reaching out

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Joined: 23 Sep 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 100
Location: England

26 Sep 2010, 1:47 am

I am female and forty and from the uk.
Have spent eight years talking to mental health services and am in worse situation than ever.
They will only say that I suffer from low esteem and depression.
And should take some drugs.

I think these are symptons, that may be caused by aspergers.
But they don't think this is possible, because it seems like I am having no problems participating in the dr/patient discussion.

Feel exhausted with life. Would like to say to them, give me some drugs and tell me how many will kill me.

Feel like at every stage I have tried so hard to learn the rules, how to behave and I never manage it - I'm always just pretending and there is almost nothing left of me, that I am confident to project.

leejosepho
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26 Sep 2010, 1:59 am

memyselfI wrote:

They will only say that I suffer from low esteem and depression ...

I think these are symptoms ...

... and I think you are correct. We esteem ourselves lowly because so many other people for so long have either driven that into us or outright beaten us down, and nobody can hold up under that forever.

Welcome to WP.

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I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
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memyselfI
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Joined: 23 Sep 2010
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 100
Location: England

26 Sep 2010, 3:02 am

Maybe I should submit (for the third time) and take some drugs.
My problems are:
1) I think they are placebos.
2) I find them difficult to swallow.
3) I'm not motivated/organised enough to take them regularly.

And then they ask you impossible questions - have the drugs made any difference to your life?
How can you evaluate when life is never like a blind experiment.
It is always changing and just talking to the person who prescribes the drugs can double your human interactions for 1 day.

KyleTheGhost
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26 Sep 2010, 7:32 am

Welcome!

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I am Ashley. My pronouns are she/her.

leejosepho
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26 Sep 2010, 7:47 am

memyselfI wrote:

3) I'm not motivated/organised enough to take them regularly.

That is because a low esteem of oneself is not a symptom of a life-threatening condition, and neither can drugs do anything about that anyway.

memyselfI wrote:

And then they ask you impossible questions - have the drugs made any difference to your life?

Yes, they just do *not* understand at all.

memyselfI wrote:

How can you evaluate when life... is always changing ...

At its core, "life" is actually the same for everyone. However, at least some of us typically have no core grasp on it ... and therein lies its challenge for us.

_________________
I began looking for someone like me when I was five ...
My search ended at 59 ... right here on WrongPlanet.
==================================

Logan5
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Joined: 24 Feb 2007
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Posts: 398
Location: Sanctuary

26 Sep 2010, 3:31 pm

memyselfI, unfortunately, adults in the UK often have problems getting a diagnosis through the NHS. You will find several stories in these old threads
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp2885869.html
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt70630.html

I find communicating with other people to be difficult in general, and communicating with medical personnel to be extremely difficult. As a consequence of this, I avoid visiting my local quacks (GPs), unless it is absolutely necessary. C'est la vie

Anyway, welcome to WP.

Last edited by Logan5 on 27 Sep 2010, 11:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

CockneyRebel
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26 Sep 2010, 4:30 pm

A special Welkome to WrongPlanet, with a K.

The WP Kink

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Moog
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26 Sep 2010, 4:41 pm

memyselfI wrote:

Yeah, adaption confuses people. Being situationally functional also confuses them. They cannot see the entirety of your life and being.

Quote:

Feel exhausted with life. Would like to say to them, give me some drugs and tell me how many will kill me.

Feel like at every stage I have tried so hard to learn the rules, how to behave and I never manage it - I'm always just pretending and there is almost nothing left of me, that I am confident to project.

I hope you feel better, please do stick around. Hope you work out what your deal is, and find some peace in your life.

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memyselfI
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Posts: 100
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26 Sep 2010, 5:08 pm

Thank you for replies and welcomes and not saying anything scary.
(Like you don't belong on this board).
Feel it is a small lifeline.
Hope to find a way forward, understand more and practise communicating.

lelia
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26 Sep 2010, 6:24 pm

I'm sorry life is so hard for you right now.

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