I think i'm an Aspie

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Hello my name is Barb from New Jersey, USA

Last month April was Autism Awareness month. At the school i work at, i read a pamplet about Aspergers Syndrome which i never heard of before. It said that people with above average or average intelliegence could have Autism. I read that part about Aspergers and it sounded so much like me i went ohhhh noooooo!! ! I can't have that!
I always thought i was just real shy and had social phobia. I starting reading everything i could about it and realize that it all fits me to a T. It's why i never fit in no matter how i tried, and i have a hard time looking people in the eyes when i talk to them.

I turn my head to the side when people address me or i have to meet someone for the first time. I have a hard time putting people names to their faces. I'm always forgeting peoples names. I once forgot the name of this girl with the same name as me. A lot of times i walk right by people without realizing it because i'm in my own little world. I hate when people bump into me or invade my personal space. I've always gotten picked on by other people because i didn't act normal i guess.

I could never figure out what i did to these people that they hated me so much. I have no conversation skill or social graces. The teacher used to make fun of my monotone voice and expressionless face in 6th grade. He said i would make a great poker player. Ha ha

Then they put me in the slow reading group because they thought i was slow. The way they determined your reading ability was to have you read something in front of the class. Of course i was petrified and did terrible. It was very frustrating for me being in that class, because i actually loved reading and was a speed reader.

The other thing that makes me think i'm an Aspie is because i've always done the hand flapping thing. I tried to stop but i never was able too. I think it helps me to focus my thoughts. I don't do it in front of other people because i know it looks weird.

This week i tried to tell my psychatrist that i thought i have Aspergers. I was going to him for depression and anxiety and also because of work-place harassment. He said well at least you're not the explosive type. He gave me a free trial for Adderall he said it would help with the Aspergers. I think it is mostly for Attention Deficit, but hopefully is helpful for Aspergers too.

Well i feel better now that i know it is not my fault that i'm um.... different. It's nice to know that there are other people in the world like me.

bizarre

you won't be so bizarre in here.

I'm not sure about the "sure you might be aspie - here's a drug for it" treatment.

I'm not so sure that aspergers and ADHD go together all that often either - it is hard for an asperger's person to concentrate on stuff that doesn't *interest* them, but give them something interesting (dinosaurs, astronomy, train time tables - whatever it might be) and they concentrate so well they often don't hear other people telling them class is over and it's time to go home now (well that's how it is for me).

An ADHD person can't concentrate like that on anything, even the interesting stuff.

A person (including the professionals) not so well aquainted with the difference may mistake one for the other.

And ADHD drugs can make Asperger's (some of the related symptoms like anxiety and depression) worse. There aren't any drugs for Asperger's specifically.

I never took drugs for any of my problems - I don't like the way drugs affect my thinking - except for coffee/caffine. Some AS people - say there are drugs that can help with the depression and the anxiety - but I'd rather just live with a bit of that.

I also find it is easier to explain a relevant symptom to someone than try to explain asperger's syndrome. Most people can't even absorb the concept of "socially incompetent" and the minute you mention autism - they think person rocking in the corner and not relating and tune out everything you say after that because you couldn't possibly be talking to them and be that too. Not even a little bit.

So I tell the real estate agents - I can't have a house on a corner because there is twice as much traffic and I am a really light sleeper. Ie something specific they can understand.

It is nice to know that people are studying Aspergers, we're not alone, and there are specific strategies for managing the social incompetence in a way that makes life easier for everyone most of the time.

hi i'm kim.

I too was seeing a psychiatrist for treatment of depression and anxiety when my son was first diagnosed with Aspergers, but only on a once every three months maintanence schedule. As I studied AS for my son, it soon became VERY obvious my long search for an answer to what I had...had finally been answered.

When I approached my shrink about my problems actually being caused by AS, his response was, "Oh you are NOT an Asperger. I would have diagnosed that". Luckily, I went to another specialist who's particular field WAS autism and received my Aspie badge and Certificates of Authenticity within the hour.

Doctors and Airline pilots can suffer a God Complex...where they believe they are rarely in life wrong. Go find a specialist for Aspergergs. There's a reason insurance companies want you to have a second opinion.

Oh...and being different?...it's really, really cool.

Oz

Thanks for replies Wobbegong, Kim and Oz.

I haven't tried the Adderal yet, because the pharmacy didn't have any. So i will have to go to a different pharmacy tomarrow. I want to see if the medicine will help or not. If it doesn't or has bad side affects, i'll just discontinue it. It would be great it it did help, but i don't have my hopes up.

I was afraid the psychiatrist would have that reaction too, and say i couldn't have AS because he would have dx'ed it if i did. But, i never talked to him about my problems relating to Aspergers. Because i only saw him for 20 mins. a month. Basically, only time to ask how are you doing and write my prescriptions. The only way he could have dx'ed me was if he was an expert on AS and could tell from the way i talked and my body language.

It would be difficult to go to an expert on AS around here...because i had to wait many months just to get an appt. with this psychiatrist and the other doctors i called had an even longer waiting list or had NO openings for any new patients. Also, they would have to accept my insurance plan.

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