47 year old just diagnosed with Aspergers

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Went to a shrink for the first time in my life for grief counseling. My Father just passed away and I was having trouble adjusting back to my real life so scheduled an appt with said shrink. Within 10 min I was labled. After my second visit it was signed, sealed and delivered. Apparently I am fairly obvious...

My Mother has been telling me I am Aspie for years and years but I did not pay her mind. It never mattered before. Now it seems like it does for some reason. I guess I am a sucker for authority. It just felt more real when the Doc laid it on me I guess.

Not sure how I feel about this.

I am highly functioning in life and keep a very cool job (making more money than I can spend) as a computer engineer. I have two very adjusted adult children (26 and 28 years old) both graduated from college and productive indiviudals. I have great relationship with my children. I also have plenty of people in my life and never "wanted" for friendship. I prefer to be alone but people seek me out for some reason so the balance is in my favor. There is no doubt about it that I am not like other people and my friends have all made adjustments for my quirks. They know that they cannot be loud or that I will wear ear plugs to loud places. They know I see differently. They know I need my alone time. They look out for me and make sure that I stay somewhat social. They check me over for cuts and bruises after games because I do not feel pain like a normal person... etc. etc. etc.

I am lurking in the forums and on boards and trying to understand what this means. From what I can tell the whole disorder (if you can call it that) is so vague and so impossible to accurately diagnose that any computer geek could get labeled. There seems to be no definitive line between geek and aspergers.

I see a ton of people crying how they want a diagnosis. I am wondering why this makes any sort of difference? I do not really see any benefit in being officially labeled with a disorder that is so subjective anyway. Am I mistaken?

Oh yeah and Hai. I will be lurking around for awhile.

Sometimes being diagnosed when older is a very good thing as you weren't raised in the box the label gives. You were able to be comfortable in your own skin before anyone could tell you that you shouldn't be. However, many who are younger have felt weird, even more so than the other people of their age usually do and just want to know why. Knowing that you are different is one thing but finding out that you aren't alone, that you can explain this to people so they can understand a little bit of your situation can be liberating. Depends on the person and their experiences. In your situation follow the saying of if it ain't broke don't fix it.

Welcome! We're not all "kids" here--some of us have been living our whole lives "this way" without understanding why. Stick around, for you will learn so much more.

Welcome!

A very special Welkome to WrongPlanet, with a K.

The WP Kink

You know... the diagnosis does answer a LOT of questions but as you say... "if it ain't needing fixed..." I have learned to just retort with "Normal is boring" when people make fun of me. I have spent a goodly amount of time on this planet trying to understand people. Now it feels like I don't really have to try so hard. Don't know if that is a good or bad thing. I am being more accepting of me and the weird things I do.

BTW: is there a specific folder for adults who have been diagnosed anywhere? I see a lot of young people who are addicted to playing video games and the internet on these folders or who are suffering from other normal teenage ailments. Also am seeing a lot of child and parent of Aspie information but all that really is not very relevant to my interests.

Welcome kfisherx! I am new myself

I was 35 when I was diagnosis. Getting a diagnosis is helps people deal with the syndrome, but also opens resources for help that you may have not realized. Good luck and welcome.

kfisherx posted: Went to a shrink for the first time in my life for grief counseling. My Father just passed away and I was having trouble adjusting back to my real life so scheduled an appt with said shrink. Within 10 min I was labled. After my second visit it was signed, sealed and delivered. Apparently I am fairly obvious...

My Mother has been telling me I am Aspie for years and years but I did not pay her mind. It never mattered before. Now it seems like it does for some reason. I guess I am a sucker for authority. It just felt more real when the Doc laid it on me I guess.

Not sure how I feel about this.

I am highly functioning in life and keep a very cool job (making more money than I can spend) as a computer engineer. I have two very adjusted adult children (26 and 28 years old) both graduated from college and productive indiviudals. I have great relationship with my children. I also have plenty of people in my life and never "wanted" for friendship. I prefer to be alone but people seek me out for some reason so the balance is in my favor. There is no doubt about it that I am not like other people and my friends have all made adjustments for my quirks. They know that they cannot be loud or that I will wear ear plugs to loud places. They know I see differently. They know I need my alone time. They look out for me and make sure that I stay somewhat social. They check me over for cuts and bruises after games because I do not feel pain like a normal person... etc. etc. etc.

I am lurking in the forums and on boards and trying to understand what this means. From what I can tell the whole disorder (if you can call it that) is so vague and so impossible to accurately diagnose that any computer geek could get labeled. There seems to be no definitive line between geek and aspergers.

I see a ton of people crying how they want a diagnosis. I am wondering why this makes any sort of difference? I do not really see any benefit in being officially labeled with a disorder that is so subjective anyway. Am I mistaken?

Oh yeah and Hai. I will be lurking around for awhile.

---

Some persons view a diagnosis as a kind of closure to something they have but never could put a correct label/helpful label on. With Asperger's/autism, there are no medicines which work (simplified answer). In contrast to that, can recall a story by Ruth C. Adam who was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 47 and found that Dilantin, for her, helped a little (not a cure). Also, recall an adult with ADHD Inattentive, C. Thomas Wild who was diagnosed with ADHD Inattentive including central auditory processing disorder at age 27 and found that Tirend/NoDoz, for him, helped a little (not a cure). Some persons like Temple Grandin are diagnosed with autism as children and then end up writing about the experience/reality years later.

Well, you could drop by the Dino-Aspie Ex-Cafe, here in the "Getting to know each other" forum - there's a lot of us old folks there (47 also, no diagnosis yet myself, but would like some because then perhaps I could get some sort of accommodation for my, shall we say, little quirks...).

Welcome to WP kfisherx!

Welcome greetings, kfisherx, to the WP forums.

Thanks for the pointer to the "old folks" folder.

Seriously though what sort of accomodations do you think will happen if you receive a "diagnosis"? There are no resources for adults that I can tell to help and no cure. I was actually almost happier before when I did not know there was no cure. At least then I thought that I could somehow get better...

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

Hey!! I am from Portland too. Imagine that. Portland has Aspies. :D

First: welcome from another newly discovered ageing Aspie.

I am very recently self diagnosed; although my wife has suspected for years. Personally, I do not see the point of a formal diagnosis. As you say, there is no cure. I have never thought that I was ill, so what was there to cure?

One thing that is really odd; like many Aspies, I have very strong morals and a sense of what is right but I have managed to inadvertently hurt the ones that I love over many years, just because of the way that I am. Does this make me a bad person? I suppose it does. I am having great difficulty coming to terms with this.

My own realisation is very important and I do want to get "better". At least I can now be mindful of being an Aspie, particularly if I manage to upset somebody, e.g. if my meaning is misunderstood not because of the words that I use but the way that I said them, or if somebody manages to upset me, e.g. because what they actually said was not what they meant.

I really am blind to non verbal communication and it should not be surprising that I do not know how to use it. (My wife still doesn't understand this though.)