*raise hand*
Count me among The Pagan Aspies!
How to describe my beliefs, though. Not quite sure, but here goes.
Wicca was my first stop in my path. Something about the idea of all creation coming from a Mother and a Father just seemed to make sense to me. Not to mention the faith in general is not predisposed to carry out acts of genocide against non-believers. Never could really find a way to reconcile that with the concept of a supposedly loving God.
I took my first real steps in divination at this point with the reading of Tarot. My personal deck is the Mythic Tarot set - some of you may have heard of it. It is a Greek-themed deck, which may have been what drew me to it - I have always liked classical myth. And the deck just felt right in my hands even before I took it out of the box. Given the theme of the deck, I started to evoke Athena - for the message to be true and Hermes - for the message to be delivered swiftly - during my readings. It was at this time, I think, I started to "come into my own" per se, at least as far as divination goes. Maybe I did something right.
I also crafted my own wand during my time with this Wiccan circle. Lots of blue and silver in it, I'll have to post a pic sometime. I was thinking "manly wand" at the time, and I think that had a lot to do with how I made it. I even made some of my own candles (one of which was made specifically for use during readings.) I also decided to use a short sword for my athame - it felt better in my hands than a dagger did.
I ended up having some personality clashes with some of the members of our circle - the acting High Priestess came from a Dianic tradition, and it was definitely a woman-heavy circle (which I think is exactly how she wanted it. The only reason I was even tolerated I think was due to my wife being there as well.) When the time came that some of us decided to leave, we each put our own tarot decks in the middle of the dining room table and did a pendulum divination, and specifically stated that the deck's owner would be the one to do the reading.
The pendulum swung - fairly dramatically - towards mine. The result of the reading of the ten cards in the spread (I use Celtic Cross) was that we would go. We were on the right spiritual path more or less, but were learning from the wrong mentor for us. "Right Field, Wrong Farmer"
I have since formed a belief system that is entirely my own quite frankly. And that was after a good deal of soul-searching on my own part.
The Rede is still a part of my beliefs in that I interpret "harm none" as non-aggression (i.e. will defend myself, my home, and my loved ones). I still claim Athena as my Goddess, and Her Strength and Wisdom Eternal - along with a very supportive family - has gotten me through this very rough patch that has been the last two years. I just had to find some of that strength and wisdom within myself that was imparted to me when I started walking the path I am on now.
I have not actually practiced "the Craft" for a number of years. Some will likely think less of me for it, but I try to do things for myself without resorting to spellcraft when I can. For the most part, it has served me well.
I also think She guided me to this place. I see so many people younger than I going through many of the things I have been through already, and so I suppose I have a certain amount of wisdom to pass on to them so they may avoid some of the pitfalls I have made - and the pain I have endured.
I also know I am high-functioning, while there are others who are not. I want to use that to help those who I see here who may not be able to handle some situations as well as I can sometimes. If i can help them, I will. If a certain something hits the fan...I will say this.
Athena may be the Goddess of Wisdom, but she is also a warrior when the need arises. And if I can fight that "good fight" for those people who deserve better, I will do so. I will attempt - as human as I am - to live up to Her example. Because I believe it is noble, and decent, and good.
Blessed Be the Brave and Honorable,
Kristov
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"Give me a long enough lever and a place to stand and I will move the earth"-Archimedes
"We will find a way or make one."-Hannibal
"Perception is reality - which is why I try really hard to see the good in things."-Me