I'm new here. Sean is not my real name, I just wish to remain anonymous. I'm 27 years old and I think i might have aspergers syndrome. I joined this site to learn more about it, and add to my personal research on the subject.
If I do have AS, I plan to keep it secret as far as it seems so far. When I was younger I was (mis)diagnosed with an early version of schizophrenia and manic depression, but then when i started learning more about the illnesses, i started noticing a lot of things that didn't check out. During the time I thought I had it I was somewhat public about the diagnosis and I think i started using it like an excuse for everything. It did kinda help people understand i was a little different though, and if all they had in their mind was an understanding i liked them but was different and had difficulty communicating, it seemed to make some relationships run a little better. Where this potential Aspergers diagnosis has problems I relate to a lot more, as well as BENEFITS, I do think it's best to keep it to myself and adapt to my own problems, but maybe it might help at jobs.
Maybe jobs i try so hard at might work out better if i disclose the issue with employers, once i get an official diagnosis. It takes a boss that "gets me" for me to do well, I've noticed. Only then does it combine with the hard work and create a win/win. I'm currently looking for work right now and i think an official diagnosis might help me find a more suitable job. I don't care much for "just getting by", I want to be very useful at my jobs.
My ultimate passion is my music. Almost all of my free time is spent working on it or thinking about it. I write songs that i actually sing with words now, but I've played multiple instruments and am very interesting in learning how to play many more.
I'm also a recovering extrovert. I picked up a book called "How to Win Friends and Influence People", and for a whole season i was treated like a normal person, I was sexually desired and became a valued acquaintance in my community and perhaps peeked into the mind of NTs in a way i never have before. The results of the people efforts brought me great success with my music in many new collaborative ways, but when i didn't keep up with "acting normal" everything kinda got crappy again. Recently I've experimented with trying to force myself to become an introvert because of a lot of the close relationships that suddenly involved random betrayal. That's why I say recovering extrovert, because it's more natural for me to be a people person, but a weird one, think Cosmo Kramer, but sometimes people can't overlook differences and judge me with such harshness that i have no idea how to react. I want so much to get back to the status I had that season after reading the book. Working around and taking hold of my strengths and weaknesses after finding a great deal of relief from this potential diagnosis I think I will be able to get that back again, and help others along the way!! !
I'm currently unemployed, and I'm living in a city i'm not technically a resident of yet. How do I go about getting an official diagnosis?
31 Oct 2010, 9:24 pm
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