for my feeling of displacement - I have found them useful but have had enough. I have no aims at the moment, except to move back down to the South West of the UK, so my life is pretty empty bar the weight trainng. I've found myself not even wanting to get on with my usual passtimes, reading, gaming - I just feel sick of it all. I'm hoping things'll pick up soon with spring on the way, although moving and getting to university will be what makes the difference, and I can get off these DAMN PILLS!

Sorry for the long post, you better get used to them - it's usually how I am. So that's me, not your typical Aspie; but just as misplaced I feel.

Last edited by groovemeister on 31 Mar 2006, 8:39 pm, edited 6 times in total.

Welcome to the site! Weight training is fun. I love going to the gym.

Thanks for the welcome!

So you've been bitten by the iron bug too then?

Jeez, I know that it's a long post but you'd think that a few more people would say hi! Ah well at least I got 1.

Here's a second. Hello and welcome.

Welcome to Wrongplanet Groovemeister,

My very NT dad is a polyamory activist where I live in Bendigo and I run a local social group for young adult aspies, where one of the female members is into polyamory. But I am not into that kind of lifestyle, even if I was, I doubt I would have the social skills to manage a traid relationship



I've been working out in gym for the last 3 months, namely I would like to become well toned and get rid of my beer gut. Also I want to get myself fit and atheltic,since a lot of the male students on my campus and especially the Business department (I study accounting) are fit kind of guys who play Aussie rules football. However I am not going to be like MindofOrderedchaos and become as well built as a football player and as fit as an olympic long distance runner, I just want to be fit and be able to avoid diabetes and heart disease which run rampant in my family.

Yay, 3 replies!! Thanks all, things are a bit beter now.

Newchum if you want any advice on diet and routine for weights I will be happy to help set one up for you, have much knowledge to share. You wouldn't believe how much is necessary to know to make it work, especially in regards to the right foods (as opposed to just 'avoiding bad stuff') and making sure not to overtrain!

It's GREAT to meet someone else online who at least knows about poly. So many think people it's about sex, sex, sex - or that it lacks love, when nothing could be more wrong. But you know a poly AS? Lucky you, I wish I did!

I have a good idea how to get pretty well toned in regard to working out and eating right. It is going to take me a fair while to get well toned, I am getting there. If I do everything right, I will have toned myself pretty good by next summer (December)

welcome to the site

hope you have fun and you meet the peopole you want to meet

jammie

edit: You've made it. You're an adult with a life partner and I assume a career. Ignore this disorder, don't try to get diagnosed, don't think about this disorder in relation to you. Think of these behaviors as facets of your personality. It sucks to have elements of your personality explained as part of a disorder. What you thought was one of your quirks...that's just the flaw in your mind. You're not unique!

That's a crappy way to live, and think. Forget about this stuff.

Woo, it's been a while since I last came on!

Thank you but you're mistaken (unforunately). I'm married yes. My wife is very compassionate and intelligent but unfortunately very much the NT and we have communication problems DAILY. Not only that but we have two children (biologially hers therefore 100% NT) which I also have problems getting across to. As for a career, I'm wanting to go to uni next year but AS has held me back and I had to retake many courses at college - I got an A in my chosen subject in the end but that was after retaking it, the second year retaken twice (so 3x in total).

That, plus I obsess ALOT and I know this is down to AS. I have had ups and down in terms of how much I obsess so I feel a diagnosis would mean an expert could help me understand my own bonce a bit better.

Hello and welcome! It does seem to take a while to get lots of "welcomes" here; but they do come eventually.

I loved your description of your house. That's just how I'd like mine to be...unfortunately I live with a messy but loveable NT packrat.

Of course they are! Mine are too.

I shall add another welcome

I enjoyed reading your post, not too long not too short
I also enjoyed the various links, and having a link to wiki was great, saved me a few steps!

Welcome, have fun!

I just read what a polyamorist was today.
:þ

Welcome to the site. Are you going to try to get diagnosed? I'm going through that right now, although like you I've always known I was different, did a relatively fair job fitting in (appearing just eccentric) and my friends and I pretty much already know what the results will be.

Anywho, welcome to the site.

Ah no, you misunderstood: Everything should have a place. Sadly it doesn't. My life is quite literally a battle with the wife to organise things. She seems to feel justified in leaving clutter everywhere, and it does really drag me down. Quite how SUCH a messy and disorganised NT and I got together is still baffling me to this day.

Well, that's us Aspies!

kc0eks: glad you enjoyed, a more 'down to earth' Poly explanation is here: http://www.xeromag.com/fvpoly.html

Curiously enough I've discovered that so many Pagans are polyamorous and vice versa - and I myself am quasi Pagan/Solitary Wiccan. So, interesting that...

phoenixjsu: Yes I am trying to get diagnosed and it is a LONG ongoing battle that I don't know that I'll win.

Thank you all for your very warm welcomes!!