Loveshyness / Hi everybody, I'm new here

Post Reply New Topic

Hello. I got to know this group via another group which is the LoveShy yahoo group. This group now is now overflowing with interesting forum posts, ideas, experiences, opinions and comments, that the group has now become a very active and lively community.

Some people there are thinking that bringing up the topic of Loveshyness helps, while others think that it only makes it worse.

It's very nice to see a chess portion in wrongplanet. I am a semi-pro chess player.

I noticed that there are a lot of common traits between a Loveshy and someone with Asperger's.

Let me shoot the first question:

Does Asperger's affect mostly men? Loveshyness affects males mostly.

best regards,

Last edited by pinnoy on 23 Jun 2006, 3:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Welcome to Wrong Planet!

I've never heard of loveshyness. You'll find that some of us here have never had significant others while others are married and have kids, etc. Also, people with Aspergers can be boys or girls, men or women.

Hope you enjoy it here!

Personally, I would like a link to your other group, it sounds interesting.

To your question, asperger's seems to be generally in males more often then females, but anyone can have it. There are lot of possible explanations for this. For example, the traits associated with AS are more socially acceptable for a female than a male to have, thus leading to decreased dianogsis rate.

Absolutely. Here is the Yahoo Group for Loveshy's.

Dr. Gilmartin researched a whole lot regarding loveshyness, and wrote a book on it. This book was like a biography of me, so to speak. It describes me pretty much accurately.

This book is out of print now, but it became so useful that now it was given permission to post it in the internet in PDF format, for every loveshy's benefit.

The groups's admin, Justin Urban, writes:

****************
Welcome. My name is Justin Urban founder of this group. This is an extension of my website which is an ongoing transcription of the now out of print 1987 book "Shyness Love: Causes, Consequences, and Treatment" by Dr. Brian G. Gilmartin. Here you can discuss the issues in the book, talk to others, and learn when the website is updated. For those new, my website is at http://www.angelfire.com/ab6/polepino/toc.html As a personal aside, I'd like to hope that this book inspires others, as it has myself, to begin to seek that help that they so need and desire. As evidenced by Dr. Gilmartin's book, and as he has hoped people realize as well, the help is out there if you believe in it and know where to look. We can NOT do this alone guys. We all, as human beings, deserve to love and be loved.
*****************

The group can be found here:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/lo ... rgilmartin

The book itself can be downloaded here:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/lo ... tin/files/

You must have a PDF reader. I suggest FOXIT PDF READER. It is light and free. You can download it at: http://www.foxitsoftware.com/pdf/rd_intro.php

best regards,

Hi Pinnoy,

Great link, will investigate it further. Welcome to the site.

Last edited by ethamin on 22 Jun 2006, 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

HI

I have heard of 'Love Shyness', but as far as I could tell, there is no such valid nosological classification in the DSM-IV or in ICD-10.

It seems as though such a label is intended to pathologise a life-situation experienced by a great number of men, both AS and NT and because so many NT men experience what is being called 'Love Shyness', it cannot rightfully be seen as being particularly attributable to AS.

I have been a 'loser' - in NT Terms - in the 'love' department my entire life and that is in spite of never having heard of AS until last year. I had been keen on the idea in my teens, but come around age 19, it became abundantly clear that I was not going to fit into that arena.

Welcome to our little hole. We have pizza in the room, MMMMMMMMM Pizza.