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This was meant to be my first post but I couldn't think of how to describe my condition. I haven't been diagnosed with AS but most of the symptoms fit. I had 12 sessions with a therapist and he thought I might have a schizoid personality. He eventually rescinded that hypothesis and referred me to a psychiatrist who treats clients with AS.

Here is how I describe my condition: at a young age our guardians lay down a set of social rules. Stuff like "don't talk back to adults," "don't interrupt people," "chew with your mouth closed" and so on. But at some point in early adulthood our guardians stop doing this. This is exactly when social instruction is needed most, when the social sphere becomes sophisticated to the point of bewilderment. Maybe it's because it's so complex that formal guidelines can't be established. It's almost like social knowledge is magically beamed into everyone's head at a certain age.

I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about. When I was 19, a girl who lived down the street from me offered to cut my hair. She asked me what I did in my spare time and when I told her she seemed to get exasperated. She ordered me to go out and do the stuff she enjoyed doing on weekends. I told my friends about it afterward and they said she was flirting with me. I asked them how they knew this and they said because she had asked me what I did in my spare time. Does that mean whenever a young female asks a man what he does in his spare time she's flirting with him? They said no. Then how did they know she was flirting with me on that occasion? They "just knew" somehow.

She didn't tell me that she liked me, but I was supposed to extrapolate this from her hostile and bossy remarks. For all I knew, she thought my free time could be spent better. My friends weren't telepathic, so how did they know she was flirting with me? I figure NTs know how to interpret behavior by relating it to their own. They recognize their own innuendo, facial expressions and vocal inflections in others and relate them to their own thoughts and motives.

I'm definitely somewhere on the autistic spectrum but I'm not so handicapped that I can't develop social skills. My social skills have improved by applying models from evolutionary psychology to human behavior. The models can't explain everything but they have helped. For instance, some of my hostile encounters with males were probably instances of them wanting to assert their social dominance over me. Some of these encounters turned violent (I always retaliated in some fashion or other), but no one ever explained why they happened. No one sat down and said "So-and-so's making jokes at your expense to socially elevate himself." I was clueless.

Anyways, this is turning into an essay. Thanks for reading.

Welcome!

Greetings, Telekon, and welcome to the WP forums.

i await further transmissions from you.

To WrongPlanet!! !

Welcome!

Welkome to WrongPlanet.

The WP Kink

As a first-time user as well, let me say that my first foray into the WP forums is turning out much better than I could have hoped for. I haven't yet officially been diagnosed with AS, but when the necessary paperwork has been shuffled I strongly suspect that will be the outcome. My older brother, some months ago, was diagnosed after a sudden break with reality- leading me to conclude that I'm not the only person on this planet who seemingly didn't get the social memo.

To be honest, I never really thought of myself as a candidate for any real diagnosis. I've always been introverted and "different", never keeping a circle of good friends wider than 3 people at a time, and all my primary and secondary school years I struggled with comprehending what it was about me that made people misunderstand me. I, too, have a distinct problem with following social norms I apparently should understand. My disastrous story follows:

I was also 19 and on Spring Break, and my then-boyfriend was in town for that week. I had to get my car serviced in a neighboring town about an hour away, so I decided I would spend a few days at the beach in our family's condo. I told my parents upfront a few days before I left that my boyfriend was going with me (and staying) until my car was repaired a few days later. They made no comment on the subject except to say that I should ask my grandmother (who owns the condo) if I could stay. Thinking that everything was fine in my world, my boyfriend and I set off and spent three days alone at the beach. The calls from my mother started the day after I left, wondering why I hadn't returned that night, where was I, etc.

A few days after I got back my mother and father decided to have a "discussion" with me about my inappropriate behavior. I was greatly confused because no one proffered any remark on my upfront presentation of my weekend plans. Phrases like "inexcusable", "disappointed" and "we didn't raise you to be this way" ended up getting tossed around, and I, in panicked bewilderment, didn't understand why they didn't just tell me they had a problem with it when I told them where and with whom I would be spending my weekend.

Apparently, they were playing a game I was supposed to know the rules of. I think it's the game of religion and morals vs ambivalence and free-spirited fun. Or maybe it's just "people in the know" vs "people who definitely aren't in the know". I've never understood why they didn't just tell me I was doing something they disapproved of. But I guess their game is mostly played by people who understand the intricate social dynamic at a level I may never achieve. Who can say? Looking back on it, I can say that if I were better at reading facial expressions/body language, etc. I probably could have spared myself a lot of stress in that situation.

I consider myself fairly adept at social interaction, although I have my moments. I suppose I can attribute most of this to being female, even if labeled as a "slightly quirky girl". I'm not very compulsive, but I do have noticeable Aspie traits, especially to the people I'm most comfortable around. I've been told I have an odd gait, an unusual vocabulary and manner of speaking, and I often make unconscious "chirping" noises when relaxed. Overall I'd consider myself to be a reasonably well-adjusted person despite my obvious AS symptoms.

And I think my essay might be longer than yours. Thanks for your time.

I think you'll find plenty of people here on your wavelength! Welcome!