Hello - new (aspie?) person

Post Reply New Topic

I'm 32, female, from Lincolnshire, UK. Basically I just wanted to find people on the AS/autistic spectrum to talk to so I can try to understand myself a bit more.

I'm not diagnosed, but I was recently referred to a psychologist (I've been in counselling and therapy mainly for OCD) who said that from what she'd read about AS, it was a possibility. Certainly the more I read about it, the more my thoughts and behaviour start to finally make some sense to me. I'm hoping to try and get a referral soon to an adult autism doctor in Leicester so that I can get an answer one way or another.

My biggest problem is with communication. I don't see the point of 'small talk' and I find it near impossible. I often have trouble understanding peoples humor and whether they're joking or being serious. But I do have a good sense of humor... it's just that these subtleties that everyone else seems to get lose me. I don't remember this problem being so bad when I was a child - maybe childrens' humor tends to be more simple and straightforward, and it's supposed to become more 'sophisticated' as you get older. I'm very bad at eye contact. I have to consciously make myself do it, and then I'm never sure when I should do it and when I should stop.

I have a degree of face blindness. I usually have to meet someone at least four or five times before I'll recognise them if I see them again. Then I might have gotten comfortable with recognising them in their usual habitat - ie, the office - but if I see them somewhere unexpected, I won't be certain it's them.

Noise bothers me a LOT. Sounds drive me mad that other people around me can hardly hear. It does tend to be type of sound that affects me rather than volume of sound: traffic and trains, for example, don't bother me in the slightest (I live near a railway line and find it quite soothing) but being able to hear someone's TV or radio makes me feel almost insane. I have problems with the tactile feel of some things as well. I can't wear regular women's tights/stockings because that thin stretchy nylon fabric makes me feel sick. I can't even stand to touch them.

I get attached to objects rather than people. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say I feel real love for them. I do get attached to characters on TV, but I don't feel that to be a contradiction, because with a two-dimensional person whom you can't communicate or interact with, it's impossible in my view to relate to them as anything other than a moving object. I very seldom if ever feel any desire for real-life friends. I live in a little world inside my head. Change in routine or surroundings upsets me a lot.

I have conversations with myself out loud when I'm alone, and I have a constant 'internal dialogue' going. I tend to pace at the same time if I'm worried or thinking about something - I can do that for an hour or more at a time.

I get obsessions with things every now and then where I can't think about anything else day or night. I feel like I have an almost manic need to pursue and satisfy it.

I tried to learn to drive for a while, but I failed the test three times because although I didn't have much problem operating the car, my observation was very poor. I just wouldn't see other cars that I needed to avoid, wouldn't notice speed or one way signs.

I don't read many novels; I usually read reference books. I love animals and am endlessly fascinated by all the different species and their life cycles, especially invertebrates. If I spot a different bird or bug, my immediate goal is to go and research it. I think my love of bugs also relates to my fascination with anything small, precise and complex.

I have a habit of sucking and chewing on things. I have two or three comfort objects (soft toys and a blanket I used as a baby) that I like to hold near my face when upset.

Well... that's me. Sorry for the long post.

hi hovis where abouts is lincolnshire? it's one of those place names i've heard a lot but never know where it is! i am in northamptonshire.

you sound quite similar to me, in that the way my AS affects me most is with communication and sensory issues (especially noise!). smalltalk and eye contact should be banned! and in my experience most so-called 'humour' these days seems to be about bullying and making people look stupid, well i don't get it and i don't find it funny! noise drives me insane, and it's very dependent on the sort of noise. especially if the noise of someone talking. so i can't stand it if someone has the TV on downstairs because of the noise of the human voice. a quiet cafe with a couple of other people in it talking is infinitely more irritating than a busy cafe with lots of people talking (so it's too loud to hear any one conversation).

how do you find coping with day-to-day life? do you live independently, and do you have a job? if so, what sort of difficulties do you have there? (if not, don't worry, i'm 31, have never worked and still live with my parents )

anyway welcome to wp

Hi, welcome to wp! I am from The Netherlands. Recently I was diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 36.

The best thing about my official dx is that It makes all things fall into the right place.
And an official dx is often needed to get supported help free.

Hi welcome

Hi Diva. Lincolnshire is about halfway down the east coast - it's just above Norfolk.

I also live with parents; I can't afford to buy a house on my own (no partner or anything). I'm working part-time at the moment doing general admin work. How long this job will last, I don't know. I don't have too much difficulty getting jobs - somehow, I seem to come over alright in interviews - but I have trouble keeping them, because as soon as people there start to try and be sociable with me and find out what I'm really like (won't/can't join in with their jokes and gossip) things start to go wrong and soon after that either a reason's found for me to lose the job, or the atmosphere gets so unpleasant I end up leaving myself.

Hi.

I'm really desperate at the moment to get an answer from the doctors one way or another. I'm hoping that if I can get to see the doctor in Leicester whose details I've been given, he might be able to confirm for me what it is that's wrong even if he doesn't think it's AS.

Thankyou.

Hi!

I was going to ask you if you are a big fan of "Hogan's Heroes," but you're British, you've never heard of it, so never mind.

I hope you enjoy posting here!

Welcome to WP. I am Emily. I am 11 years old with Asperger's.

You are welcome!

hello

welcome to WP

I don't think there is a point to small talk.. its just a time filler, or maybe the people you talk to get uncomfortable with silence

Hi Hovis-Welcome!

Speaking as an NT, I agree with what Raph says above. Small talk is something we just do without really thinking about it, but even I find it pointless sometimes.

I find that with my Aspie partner there's no need for trivial chat-we are very comfortable with silence in each other's company. His conversation tends to be about really interesting subjects NTs dont usually think about. I now find myself coming out with 'fascinating facts' with my NT friends, and they sometimes look at me like I'm a bit odd, and wonder how on earth I know so much stuff!

Sometimes it seems like they're almost afraid to be quiet! And other times it's as if it's a sort of ritual that everyone automatically engages in. People ask you questions, and it's obvious that they're not interested in the answers.

Hi Amelia. I've definitely been in that position! A few years ago I used to work with a woman who was definitely NT, but who I got on well with, and I was able to chat with her for ages, because she wasn't afraid to talk about things other than the standard conversation filler. Other colleagues would constantly either give us peculiar looks or outright giggle at us. Sometimes I sense that among many NT people, it's almost... a faux pas to get onto topics that are too 'heavy'.

i don't like talking for no reason... but i do not like complete silence either. some is ok but to quiet is creepy.



i answer questions with yups and nopes.. if it is a question i cannot answer with yup or nope i begin to stutter.

Conversation\/ \/ \/ \/

<Bob>: What have you been up to?

<Kim>: Yup.

<Bob>: Excuse me?

<Kim>: Oh... umm. I i umm i went'nt to the move vies and um...

<Bob>:...(o_O)

<Kim>:...(-_-')

Well, welcome to the club Hovis!!

Please from now on , could you post in your best Cockney accent??

I just LOVE British accents!! !