Greetings from an undiagnosed aspie

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First of all, hello everyone. My name is Lucas (if you remember that 1987 song, please refrain from commenting ), I'm from São Paulo, Brazil. I'm really sorry for the following humongous text, but I was never good at small talk.

I've read about AS some 2 years ago, but didn't want to jump to any conclusions before I was absolutely certain. Since yesterday, I am certain. Let's see:

Social awkwardness, check. In fact, I'm so bad at social interactions that I developed an intense fear of them. I have a hard time looking in the eyes of another person, gesticulating, recognizing faces and not saying stupid things that make people think I'm crazy. I went through school without any friends whatsoever, saved only by my above average learning abilities. And, even though I'm 20 years old, I've never dated or even kissed a girl.
But enough about that. I'm improving now. I have friends at my workplace and they actually think I'm a funny, spontaneous person (but a little weird, nevertheless). They even taught me how to detect if a woman is interested in me, and I must say I'm impressed by how many women I've caught looking at me in the few months since then. Even so, I would sooner face God and the Devil than talk to a woman who thinks I'm attractive. I really need to get past this fear of rejection (which is probably an undesired response to the social awkwardness from AS that plagued my life)...

Speech peculiarities, check. Since I was a kid, I've used a vocabulary well beyond my age. And I speak my language more fluently than most people. Even now, people still tell me to use words more befitting of a young adult. Since my native language is brazilian portuguese, you won't see this peculiarity here. My english is pretty much average, with a few mistakes, I think.
Also, I will always speak too loud or too quiet. No exceptions.

Too much focus on one interest, check. During my whole childhood, I was an assiduous reader. In fact, I began reading when I was 3 years old. But I didn't read children's storybooks. I really liked didatic books: encyclopedias, textbooks from school, scientific magazines. I had an abnormal interest in human knowledge. Animals were my favorite topic, but astronomy, history and any other sciences were valid. This led some people to believe I was a child prodigy, which is a label I didn't really wanted. Thankfully, few people would suggest that.
When I was about 12 years old, I began acquiring an interest in video games. For some years, I conciliated my two greatest interests by writing a RPG video game. I wrote in a notebook the plot, skills, enemies, items, places, characters and so on. Since I haven't learned any programming language yet, the game is still in paper. A shame, really. My game was advanced for its time, but nowadays, it would be just an Oblivion clone with JRPG elements. I have planned three other games and a few card games since then.
Nowadays, I began developing an interest for finances. I'm almost obsessed with investing my money in my savings account and shares, and I intend to expand my investments as soon as I have the chance (read: as soon as my current investments generate enough revenue). By my estimatives, I could very well retire in 10-15 years. Say what you will, but this is the best Asperger trait ever.
Also: comic books. I really like comics.

Underdeveloped motor skills, check. I'm really stiff. I walk in a strangely robotic way. It took me a long time to learn bycicle. My reflexes are below average. And I actually forgot how to swim after a 10 year hiatus in swimming lessons. Even though I practice dancing, swimming, kung fu and boxing, I'm always being reminded to "loosen up" by instructors and colleagues. This doesn't mean I can't learn such skills (in fact, I'm always the first one to get the theorical part of each movement), but I need to pay constant attention to myself so I won't get too stiff. And it takes more time for me than it takes for others to learn the necessary moves.



The only characteristic which don't fit into Asperger syndrome: I like parties. Sure, I hate the loud music, but the dancing and the people are actually a good thing. Maybe it's just because it's more difficult to feel lonely in such places or maybe it's because you never go into one of those without your friends. Whatever.


Aaaaand... I forgot to mention how I was a really active child and became an anxious and depressed teenager. Fortunately, I'm getting over it since I got a job.

That's it. My introduction turned out to be an autobiography. Sorry about that.

P.S.: As for why I'm undiagnosed: I don't really want my parents to know I have something that could be seen as a disability. I'm sure they suspect there is something wrong with me, but it's probably only a suspicion. I wish to keep it that way. My friends, on the other hand, will probably know. I only care about what my parents think of me.

Welcome!

Hello, Lucas - and welcome to the Wrong Planet forums.

Welcome! (From another undiagnosed Aspie).
As why I'M not diagnosed... well, everyone thinks teenagers lie all the time, including my mother).
Hope you like it here

Welcome to WP!

Hello, Lucas. Welcome to WP!

Welcome to WP, Lucas.