What did you feel before you know you have asperger.

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Anyone who's already above age 40 and only know of having asperger less than 5 years ago? What were your feelings, thought, any good friends, any difficulties in life? Have you been feeling something not right, that you are different from other people - before you know of having asperger.

My experience was - wondering why I feel I was very different from other people. I did try to make friends but I find it so difficult, unlike other people that find it so easy to mix around, even to get dates! There are some people who's willing to talk to me, but I have a feeling that they just want something out of me, not as real friends. Sometimes I feel so useless and empty I wish I was not even born.

I kind of wondered why other people weren't serious like I was. And frankly, I kind of wondered why most other people were so stupid.

I mean, there was some health concern and I would really be able to focus on it, most people were just kind of blah (?)

Well, they were focusing on the surrounding social climate. Okay, so people are smart, they're just smart in different ways.

It is good knowing that I now have my 'tribe' so to speak, one more tribe as it were, in addition to philosophers.

I have had some social success self-disclosing as 'I'm kind of a nerd' 'I can get really into topics'


It still hurts that most institutions reward conformists and go-along-Charlies. No, they certainly do not like straight shooters. No, they do not like people who challenge anything, even if it is to focus on the professed goals of the organization. So, I'm a better entrepreneur than an employee. Well, I've known that for a long time, years before I ever heard of the word 'Asperger's.' Now, the issue with entrepreneurship is that 80% of new businesses fail, straight up, mainly because fixed expenses and burn rate eat you alive, these come due before you have the sales and cash collection. So, don't run a store front, keep these way low. Think more in terms of a service business run out of your car or home. For example, I am starting an SAT tutoring business and I feel pretty good about it!

Jobs and careers have been a big issue for me.

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Okay, on the health concerns (and I struggled big time with OCD as a 16, 17, 18 year old). To take an example, with the common flu, generally low-grade, but if you have trouble breathing, get help pronto because it might be eminently treatable pneumonia. And that example would be a good example of feel and texture working well (and not just hard logic). That is, I have had some success of adding to my repertoire of already good skills.

Before I came across the term AS I didn't feel a sense of belonging anywhere. Now I feel I can identify with what people have been through on this forum because it also was my life. I was assessed at age 5 but in the days long before there was the term AS.

I always knew I was different and felt like I was observing everything from the outside. I could not make friends no matter how much I tried and if I happended to be included within in a circle it was usually because they wanted to make fun or bully me. I was not accepted by my family as no one understood what I was going through. My mother tried her best to support me in my special interests which was my only salvation.

I have gained great understanding of some of my other issues through this forum and yes I too felt that nobody else was talking anything seriously... I have recently understood from other posts why my mind is so busy and can't switch off amongst other things.

I agree with the other post on entrepreneurship as I came to the same conclusion and have been self-employed for some time now, I am currently in a transition to tutor children with learning disabilites and work with teenagers in a social group setting. I have use my special interests to the best of my abilities including a lengthy career in the computer industry.

I have also gained insight into many of the smaller issues my son goes through with AS, some I suffered from and have forgotten others are more male specific, but this forum has given me the ability to help him better no matter what the future holds.

Frustrated. Angry. Like everyone else is a bloody idiot.

That's what I felt.