HelloLovely wrote:
Hello there!
i am new here (if you couldn't tell).
Hi, welcome to WrongPlanet!
HelloLovely wrote:
Im awfully timid, and I have an absurd fascination with computers and computer science/programming.
This could be what is called a "special interest," but not necessarily. When you say "absurd fascination," would you call it "obsessive"--that is, to the point where it can eclipse everything else?
HelloLovely wrote:
I had a close knit group of friends growing up, (which, to be honest, my mom made these friends for me.) However, I am terribly awkward, and completely reserved, the complete opposite of their outgoing, fun, personalities. I had always felt different. I have absolutely no social skills, i dont know what to say or when to say it, and often end up embarrassed by social interactions because they usually go awry.
*alarm bells going off*
Yep, this is sounding very familiar. The main difference is that, at age 15, I had a few male friends (I'm female) and was okay with being alone the rest of the time. I was always reserved and disliked social interactions for the most part because I knew I was not good at them. (I still have difficulties sometimes.)
HelloLovely wrote:
Now my friends have completely dropped me and I have had nowhere to turn, due to my lack of friends and social skills. Its been a hard two years. I turned 15 in september. Everyone I know is growing an changing, and I am just the same old awkwardly shy, and seemingly invisible, girl i have been forever. I also often find myself feeling
extremely uncomfortable with my peers, but oddly more comfortable with my teachers. Can anyone hopefully share similar experiences or suggest weather or not I get formally tested?
Thank you so very much
I was like
this since grade school!
I'm almost 32 now and often still feel very much like I did when I was in my teens, so I can relate to your feelings of not "changing" along with your peers.
At your age, I was just as happy to be "invisible" because I had been bullied throughout grade school--if people left me alone, it was an improvement. However, that's me--I'm not saying you are "wrong" for being distressed by this.
It is very possible you have Asperger's (AS). Before bringing up formal testing to your parents, however, I would like to direct you to a couple of online tests. They are the only "confirmation" that I have AS--I took them a couple of years ago, and that's enough for me (also, getting tested as an adult isn't easy).
http://www.piepalace.ca/blog/asperger-test-aq-test/
http://www.rdos.net/eng/Aspie-quiz.php
If it is true, please don't despair. For me, just knowing that "it" has a name has been immensely helpful. Like you, I've always felt "different" too--I just didn't know why for most of my life. However I have found others of like mind--some IRL, many more here on WP. You are not alone.
Again, welcome.
Please let us know what the tests say, and I hope this has been helpful.
_________________
The existence of the leader who is wise
is barely known to those he leads.
He acts without unnecessary speech,
so that the people say,
'It happened of its own accord.' -Tao Te Ching, Verse 17