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Hi, i'm posting this because just recently I discovered aspergers and i feel like i finally know what's wrong with me and now i stumbled on this forum and, well, i have no where else to post this and blah blah blah, nevermind, here it is - -


I've always said I was a "slow moving creature" but it wasn't really slow moving, it wasn't really me being slow to do the new thing, it was me not being able to break my routines and habits in order to incorporate the new thing.

I can spend 20+ hours on a computer no problem.

Even talking with the same person about the same thing, I have endless things to say if I'm writing an email or instant messaging but if it's in person or on the phone, it doesn't occur to me to say those exact same things.

People talk to me and I hear them and listen and nod and laugh and acknowledge that I hear them speaking to me but after they are done talking, my mind is somewhere completely different and I don't have a good sense of what they were talking about and I don't have a single thing to say back to them about what they were talking about. I've noticed this a lot and I have to force myself to pay attention and re-tell myself everything they are saying to me and then stop and think of questions about what they just said. It's an awkward process mentally and I've been working on it for years but still have difficulty.

I've always thought that someone had to have a very specific strong and understanding personality to be compatible with me. ie friends

i tend to get fairly obsessed with something and can't think of anything else, I wake up, and go to sleep thinking about it, i dream about it, it's all I can talk about, if it's a song, I listen to it for literally 8 hours on repeat at a time.

If the TV/radio/etc is going, I can't hear a word you are saying, even if I am sitting right in front of you and fully listening, I can't hear anything but noise.

I have to force myself to make eye contact with people. Especially if I don't know them. I tend to go through and entire exchange (waiter, cashier, etc) without even knowing what color their hair is let alone what their face might look like.

I tend to talk a little easier if I don't have to look at you.

I have mini panic attacks whenever I have to cross the street.

I have been falling down/spraining my ankle/tripping once a day for as long as I can remember. I can't wear shoes that even have a slight heel or I WILL fall down. I bump into people all the time even when I think I made enough room.

I have always been a poor poor student. I honestly can't remember a single word a teacher has ever said to me. Ever. I've never done homework in my life.

I don't know how to drive and the thought of learning makes me want to cry. Even though it could mean lots of freedom, fun, travel, job opportunities, etc, I can't stand to think of trying.

I'm the most uncoordinated person I know. I have trouble keeping things in my lap, I am constantly dropping stuff, I can't catch, even worse at throwing. I misestimate distances, I have no concept of what a mile or inch is. I can't tell time on a regular clock, has to be digital.

When I say things, it's not for conversation, it's more for me to hear it.

When I meet new people and then we part ways, I force myself to make direct eye contact (i have to forcefully bug out my eyes) and say "it was nice meeting you" and it's quite a big production in my brain and I keep wanting to add their name to it or maybe one day make a joke about something that we had talked about but thinking about doing all of that makes me feel like i'm from a different planet then them.

I order the same thing everywhere I eat. I go to the same places everytime. I walk the same routes always. I can't stand taking the different but to get to the same place in the same amount of time.

I get physically ill if my clothes don't feel right on my body.

If I can hear stuff, I can't get to sleep.

I am constantly talking to myself or having pretend conversations with people I know saying stuff that I would never say to them out loud.

The sound of my own voice really freaks me out. I can't yell across the street to a friend because the thought of hearing my voice so loud and other people hearing this voice just makes me sick.

I catch myself making and holding very weird faces. I put a gigantic mirror in front of my desk so I can remember to not do it because I think it may freak my co-workers out.

Going to meet a friend in public somewhere that they may or may not be yet (ie, meet me at the bar at 8 ) is probably one of the most uncomfortable things I can think of. The entire situation makes me wish I was deaf dumb blind and confined to a wheelchair.

I'll save emails that serve no purpose for 2 or three years just so I can look at them from time to time.

I'm fascinated by people's conversations and habits and ways they do things, i'm always saying/to myself "my brain doesn't work like that"

I cry a lot.

I'm kinda fat but haven't always been, I feel like I eat really well but that it's my lack of physical activity that has me like this. and then i look back to what I was doing when I was thinner/normal and the only difference is that I was more active by habit and routine (taking the bus, walking, etc).

getting me to shower is like herding kittens. generally poor hygiene habits

when I was a kid, I basically spent the whole time in fantasy land, I can't remember friends that I had or things in school etc, I remember how I would sit in the playground looking at the monkey bars and picturing myself being really awesome at them, etc, that kind of thing. fantasy/daydream versus actual events.

my husband says that i say things and then forget ever having the conversation or saying the thing that he says I said. to the point of where we just know that if it came out of my mouth, it's because it no longer exists in my head.

I like to put all like objects together. I have tons of bags for specific things. Makeup, sewing, buttons, patches, toothstuff, first aid, hairstuff, facestuff, soaps, camera, podstuff, etc, etc, etc

Every aspergers test I take I tend to get an obnoxiously high score. Too afraid to go to the doctor to see for sure.

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ok, there's more but that is basically the idea. not trying to put all my personal problems onto you, just getting to know. Or something I don't know. Nice to meet you. hahaha

Welcome to Wrong Planet.

I know how it feels to be possesed by an Obsession. I also wake-up, think about and go to sleep, thinking about my current Obsession. It doesn't matter where I am, or what I'm doing, I'm constantly thinking about it.

<-------This is my Obsession.

Hello and welcome!

Welcome aboard!

I rarely read anything longer than a page unless it relates to me. So, while not knowing anything about you, I welcome you.

Welcome to the site Beautionedup, great story

20+ hours on a computer? Sweet Zombie Jesus, I thought I was bad.

I can relate to a lot of that stuff. Welcome.