Hello all,
i am new here. I have recently become under the suspicion that i may have aspergers syndrome or something in the spectrum. I tend to have asperger symptoms when in company of a new group, but if i continue with the group over time i seem to loose the social awkwardness. I find it difficult to pick up on sarcasm occasionally. I don't necessarily have one interest that consumes me; Music (play the drums in an up an coming band), Cooking (was a cook at a restaurant for 6 years, still cook), received an Associates degree in studio arts (sculpture, painting and drawing) and I am a student graduating with a bachelors degree in Moving Image (film/video/animation) from a University in Spring 2011. Yet they do seem to fit into the same category i guess.
I have had counseling in my teen years that resulted from me getting into trouble at school for smoking marijuana (it was ordered by the school). During the counseling there was a debate on whether i might have ADHD. I took a perscription called concerta, which is like adderall but extended release. It made me sick to my stomach so i stopped taking it. I have found help with focusing through taking low doses of adderall taken from my friends prescription as of lately.
Recently, I asked my parents if there was ever any talk behind my back during the counseling about a suspicion of aspergers/autism after a peculiar instance when returning to drum lessons four years after a hiatus from the lessons and my teacher asking me if they had told me what i had. He muttered aspergers... autism, or something. I went home and asked my parents what he was talking about. Apparently my counselor did suspect aspergers or something in the spectrum, but my parents said that it was later ruled out. My parents were the ones who told my teacher about the suspicion. I had the same instance at work a few years ago. A fellow employee had autism and the kitchen staff was asked to not inform him. One day i walk in and my boss (who was a reckless drunk) was sitting there stewing about something as usual and looks at me and says "you are the same as ____ "(my fellow employee), "your parents called and told me." I questioned him and the dining room manager said "no no nothing, don't listen to him." Because of these past instances i am worried that my parents may be hiding something from me, possibly even after asking them. Like they don't want me to know i have some sort of mental condition for fear that i may give up on life.
I actually found this site from googling aspergers and finding an online asperger quiz. The quiz showed that i have both asperger and neurotypical traits. i tried posting the link but the site won't let me yet
I don't know what to believe. Part of me is suspicious, but part of me thinks i'm just self diagnosing myself wrong or worrying or thinking about it too hard. I mean some of the symtoms of these syndromes seem like they are pretty common amongst people who may not even have anything in the spectrum. And this worrying whether or not i have some kind of mental disability is causing me a lot of stress. Ex, I have a girlfriend, i worry that if in fact I do have some kind of disability that she might not want to see me anymore or if people are going to take me seriously as an artist/musician knowing that i have some kind of mental ailment. I guess am asking for some help.
please respond with any advice or opinions
thank you
08 Dec 2010, 4:31 pm
