maybe some insight?

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i guess i should start with saying that i'm a new member, not sure if i have asperger's or not. i joined in hopes that i might get some insight and/or some good opinions as well as support from people that have an accurate knowledge of AS

i'm 24, female, and until now, believed myself to just be extremely shy. i have been diagnosed with depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and A.D.D.

a few years ago, my mom told me that she had always sort of wondered if i might have some form of autism because when i was young i seemed to have a lack of emotion. i brushed it off, thinking she was just overreacting. my dad is really quiet, so it seemed more plausible that it was just shyness.

some time ago, my aunt met a girl and her mother at a baseball game, and after some interaction w/ the girl (who had a more severe form, i guess), remarked to the girl's mother that she must be really shy. the mother told her that she had AS and my aunt related that i acted much of the same way-- i seemed to avoid them and interaction with them, enough so that they thought i didn't like them. the mother was pretty convinced from what my aunt said, that it was asperger's. recently, my mom was talking to a friend who revealed she had it, and made mention of the fact i don't make much eye contact, and maybe i could have it.

my mom and i had a conversation about it, and decided it would be best if i looked into it to see if i had any real symptoms.
- a few years ago i figured that it was my A.D.D. that really prevented me from making good eye contact because it was hard to focus on what someone was saying when i was looking right at their face.
-i also have a terrible memory and always have-- i can remember odd things i don't really have any reason to remember, but i can't remember why i went into a room often, or what i was going to do next. this has sort of amped up lately, and i can hardly stay focused on one thing.
-problems with social interactions have plagued me. i was bullied a little, but mostly when i was in grade school, but it gradually decreased as i got older. it wasn't until i was about 15 that i had what i would consider a real friend. it's difficult to make friends, and when i have them, i worry i am getting too clingy. most of my friendships only last a few years. i feel really paranoid a lot, and when i'm around more than a couple of people, i feel really left out, or like i'm just annoying everyone. i typically find myself wandering away from gatherings to be alone. i feel awkward and confused by what people mean, and like i'm either positive they mean one thing, or i'm completely unsure of what they are getting at.

i have been unemployed for about a year, but the last job i had was as a cashier, but i quit after 2 weeks because it was too stressful and i have a lot of trouble with numbers and counting.

i'm not asking for a diagnosis, but i'm really, really curious if this sounds like asperger's. if i could get a few opinions, i would be super appreciative (:

My Adderall just kicked
So I only read the first half
I just turned 26
My story is similar

This is from a post I made a while ago

My name is Bobby Peterson. I just turned 26 in October of 2010. After years of knowing I was different and not understanding why I ended up at a dead end stuck in a life that felt like it had grown too large for me. In elementary school I had friends and we played during school and sometimes had play dates but in hindsight most of my time I was alone and doing science projects and reading, trying to learn about everything. I was very intelligent, but I was a child and still believed in Santa Clause and had no idea I was different. In pre school they told my parents I should wait a year to send me to kindergarten because my intelligence was good but my maturity level wasn’t right. My parents ignored it probably thinking I was ok. Back to elementary school, I was reading very early, I understood everything in school but I see now I wasn’t good socially. I remember staying after talking to teachers and being a teachers pet so to say. I cried when I didn’t get recognition in class and I was attention starved. Middle school comes around and I am becoming slightly withdrawn. Everyone was growing up and relationships and music became very relevant but not to me. I started feeling like I was different, like I had no friends. I stopped doing homework and getting in trouble a lot with teachers. I passed all my tests. This pattern carried on into High School and I was diagnosed with ADD. I took Ritalin but I remember it made me numb and I stopped taking it. I tried hanging out with people but was usually just a tag along and the butt of the joke but I did not realize it and so I didn’t care. I met a friend from Kindergarten-3rd grade and we reconnected. I was getting worse though and did no homework was always going to the nurse to get out of school. I was very awkward and inverted and ended up having to take an extra semester after 12th grade. I had a lot of jobs here and there that my parents or friends helped me get and me and my friend hung out all the time and studied people and we were weird and obsessed with non normal hobbies and got by. Drugs started to become a huge part of life after a while and I was hanging out with a bad crowd. For about a year I was doing all the drugs I could find. I don’t fully regret it as I met people and learned a lot along the way, but I could have died or been arrested many times. I ended up going into seclusion and cutting off everyone to get away. I was diagnosed with social anxiety and started on Celexa. As everyone started to grow apart I was working a steady job at a pizza place delivering food. It was ideal as I didn’t have to interact with people very much. I met a girl there who was very aggressive and she kept coming to me. I was very shy and had no idea what to do but because she was so aggressive we ended up dating. Dating was easy because it was every now and then and she always had a plan so all I had to do was show up. Long story short we’re married and live together. The only problem is now my awkwardness and tactlessness and anxiety is no longer cute it’s annoying. We have fun but when responsibility comes into play it’s a huge disaster. I am now unemployed and living at my parents house until I get a job.
Stepping back a little I remember hearing about Aspergers Syndrome and had passively thought about itover the past few years. Then a year or so ago my wife read an article on it and said I have it. I saw the signs sort of but wasn’t aware of all the symptoms. I would joke and say I had it but that was it. Things started getting hard. I was getting very depressed and started researching Aspergers. I was obsessed and couldn’t get anything else done trying to find if I had it. I went to a caseworker and she had me fill out a questionnaire ,one of those definitely agree, agree, disagree, definitely disagree ones, and asked me questions about myself based on the sheet. She told me I just had social anxiety. I was heartbroken. I tried to believe it but no matter how hard I tried my head still kept telling me Aspergers. I started playing detective and meeting up with old friends and trying to find answers. After all my work I can confidently say I do have Aspergers Syndrome. The problem is that ADD and depression and anxiety all are accompanying problems and often distract from the root of the problem. I am still not officially diagnosed. I realized that I have strengths and weaknesses because of it and it helps but I am now 26 years old and I feel like a baby.

I keep finding people with a similar storyline
20s Finding its more than ADD and Anxiety/Depression

My therapist told me I dont have Aspergers
I know I do
Im just so used to having to get by
I have learned to seem just nervous
But the getting by was just not working anymore
So I sought answers
And I have dignosed myself and feel much better
This is about to make me happy
Watch

I am an ASPIE!!

That felt great

Learn to use your powers
And you might be happier

Welcome to WP!

To WrongPlanet!! !

Do you have another other specific Asperger-type symptoms like repetitive behaviours or rituals? Because a lot of people say that the repetitive behaviour and love of routine seems to be one of the most universal traits of Aspergers, the guy who did my needs assessment at uni said it's the main common trait that all the Aspies he has seen have had. It might just have been more difficult for the person who diagnosed you before to say you had AS because you have ADD too and I think they can come across as being quite similar. Also lots of people with AS are very anxious too. I think if I was you, I'd talk to the person who gave you your original diagnoses and ask whether it is possible you have AS? When I read the traits of social anxiety and GAD I relate to those so I feel there might be quite a bit of overlap. Plus my psychiatrist thought I had social anxiety and OCD before they did a psychometric assessment so they can get it wrong! Good luck

Greetings, euphorik, and welcome to the WP community.

@everyone: thx for the greetings ( ^_^)

@countfred: thank you for the experience

@marsian: when i was about 13-15, there was a particular music group i was super obsessed with. i knew the dates, their full names, really particular details of their lives and career(s), etc. i got over them after a while (tho i still listen to them occasionally). i haven't really obsessed over anything that bad in a while, but i still get really into music on and off. not super obsessively like the first time, but i have my episodes i suppose. right now i've been playing a lot of world of warcraft. ( >_<) it's hard to say because i don't see it from the outside and it feels normal...

btw, thank you for your input. it's very much appreciated!

I think music stuff is more like a special interest. Music is my main interest although I tend to indulge it by listening to the same song or the same album on a loop for weeks on end, until the obsession tires.

By routines I meant do you have like a particular routine for when you get up in the mornings or for doing chores or stuff like that? Or do you get stressed if you have to do things that are out of the ordinary or different to your usual routine?

I think it is quite difficult to know because you are still so young and the main way you really find out about yourself is when other people tell you what you're doing wrong. I used to obsessively pretend to be normal, use fake personalities, tell lots of lies, stuff like that to try and fit in. But I can remember before all of that nonsense, being how you describe kind of in my own world, never having a clue what to say, and I never found out that most people make eye contact until I was 17... Also can you remember feeling separate or unaware to other people before you became socialily anxious? Because I think social anxie is more of a complication, something you develop on top of not knowing how to socialise?

i don't really think i have routines. in fact, i find it really hard to gather the motivation i need to get stuff done.

a lot of this i don't have any really solid answers for. i've not really thought on this for very long, but maybe i will soon. i think you are right- time will probly tell what's going on. maybe it is a just a mix of intense anxiety w/ depression, i'm not really sure.

regardless, i really appreciate your response, b/c these are otherwise things i would've never really considered. i didn't want to jump to crazy conclusions and rush to the doctor and spend money i don't have right now. but maybe soon, i'll go back (i really need something for focus x.x) and get his opinion on it.

I've heard that lack of motivation can be a symptom of depression, anxiety, ADHD, and aspergers! That's what makes it so difficult to self diagnose, because there is so much overlap!

I think the best thing to do is just chat a bit online and see how you feel. Its so tricky because some people who don't have AS read the symptoms and believe they do and some people who do have it, are told they do but continue to believe that they don't!

When the time is right and you have the cash you can get an assessment.

But if you want to get help to be able to focus, wouldn't you need a diagnosis of ADHD???

wow, aperger's is certainly one tough thing to diagnose! like you suggested, i will probly just wait and get an assessment to be sure and just hang around here for now ^^

i do have the diagnosis, i just haven't taken medicine for a long time.

(btw, you have an adorable cat!)

I dont know weather im comming or going most times I am not diagnosed with anything but am convinced i do have aspergers. All things seem to relate to numbers when u read about it online. I dont have an obsession with anything to do with numbers or dates or anything like that but like mentioned by a few people in here i can listen to the same song over and over till i get sick of it and it may be weeks at night while im falling asleep i need my dvd player going and usually do the same with that play the same dvd over and over till im sick of it then change it. I love routine and get rather shall i say cranky if its disrupted. I have a schedule of sorts for my day and too get cranky if it changes. Hope this helps any suggestions for me from anyone i would love to hear them.

SBGURL

Welcome!